


Remember Me As I'm Supposed To Be

by Aston (orphan_account)



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, SayWeCanFly, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Asexual!Mikey, Bipolar Disorder, Bren makes music too but he just sings a lot, Brendon is super ADHD, Brendon loves to play match maker, Dallon plays mediator a lot, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Lots of Music, Mental Illness, Multi, Pete Patrick and Tyler write music a lot., Pete can be a cheeky asshole, Suicide Attempt, blurryface is kinda an ass but kinda sweet too, insecure tyler, kinda slow burn, mental health, nonbinary Gee, past Brendon/Ryan mentioned, probably gonna be lots of slash, probs gonna be some smoking/alcohol references., worried Patrick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-07-28 07:04:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 47,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7630066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Aston
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first day of a school after being homeschooled for years is enough to fry anyone's nerves. It just makes it worse that Tyler already suffers from too much anxiety to be normal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever work for the Twenty One Pilots fandom.   
> Also, I kind of have a thing about High school aus. I love them, so I tend to write a lot of them if I can.   
> Also, I suck at summaries.   
> I'll likely add tags as I work.
> 
> Enjoy

Tyler absolutely hated first days anywhere. The fact that he was finally going to a public school for the first time since primary school certainly didn't help his already too-shot nerves, though.  
  
The building wasn't huge, but it still felt like it would crush him if he got too close. And so, he found himself standing on the sidewalk staring at the building with an unreadable expression on his face.  
  
It didn't take him long before he breathed a sigh and headed into the building, glad he'd already gotten his schedule. Now all he had to worry about was learning the set up of the school, something which he had to admit he didn't look forward to in the slightest.  
  
The second he stepped into the school building, a pleasant buzzing of conversation filled his ears. Most of it seemed to be coming from the nearby cafeteria, giving Tyler the sense that most everyone would be spending time there before classes.

He hesitated before he followed the sound, pausing just inside the doorway to take it all in.  
  
Groups of teenagers sat around the room at tables, all slightly different but at the same time, exactly the same.   
  
Tyler let his eyes drift around, sometimes catching sight of something interesting - a instrument being out, passed around the group from time to time, a chair being pulled out good naturedly from someone and being followed by bright laughter.   
  
He supposed, when the bell startled him from his thoughts, that he'd spent the entirety of his free time that morning just observing. And as such, he immediately turned and started walking at a semi-fast pace to find his first class, schedule out and to where he could double check to make sure he had the right place.   
  
There were already quite a few students already in the class once he'd found it and double checked, then checked again just to be _entirely sure_.  
  
And so, when he entered the room and eyes glued to the new face, Tyler fought his first instinct to shy away from the sudden attention.   
  
The teacher greeted him kindly, a bright smile on her face. He gave a weak one of his own in return, showing her his schedule.   
  
During the short exchange between the two, the people watching him declined to just a few who were curious to see a new face.   
  
As he was directed to a seat, Tyler found his right hand twitching toward his neck from where he had it clenched around his bag's strap. He gritted his teeth, forcing the urge down. Such a familiar habit to him, but it wasn't one he wanted on display, _ever_.  
  
As soon as the lesson started, Tyler immediately hated it. Everyone around him was talking to someone, asking the customary "how was your summer" type questions. Once the teacher spoke and everyone was quiet, she explained that they'd be spending the class that day "becoming familiar" with everyone else. Tyler didn't like the sound of that, honestly.   
  
And so, when the papers were passed out - something he hadn't seen since third grade - he blinked at the questions.   
  
These weren't the typical "what's your favorite color" thing that these papers held in primary school. He skimmed the questions, worrying his bottom lip. He grabbed the pencil out of his notebook that he'd drug out moments before. He was quick about answering, trying not to think too much about the questions.   
  
He paused at the last question on the page. Habits. He threw a glance up for a moment before he looked back at the paper like it was the cause of every bad thing that had happened in his life.  
  
The sound of someone tapping out a beat on the desk beside him startled him from his thoughts and he glanced over to see a boy with bright red hair sitting hunched over his paper, his free hand tapping out a simple beat while he wrote.   
  
No one else seemed bothered by this, Tyler noticed. And honestly? It was a nice distraction from the only question he had left on the page. After a long moment, he wrote the least worrying habit he had down on the page - music.   
  
Once he'd pushed the paper away, he let himself focus on the beat of fingers against a desk beside him, tilting his head slightly.   
  
He wasn't sure what caused it, but when the teacher finally collected all the papers, he had a blank sheet of paper in his old notebook covered in words that he couldn't remember writing down. As she spoke to the class from the front of the room, Tyler's eyes remained focused on the page he'd decorated in words and phrases, trying to work out what he was going to do with them. It wasn't the first time he'd done this. But it was the first time he didn't have his inner demons screaming at him when he did it.   
  
It was only his name being said that broke his concentration on the paper in front of him.   
  
He raised his eyes to look at the teacher warily.   
  
She gave him a kind smile. "You said you were interested in music as a hobby?"  
  
Tyler couldn't find his voice for a long moment, so he nodded instead, doubts immediately creeping into his mind.   
  
"What sort of music are you interested in?" She prompted, trying to get him to participate like the others had been.   
  
The boy sitting beside him threw a sidelong glance over at him, Tyler noticed, but he still hesitated in speaking. "It's just a hobby," he said dismissively, his voice soft and shaky.   
  
This got a nod from the teacher, and she moved on to someone else.   
  
Tyler let his gaze fall immediately, the all too familiar voice of his doubts and insecurities, the voice of _Blurryface_ taking hold of him. He felt his hand twitch from where it was running over the paper in front of him.   
  
He glanced up, feeling eyes on him. The boy beside him was still watching him. He gave him a wary look, but said nothing, fearful that it would be his voice that came out if he did.   
  
It wasn't until closer to the end of the class that he learned the boy's name. Tyler had gone back to staring at his handwriting filled paper, trying so hard to focus.   
  
And so, the sudden movement of the boy's head lifting from where he was drumming on his desk when the teacher spoke caught Tyler's attention.   
  
"Josh?"  
  
The boy's head moved slightly in a nod of acknowledgement.   
  
Tyler watched, glad to have a name to place with the face and the bright hair.   
  
The teacher's smile was bright as well, Tyler noticed as she spoke. "I can't help but notice you tend to drum on your desk. Any reason?"  
  
Josh's expression shifted for a moment before he smiled happily. "Just something to do, I guess," he said, his voice soft but full of emotion that Tyler had never heard without it being fake or exaggerated. "I play drums, though, so that might be part of it,"  
  
This new fact caught Tyler's interest just as he was going back to looking at the paper.   
  
He blocked out what else was said until the bell rang.   
  
He didn't pause to talk to anyone, gathering his things and repeating this morning's movements to find his second class of the day.

 

By the time that lunch arrived, Tyler was exhausted emotionally.   
  
He got lunch quietly, finding a seat off to himself. As soon as he sat down, he pushed his food aside, bringing his notebook out again and letting it lay open in front of him to what he had written that morning.   
  
But the voice that had come back into his head during first hour was still there, and it was hard to focus on anything besides _him_.   
  
He didn't bother to check if anyone was watching when he felt the familiar feeling of a hand resting on his throat, instead bringing a hand of his own up to rub at his neck harshly, trying to get rid of the feeling of being choked.   
  
"Tyler, right?"  
  
The suddenly familiar voice full of happiness and bright smiles filled his ears and his head shot up, hand still on his neck, to see bright red hair and a slightly less enthusiastic grin than this morning.   
  
It took a moment before Tyler managed to give a smile and nod at an empty seat at the table, forcibly pulling his hand from his neck.   
  
Josh smiled at him as he took a seat. "I'm Josh, in case you didn't catch it this morning," he offered, giving a good natured eye roll. Once he saw Tyler's nod, he continued. "I just...I wanted to say hello,"  
  
Tyler gave an easy, wry smile in response. "I'm fine, thanks," he offered.   
  
And he was. Once Josh had come over and started speaking, the feeling of being choked left, he left.   
  
Josh gave him a searching look for a moment before his grin brightened.   
  
Tyler smiled back, then his eyes fell back to his notebook. His smile faded for a moment before he grinned and started working.   
  
Josh watched in amusement. "What are you writing?" he questioned.   
  
"Nothing," Tyler said immediately, even though his eyes never lifted from the page.   
  
"Seems to be a really good nothing, from how excited you are about it,"  
  
Tyler paused, doubt creeping at the sides of his mind. He glanced up at Josh for a moment before he shrugged. "It really is nothing. Just a hobby,"  
  
And just like that, he saw Josh's honey brown eyes light up. "Hobby? Like the music thing?"  
  
Tyler hesitated, seeming torn before he nodded. "Exactly like the music thing," he admitted weakly. He'd never shared this with anyone, and the very thought that someone was so close to finding out was horrifyingly scary to him all of a sudden.   
  
Josh seemed to notice the sudden shift of emotion, because he spoke. "Well...if you ever want someone to bounce ideas off of....let me know." he said, then started talking about something completely different.   
  
It let Tyler relax, but he didn't say much out of fear of Blurryface coming back. He didn't want to deal with the mess that could happen should anyone find out about him.

 

Surprisingly enough to him, Tyler made it through the day without too much anxiety taking it's hold on him.   
  
And as soon as he'd made it back home, he locked himself in his room until dinner, working on piecing together a lyric or two out of the words he'd written earlier in the day.   
  
By the time dinner was ready, he was smiling happily, if a bit nervously.   
  
He offered short answers to the questions he was asked about how he liked school.   
  
And as much as he still hated first days of anything, he had to admit that it could've gone a lot worse than it had.


	2. Chapter 2

The next several days passed without much incident, and before Tyler knew it, a month and a half had passed.

He hadn't made many friends - mostly he spent time with Josh and the people he hung out with. Every now and again, he'd have to make up an excuse and leave the group behind because Blurry would show up and he didn't want any of them knowing about _him._

Throughout that time, Tyler spent a lot of it working on random songs that would come up, usually starting with a line or a couple words.

Josh noticed every time it happened because Tyler's entire demeanor would change slightly.

One day that this happened, Josh decided to speak when Tyler finished writing. "You ever going to put those to music?"

Tyler hesitated before he shrugged. "I've been working on it," he admitted.

Josh's eyes lit up and he continued, following the new thread of information. "Really?"

Tyler didn't answer this, and Josh decided to let the topic drop, not wanting to push.

* * *

About two weeks after this, Tyler finally got up enough nerve to actually bring his ukulele to school with him. He was hesitant, and his nerves were shot at the idea once he'd reached the school building, but when he entered his first hour class and Josh brightened at seeing the case, he decided it was worth the anxiety. 

 **don't be so sure** , Blurryface's voice murmured in his head. Tyler frowned, but shook it off as he took his seat.

"You gonna let me hear one of your songs, Ty?" Josh asked curiously.

Tyler glanced at him before he gave a weak smile. "Maybe later?" he offered. Blurry's voice was back, mocking his words, then adding his own. **Yes, maybe you'll give him reason to hate you later.**

Tyler flinched at the words.

Josh noticed, giving him a concerned look, but not questioning it.

 

Class was a slow burn, something that couldn't hold Tyler's attention with Blurry being present.

And before it was over, Tyler found himself propping himself up with a hand against his neck, watching the front of the room. It was an easy cover of his normal anxious habit.

If anyone noticed the fact that his hand moved over his neck, no one said anything.

* * *

Once lunch came around, Josh pulled Tyler aside with a hopeful smile on his face. 

Tyler met his eyes, chocolate meeting honey, then sighed and nodded in acceptance.

For once, he ignored the low voice in his head telling him all his worst nightmares, and as he took his ukulele out of it's case, he gave a soft smile through his nerves.

The two wound up sitting down outside with food from the vending machines on campus by them.

Josh seemed to note the nervousness that Tyler had, and didn't push much.

Once Tyler had finally settled, he sighed. "Please don't say anything about the song to anyone, okay?" he said, anxiety too clear in his voice. "It's personal..."

Josh nodded in understanding and there wasn't another pause between the interaction and Tyler beginning to play.

A moment's hesitation happened before Tyler threw a look up at Josh and gave a shaky smile, his voice joining the playing of the ukulele.

And honestly? Whatever Josh thought he was prepared for, this wasn't it. He wasn't expecting to hear lyrics that were deep enough to make him pause and just stare at Tyler as he sang. He wasn't prepared for the fact that Tyler's voice was just as soft and kind as it was when he spoke, despite the nerves obvious in it.

But Josh didn't pay much attention to the lyrics, not as much as he did to the expressions Tyler gave while he sang. He heard them, sure, but he didn't really _listen_ to them. Not until Tyler's playing shifted slightly. Then he actually paid close attention to the words, sure he'd understand why it was _personal_ like Tyler said.

" _Have you ever done that? When you squint your eyes and your eyelashes make it look a little not right_

_And when just enough light comes from just the right side_

_and you find you're not who you're supposed to be._

_This is not what you're supposed to see_

_Please remember me I am supposed to be_

_King of a kingdom or swinging on a swing_

_Something happened in my imagination_

_This situation's becoming dire_

_My tree house is on fire and for some reason I smell gas on my hands._

_This is not what I had planned."_

When Tyler stopped playing after this, Josh blinked. "Oh...uh..."

"Yeah...I know...you don't have to...I'm sorry..." Tyler said, voice quieter than usual.

Josh shook his head, seeming to realize Tyler thought he didn't like it. "No, no, it was amazing," he told him. "Just really....wow..."

Tyler gave a weak smile, but his main focus was on Blurry's voice in his head.

* * *

When Tyler got home that day, he immediately locked himself in his room, not moving to join his family for dinner. 

He ignored his phone when it lit up with Josh's number, showing a text.

He fell asleep that night to the sound of Blurryface talking to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOC, probably.   
> Song is Forest, in case anyone doesn't recognise it. Easily my favorite one of their songs, especially off of Regional At Best.


	3. Chapter 3

The following day, Tyler woke up to the familiar feeling of painted black hands closed around his throat, _his_ voice echoing in his mind.

He spent several minutes with his own hand covering his neck, nails digging into fragile flesh trying to get rid of hands that weren't his own but at the same time were.

Once he finally got rid of the choking feeling, he easily got up and moved about getting ready for the day.

He didn't pause as he left, immediately heading towards school.

Of course, he found himself regretting it. As soon as he took his seat in his first hour class, Josh gave him a wide-eyed, worried look. "I thought Pat was lying when he said you looked rough this morning," he admitted, eying the red marks on Tyler's neck. "What happened to your neck, Ty?"

Tyler's hand immediately flew up to rub his neck, biting down on his lip before he sighed. "I guess I scratched it in my sleep," he offered, lying through his teeth.

**he'll think you're insane, he'll _hate_ you. **Blurry's voice whispered in his mind.

Josh gave him a worried frown. "Alright...just....sorry."

* * *

They didn't speak again until lunch when Josh came and got Tyler from an empty table. 

Patrick gave Tyler a kind smile. "You feeling okay?"

Tyler returned this smile easily and he nodded. "Just a rough night," he offered as everyone settled into their food.

**Liar.**

If anyone noticed Tyler bite his lip and look down, they didn't say anything, which he was thankful for.

Then he felt eyes on him and glanced up to see Patrick watching him discreetly, worry clear. 

Tyler just looked back down, knowing he'd been caught. Blurry's voice echoing in his thoughts made him lose what little appetite he had. 

* * *

By Friday, Tyler was done with the week. He wanted to stay curled up in his room and never leave the safe warmth of his bed. 

When he entered the cafeteria and joined the rest of the group, they fell silent. But Tyler had caught a snippet of the conversation before they did.

"I'm telling you, I recognize the signs, Josh. I'm not trying to..."

Tyler looked down immediately, even through the happy greetings thrown his way.

**Don't even know yet and they all already think you're insane. How sad.**

Normally, Tyler would've been able to brush away Blurry's words, but today, he just shook his head, burying his face in his arm on the table, one hand rubbing against his neck as he did, then falling lank to rest on his leg.

"Sorry, Tyler. I wasn't trying to...you weren't supposed to...."

Pete's soft voice was echoing through Blurry's, and Tyler recognized it, but it was all _too much_.

**There, there, Tyler. You're okay. I'm here.**

" _No_." Tyler said, voice quiet and shaky, and thankfully, no one could tell he was talking to _him_ , not Pete.

No one had time to argue before Tyler got up and left.

Josh deflated in his seat as he watched Tyler leave. Pete was right, he wasn't acting right. "Do you think I should ask him what's wrong?"

Patrick frowned, but shook his head. "Ask if he's okay, but don't try to get information. Just make sure he knows you're there - we all are - should he want to talk about whatever's going on. Don't push,"

* * *

And so, Josh did exactly that during first hour. "I'm sorry about Pete, this morning," he offered. 

Tyler shrugged, giving him a weak smile. "It's fine,"

"Are you okay?"

The hesitation scared Josh, but eventually Tyler nodded his head yes. "I'm sorry for running off,"

"Don't be," Josh told him immediately. "But please...don't feel like you can't talk to any of us."

Tyler froze, staring at Josh in fear, like he was just waiting for Josh to ask what was going on. But when it didn't come, Josh watched the brunette give a thankful smile and nod, relaxing like he hadn't since he'd sang for Josh.

_I hope that means he feels safe,_ Josh thought as they both turned their eyes to the teacher as the lesson really began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOC? Probably.   
> And yes, this is one of those big "a bunch of bands go to the same high school just 'cause" high school aus.   
> I hope nobody minds this.   
> Also, I don't claim to be able to keep everyone in character. In fact, I'll probably base personality off of my own little group of friends because it's diverse and easy for me to actually manage that way.   
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

When lunch came around, Tyler seemed slightly hesitant to join the group, but did so anyway, ignoring Blurry's voice in his mind.

Pete immediately gave him a guilty look, but stayed silent.

Patrick's worried look was much more obvious now than it had been on previous days, Tyler noted. "You alright, man?"

Tyler nodded without pausing to think. "Fine," he offered.

It seemed to be enough - Patrick gave him a happy smile and went back to his food and notepad.

Not long after, Tyler heard him humming and grinned. "You're writing a new one?" he asked, eyes excited. It was one of the things he'd bonded with Patrick over - writing music. They hadn't shared any of their works, but the entire thing had opened up a door to conversations about what inspired them.

Patrick glanced up and nodded, glancing back at his paper and writing a few words before setting the pencil down. "It's slow in the works, but..." he trailed off, shrugging. "Pete's been helping me with it. We'll compare once we both have what we like written, then we'll work it out into a full song,"

This wasn't a surprise to Tyler. He remembered Patrick explaining how him and Pete would collaborate on some songs, where sometimes they'd just write songs on their own.

"You know," Patrick said between bites of his lunch, looking at Tyler with an earnest smile. "You never did tell me where some of your inspiration comes from."

Tyler hesitated, his smile disappearing. "Oh uh..." he looked down, shrugging. "It's nothing..."

Thankfully, Patrick seemed to understand it was personal and dropped it.

* * *

That night, Tyler called Josh while he was working on the music for a song he'd wrote one night they spent on the phone after Tyler had woke up with Blurry trying to kill him. 

This time, it was the sound of him playing on his keyboard that backed his talking.

" _I think it'll sound great, Ty."_ Josh told him. " _Maybe we could meet up tomorrow, me bring my drums or you bring your keyboard, and we could work on the music?"_

Tyler brightened. "That'd be _sick_ , Jish." he said, laughter drifting through his words. 

* * *

For the first time in a while, Tyler slept through a night undisturbed. 

He woke to his phone going off. He glanced at it to see a long list of text messages on his lock screen. Most of them were from Josh, who was more excited than Tyler had ever seen. Some were from Pete, apologizing for yesterday and talking about random things. He responded with a 'it's fine' and moved on to Patrick's messages. All of them were him freaking out. The last one said ' _I'm coming over. Be there in 10.'_

Tyler groaned, giving Josh the warning before he got up and got ready. He'd just gotten dressed when the doorbell rang.

As he stumbled downstairs to answer it, he heard his mother's voice. "Oh, hello."

"Hi, Mrs. Joseph," Patrick's voice answered kindly. "Is Tyler here?"

"Right here," Tyler said with a sigh as he entered into the living room. "Come on in, I still have to eat. I was supposed to go to Josh's though."

Patrick looked a bit panicked. "Oh god, you had plans. I'm sorry, I should've asked. But you weren't answering and I was worried something was wrong, and..."

Tyler gave him a faint smile. "It's fine, Pat. I told Josh you were coming along,"

Patrick relaxed at this, and Tyler disappeared to get a bowl of cereal, taking it and pulling Patrick up to his room.

Of course, the first thing that Patrick did was look around with wide eyes. "Oh.."

Tyler glanced over at him as he ate, bowl setting on a stack of notebooks full of half written songs that he'd been ignoring so he could pull socks and shoes on while he ate.

Patrick was looking at some of the words that were written on his wall by his bed, though.

Tyler's eyes widened. "Don't..."

"Are these from one of yours? They're amazing." Patrick said over him, then bit his lip. "Sorry. Personal...right..."

Tyler didn't answer. Instead, he finished his cereal, unplugging his keyboard and carrying it with him downstairs  as he took his bowl down. He rested the keyboard against the wall near the door while he put his bowl in the kitchen.

Patrick was waiting when he came back from the kitchen.

The only pause Tyler made was to get his keyboard, then the two were on their way to Josh's.

Josh met them at the front door. "Hey guys. You ready, Ty?"

"As I'll ever be," Tyler said as Josh let them in, leading them to his own bedroom.

It took a minute for Tyler to get his keyboard settled and plugged in.

While this was going on, Patrick made himself comfortable on Josh's bed as the red haired male sat behind his drum set.

Tyler got his notebook out and flipped it to the page of the lyrics of the song he'd been working on.

"Wait..." Patrick said with wide eyes.

Tyler glanced at him before giving a shrug. "Yeah, sure...why not. You'll get to see one of my songs. We're just working out the actual music now,"

Patrick settled back with a grin. Tyler's eyes looked at Josh before he sighed. "Alright so...it isn't gonna be anything exciting on drums, likely."

"Just show me what you have and I'll work it out," Josh told Tyler with a wide smile.

Tyler nodded and he started playing without a word.

It didn't take long until Josh had a beat going. And Tyler was right - it wasn't super exciting as far as everything went, but he seemed to be having fun with what he had, experimenting a bit until it sounded _right._

Tyler's playing stopped abruptly and he grabbed a pencil from his bag before changing some of the lyrics on the page.

Josh stopped playing as well, watching curiously.

Tyler grinned, throwing his notebook to Patrick. "Read those," he said. "I need an opinion on someone who isn't Josh or me,"

Patrick looked startled, but didn't argue. He blinked. "This is the one you were just working on?" he asked.

This got a nod, and Patrick held Tyler's gaze for a moment before he returned his gaze to the lyrics. "I don't think I _want_ to know where it came from, but..."

Tyler took that as a good thing and moved to take the notebook back. Then he looked at Josh. "What you had the last bit was perfect," he told him.

Josh nodded. "Can't wait to actually hear the lyrics," he remarked. "You've got to be excited,"

"I am," Tyler said, but his nerves were in his voice.

Patrick hesitated. "I can go if you need..." he offered.

Tyler shook his head. "No, it's fine." he countered immediately. "I just...won't sing all of it. I don't have it all worked out yet anyway."

Still, when they had it worked out with the music, Tyler's voice joined the sound of the instruments, halfway drowned out by the drums.

" _Don't wanna call you in the nighttime,_

_don't wanna give you all my pieces,_

_don't wanna hand you all my trouble,_

_don't wanna give you all my demons._

_You'll have to watch me struggle from several rooms away_

_but tonight, I need you to stay."_

Josh stopped playing at this, staring at Tyler in surprise. 

Tyler raised his eyes to meet Josh's before he gave a weak smile.

"So...time to stop?"

Tyler nodded.

Patrick rolled his eyes fondly at the two, but didn't argue.

Josh ran a hand through his already messy hair before he sighed. "I'm thinking about dying it again," he told the two. "Different color this time,"

"Do blue," Tyler said immediately with a happy laugh. 

Patrick smiled as the two joined him on Josh's bed, settling down for a talk.

* * *

Roughly an hour after this, Tyler's smile disappeared as Blurry's voice echoed in his head. 

Josh immediately shot him a look. "You good?"

Tyler hesitated before he shook his head slowly.

Patrick frowned, but they didn't ask.

It took a bit for Tyler to shake it off and get back to the conversation.

"But it's really good, so...I mean, I've never personally read something that actually made me think like that did," Patrick was saying to Josh and Tyler rolled his eyes when he realized what was being discussed.

But it was all in good fun.

* * *

They spent the later part of the evening getting dye and bleach and re-dying Josh's hair baby blue. 

When it was done, Josh showed it off to the two, who were both happy with the outcome of the near hour of pouring over instructions and making sure they didn't make a huge mess.

"Looks nice, Jish." Tyler said with a happy grin.

"Thanks,"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where this chapter went, honestly.   
> I just wanted to do a cute thing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor warning: suicide attempt. "Off-screen", but...yeah.   
> Sorry.

"Ooh, new blood,"

That was the first thing Tyler heard Monday morning.

Patrick grinned at the worried look on Tyler's face at the voice coming from behind him. "C'mon, Brendon, don't scare him away now that he's alright with us!" he reprimanded.

Brendon dropped into an empty chair and grinned at Tyler. "It's been a while since we got a new face,"

"Are all of you insane?" Tyler deadpanned, looking from Brendon to the others at the table.

"Pretty much,"

This got a groan out of Tyler, but it was followed by an easy smile.

Josh introduced him, then spoke to Brendon. "Where've you been, anyway?"

Brendon shrugged. "Around."

Pete rolled his eyes. "With Dallon," he translated with a smile. "I don't see why you don't just invite him to hang with all of us,"

"He's not like the rest of us," Brendon pointed out.

Tyler let his thoughts drift as the banter started.

* * *

Things didn't get more exciting than that, for which Tyler found himself thankful for.

Lunch, however, worried Tyler. Pete was acting...off. He had been since Tyler's little freakout and it seemed like no one else actually noticed.

"Are you okay?" Tyler asked quietly under the talking of everyone else.

Pete heard him though and blinked at the brunette before he gave a sage smile and nodded. "Just fine, thanks,"

But the look in his eyes scared Tyler something awful. It reminded him of all the times Blurry had tried to talk him into ending it all.

_I'll bring it up tomorrow_ , Tyler decided as lunch ended, knowing he wouldn't see Pete again that day.

* * *

But tomorrow when he came in, Pete wasn't there. Tyler hesitated at the table before looking to Patrick, who was in a state.

"Everything okay?"

Josh shrugged. "Patrick's been panicking for a little bit. Pete isn't here. Sent a text at about two this morning saying he wouldn't be at school today, apparently."

Tyler felt his blood run slightly cold, but he just nodded. "Is he alright?"

Josh shrugged again, but he looked worried. "We tried calling but...no answer."

_Oh God....please no_ , Tyler thought, feeling slightly sick.

* * *

No news came until about lunch. Patrick came into lunch late, tears hiding in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Tyler said immediately. He knew that look, something bad had to have happened.

"Pete's in the hospital." Patrick said, his voice emotionless.

" _Fuck..._ "

It startled a few people to hear Tyler curse, since he was usually the one who didn't talk much.

* * *

They sent their well wishes with Patrick that afternoon.

"It just...wow..." Josh mumbled as Tyler and him headed towards their homes. "Pete's always..."

Tyler sighed softly. "I guess....a mask can hide a lot," he offered weakly.

**careful, Tyler. Don't need another catastrophe right now.**

For a change, Blurry's voice in his head was soothing. He wasn't trying to kill him, so Tyler wasn't bothered.

* * *

At dinner, Tyler's parents noticed the change in their son. He'd been happy recently, at least more open. Now, though, he was quiet and withdrawn as they all ate.

"What's wrong, honey?"

Tyler looked up at the sound of his mom's voice. "Nothing, Mom," he offered weakly.

"Uh-huh..."

The silence lasted until Tyler broke. "Pete tried to kill himself,"

* * *

And so, Tyler went to bed that night with Blurry's voice in his head comforting him, which was odd enough.

But he wasn't going to complain.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually started writing this chapter while I was at the library doing volunteer work.   
> Let me tell you, trying to do Blurry's stuff in bold using pencil and paper wasn't fun for me, since my writing stays really small.   
> Also, I have it worked out to where I'm outlining the different "characters" and their personalities as will be shown in this story, plus making notes as to their sexuality and gender identity, what pronouns they use, etc. That being said, if you want to see a certain thing, please let me know.

"He asked to be left alone," Patrick told them the next morning in the cafeteria before classes.

_He sounds wrecked,_ Tyler thought, frowning in concern. He'd never seen Patrick like this before.

He heard Josh say something, then Patrick break. Next thing he knew, he was sitting beside the distraught teen, his arm around Patrick's shoulder comfortingly with no idea what to do to make anything _better._

Blurry's voice sounded in Tyler's head a few times, telling him what to do or say when needed.

And it _helped_. Tyler had never been so happy that Blurry existed as he was in this instance.

* * *

The day that Pete came back to school, he looked almost happy, if a bit nervous to be back. 

Patrick immediately flew at him, tackling him in a hug. Of course, no one _blamed_ him. They were all exceedingly glad that Pete was okay.

Tyler met scared brown eyes and spoke once Pete was seated. "I'm glad you're okay,"

"Thanks, man." Pete said, voice sounding slightly relieved.

**He thought you hated him,** Blurry's voice sounded, nearly causing Tyler to jump.

As it was, Brendon showed up then, dragging a taller male along. "Thank fuck you're alright,"

His normally loud voice was much quieter as he spoke, sounding relieved. "Pat was a wreck and none of us knew how to help."

A new voice sounded then, calm and soothing. "Bren, don't. Don't guilt him. He probably feels bed enough without your assistance."

"Right."

Patrick spoke next. "You're Dallon, right?" he asked, looking at the person Brendon had drug over.

A nod.

Patrick smiled warmly, doing quick introductions and offering the taller male a seat.

"And Bren said you're all crazy heathens," Dallon said jokingly with a smile.

Tyler's shoulder's went up at 'crazy', but he said nothing, set on pretending it didn't bother him.

Dallon seemed to notice, though, and gave a grimance. "Sorry. Tyler, right?"

This got a nod from Tyler, and Josh threw them a look before going back to talking with Pete and Brendon.

"Sorry again. I know a lot of people don't like being referred to as...."

"It's fine," Tyler said with a shrug.

Patrick gave Tyler a bright grin at this, and the moved along.

Dallon looked over at Brendon, then spoke again. "Uh I don't...I don't mean to...offend anyone but...being around Gee and Bren....I prefer to ask just in case. Pronouns?" he asked, voice sounding slightly unsure if he was doing it right.

Brendon glanced at Dallon then and smiled. "Don't worry, Dal. The only one who I'm unsure of pronouns is Tyler. The rest of them are he/him," he told him.

Tyler nodded in agreement when Dallon looked back to him. "He/him. Thanks, though. I didn't know that was a thing,"

"Just wait until you meet Gee," Brendon said with a wide grin. "You'll learn all sorts of things,"

* * *

As it turned out, a lot of it was just to keep focus of Pete. Tyler was fine with that. 

Lunch that day, Pete was worrying the edges of a piece of paper with inked writing all over it.

When Patrick got to the table with his food, he frowned at Pete. "What's this?" he asked, nodding towards the paper.

"I...wrote a thing." Pete said with a hesitant shrug. "Asked Bren to help me with music for it 'cause....just...it's special and I want you to hear it, but it has to be _perfect,"_

Patrick gave him an easy smile. "That's fine, Pete. I look forward to hearing it,"

* * *

And so, a week later, the entire group found themselves being pulled outside at lunch on a nice day. 

Dallon and Brendon had joined them. Brendon had an acoustic guitar across his lap when they got there.

Pete gave a sigh, but nodded in agreement to the questioning look he was given.

Patrick seemed surprised that Pete was doing this at school in front of the group, but he didn't question it.

Once everyone was settled, Pete spoke. "I was gonna do this after Halloween so I had time but..." he looked down. "Frank's having his birthday party, and I didn't want to ruin a good party with a song like this,"

Tyler smiled kindly at Pete when he saw the bassist looking between faces.

"Most of you know this already. Tyler, you don't."

Tyler blinked, smile gone.

Pete gave a weak laugh at this. "Nothing bad. Just thought you should know. I've got bipolar disorder."

"Oh. Okay," Tyler said, relaxing.

They all ate before Pete worked up the nerve to actually sing the song.

Brendon's playing was quiet, just enough that Pete wasn't doing it a capella, showing that it wasn't down in stone for the music for the song.

Pete's voice was nice, Tyler mused as he started singing. More than anything, he saw Patrick's reaction.

That's what this was for - it was for Patrick. That was obvious by the way Pete kept his focus mostly on Patrick as he sang.

_"I've got troubled thoughts, and the self esteem to match_

_watch a catch, watch a catch._

_And all I can think of is the way_

_I'm the one who charmed the one who gave up on you. "_

Patrick's eyes were sad, but he was smiling, Tyler saw. Pete gave his own small smile in response to Patrick's. 

_"I will never end up like him_

_behind my back, I already am._

_Keep a calendar, this way you will always know."_

Pete let his voice end there, and silence lapsed over the group before Patrick let out a shaky laugh. 

"What was that about?"

Pete met Patrick's blue eyes before he grinned. "Just a promise I'm making that I intend to keep," he said calmly. "I won't put you through this again, Patrick."

Tyler glanced away as the two hugged, feeling a bit like an intruder on such an intimate moment.

Josh noticed and chuckled, but said nothing.

* * *

As lunch ended, Tyler smiled to himself. 

_Maybe eventually I'll be brave enough to tell them my own secret,_ he thought, ignoring the dark chuckle Blurry gave in response.

* * *

At the end of school, Brendon called out to him as Josh and him left. "Hey Tyler! You going to Frank's party Halloween or not?"

Tyler paused to give Brendon a confused look. "I wasn't invited," he responded when Brendon had stopped next to them.

"You were," Josh said. "Brendon wouldn't have brought it up otherwise. Frank's a good guy. He always tells us to invite any newbies we befriend if he's having a party,"

Tyler hesitated before he shrugged. "I'll talk to my parents about it, but I should be able to go. I'll text you with the definite?"

"Sure thing!" Brendon said with a cheerful grin. "Later, guys!"

Tyler shook his head as him and Josh continued on their way home. "Is he ever calm?"

Josh laughed. "Never. He doesn't take medication for his ADHD," he responded. "He used to, back in middle school, but he was miserable. Nobody complained when he stopped, even the teachers,"

"Must've been pretty bad then," Tyler commented seriously.

* * *

 

Josh accompanied him home that evening.

"Hi, Mrs. Joseph!" Josh said happily as the entered, Tyler disappearing to take their bags upstairs.

By the time Tyler got back, Josh was already talking happily with her, making the brunette grin.

"Oh, mom!" Tyler said when he remembered. "I told Brendon I'd get him a definite answer. One of his friends is having a party on Halloween. Can I go?"

Mrs. Joseph missed a beat, staring at her son in surprise before she smiled happily. "Sure, I don't see a problem. Just let your dad or me know if you're not coming home, and _be careful._ "

Tyler grinned happily, thanking her as he typed the answer out to Brendon.

Josh laughed. "Oh, he'll be perfectly safe. Frank's always sure that everyone's safe, and he'll be with Brendon, Pete, Patrick and me. We'll keep a close eye on him, I promise."

* * *

The two ended up playing video games until Josh had to leave. 

Tyler fell asleep content that night, feeling like his life was finally going right.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to be slow about this, introduce characters in a comprehensive way so that I can keep track.   
> It's not going as well as I want it to, though.   
> Song is "What A Catch, Donnie", in case someone doesn't know.   
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

When Tyler entered the cafeteria Monday, it was to soft conversation at his friend group's table, and to Brendon's quiet singing.

He raised an eyebrow at this, and Dallon gave him a kind smile. "Morning, Tyler," he greeted.

"Good morning," Tyler murmured.

Dallon shook his head. "Bren's having a bit of a rough day," he commented. "He sings a lot when he's stressed out. He'll be alright."

"New song, too," Pete remarked. "It's been a while since he's had a new one."

Tyler hummed in understanding. But Brendon's lyrics had caught his attention. Everyone knew it too, because Tyler had his gaze focused on Brendon, who's head was tilted down, fingers tapping out a beat as he sang.

_"It's better to burn than to fade away;_

_it's better to leave than to be replaced."_

Tyler threw a look over at the rest of the group, worry clear in his eyes.

Dallon sighed. "Don't worry about it," he commented quietly, moving to talk in whispers to Brendon.

The lack of singing left the group quiet.

"On a different note," Patrick started, eyes locked on Tyler. "How are you doing today? I know it was a game of back and forth Friday,"

Tyler rolled his eyes. "I'm alright," he said easily.

* * *

Come lunch, Dallon looked exhausted.

"He can't even do sad calmly," he remarked when Tyler gave him a half worried, half amused look.

Tyler grinned in response. "Of course not. It's Brendon,"

"Fair point,"

When things settled, Dallon spoke. "Alright. Tyler. Tell me about yourself. I know how the rest of these guys work by now thanks to Bren. But I don't know anything about you besides what little I've gotten from everyone else."

Tyler hesitated. "Uh...nothing really interesting to tell you," he tried, shrugging.

Dallon laughed. "I don't believe that for a second. There's got to be something,"

"He writes music," Josh offered. "Some really deep shit from what I've seen and heard, too."

This got grins from Dallon and Brendon, who seemed better now than he had that morning.

"That _is_ interesting," Brendon said happily. "Wanna share, Tyler?"

Tyler went slightly red, shaking his head. "I'll pass, thanks,"

Brendon went to say something, but Dallon shook his head, shooting him a look. "Quit it, Bren," he warned. "It could be personal, like with you and a lot of your songs,"

This made the excitable teen drop the topic, and thankfully, they both moved on.

"Sorry, Ty." Josh said quietly. "I didn't think Brendon'd jump on it,"

Tyler shrugged. "It's fine. You're just doing what I'm not brave enough to,"

* * *

" _Are you searching for a purpose/then write something, yeah it might be worthless/paint something, yeah it might be wordless./Pointless curses, nonsense verses./You'll see purpose start to surface/No one else is dealing with your demons, meaning maybe defeating them could be the beginning of your meaning, friend."  
_

Tyler jumped at the voice reading over his shoulder. He was kind of regretting deciding to hang out with the entire group, including those he didn't yet know - Gerard, Mikey, and Frank.

It was Brendon's voice reading out, too, meaning everyone else there heard.

"Brendon!" Josh snapped, giving him a dark look. "Leave Tyler alone,"

"I'm not bothering you, am I, Tyjo?"

Tyler gave Brendon a look before he huffed. "Not really, but I'd appreciate warning next time you _read my lyrics out for the world to hear,"_ he said, voice much lower than he usually pitched it out of frustration.

Brendon stared at him in surprise before nodding and apologizing. "I'll hand you the lyrics to one of my personal ones to make up for it, okay?"

Tyler shrugged.

"Well....the lyrics are interesting, at least," Pete offered, trying to make Tyler relax again.

"Thanks..."

Tyler took a while longer to settled back down with the group.

But it was obvious to everyone that he wasn't happy like he had been.

**They're gonna catch on, eventually. And then you'll be all alone. _Again._ But you're used to that aren't you, _Tyler?_**

Blurry's voice was the last thing Tyler wanted to hear at that moment, and of course, it was the only thing that echoed in his mind. Not lyrics like he was trying to write. Just Blurry feeding his fear and insecurity.

And now that the crisis with Pete was over, _he_ was back two fold.

Without a thought, Tyler's hand moved across his neck before moving to pull at his short hair.

"Ty?" Josh's voice broke through the haze. "Ty, you alright, man?"

Tyler gave a nod, but he wasn't looking at Josh, and his hand hadn't left his hair.

Brendon stared in horror at the state that Tyler was in. He shrunk down a little bit, his usual smile out of sight. "Is this my fault?" he asked quietly, looking between Tyler and the others of the group.

Patrick shook his head, but couldn't keep his own concern from showing. "No, he gets like this sometimes. Never seen it happen, though. Josh has told us about him rubbing at his neck sometimes, but..."

Tyler lifted chocolate eyes to look at them before he looked up at Josh, who was sitting beside him.

"You good?"

Tyler nodded, Blurry's voice fading, replaced by Josh's. "Sorry.."

This got a shake of the head.

* * *

The group didn't stay subdued long, and before they knew it, they were having to split ways.

Josh waved as Tyler headed into his home, immediately locking himself in his room.

"Tyler, sweetie, dinner time,"

Tyler glanced at his closed door before he spoke. "Not hungry, mom."

A moment's pause before he heard his mom speak again. "Do you need to talk?"

No answer came from Tyler, so the door opened.

A soft sigh came from his mom when she saw him curled up over a notebook in the corner of his bed. "Is he back?"

"He never left," Tyler told her quietly.

The bed shifted when his mom sat on the edge of it, eyes trained on her son's face. "Do your friends know?"

Tyler shook his head. "No. I've been....I'm scared to tell them..."

His mom gave him a faint smile. "I'm sure they'll understand, sweetie. I'll put you a plate in the microwave, just in case you want to eat something later," she said, voice calming.

Tyler nodded. But he knew he'd spend the night pouring over a new song. He just wanted Blurry to leave.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. I've been writing a lot. I don't know why. I'm just in a mood to write. It'll happen like this sometimes - multiple chapters posted in a day - and sometimes I just won't post for a few days. It depends on how many ideas I have that won't leave me alone.

No one said anything about Tyler's little meltdown.

They didn't say anything about Tyler staying buried in his lyrics, either.

Of course, they were worried about him, but they wouldn't force him to talk to them.

In fact, the most communication Tyler gave was Frank's party, where he talked to the group, wished Frank a happy birthday, and goofed off with the rest of them.

But immediately after, he closed back down.

It was extremely frustrating to them that they couldn't help him.

But he seemed content to do this alone.

Josh got increasingly worried the more he saw Tyler throw pages away. He knew it was the same song he'd been working on since after his meltdown, and it was worrying that Tyler couldn't get a song that he felt was good enough to keep.

He wasn't sure why, though.

* * *

**Oh, come on, Tyler, you know that isn't good enough.** Blurry's voice taunted, full of venom. 

Tyler was ignoring the happy conversation going on around him at lunch, instead pouring over the song he'd been working on. He let out a low growl at the taunts echoing in his head, fisting his free hand into his hair and staring at the lyrics staring up lifelessly from the page.

The noise and movement had gotten the attention of the others, though.

"You okay, Tyler?" Patrick asked softly, voice concerned.

"I'm fine," Tyler said, but his voice was tired and shaky.

Josh sighed, moving to take the book away.

Tyler immediately raised his eyes to glare at him. "Leave it," he said, voice suddenly icy.

And just like that, Josh's hands moved to where they were held up in surrender. "Fine. I'll leave it. But you have to tell us why this song is so damned important that you're torturing yourself for it,"

**Maybe because a cry for help is the hardest thing to do? Isn't that right? It's so hard that you _can't do it._**

As Blurry's voice echoed in his thoughts, Tyler's eyes lit up, losing their coldness and immediately jotting down a couple more lines, ignoring the rage that he felt from Blurry.

"It's important because it's going to be the first one I share to someone who doesn't know how my mind works," Tyler said as he wrote, mentally adding _not including Patrick and you_.

* * *

It was about two weeks before Winter break before Tyler got it. He finished it at about two in the morning and immediately sent a text to Josh. 

_to: Jishwa_

_2:08 a.m._

_its done, fren. bringing keyboard tmrrw._

And with that, he fell asleep. 

* * *

When he entered the school building with his keyboard tucked under one arm, Josh grinned at him from the side of the entry-way, taking the instrument from Tyler. "Everyone's outside the band room right now," he said happily. "They're excited to hear the song, so I told them that I'd bring you there and we'd figure out when you want to do it."

"Lunch, definitely," Tyler said, nerves present in his voice.

**Time to back out.**

Everyone else seemed kind of bummed that they had to wait until lunch. Even more so when they realized it meant that Tyler wasn't going to be up to talking until it was all over with.

Josh was understanding, though, which made Tyler happy.

* * *

And so, come lunch, the entire group found themselves outside the band room again, glad it was deserted by everyone else in favor of food. 

Tyler was more nervous now than he had been that morning, his hands not able to stay still.

"Must be special," Patrick remarked as he eyed Tyler's moving hands where they were currently tugging at short hair.

Tyler met his eyes, his own panicked.

It didn't take long for the group to settle.

Brendon was calm for a change, watching Tyler intently.

Tyler looked to Josh before he sighed.

**Ready to be alone again? That's what's gonna happen. They'll find out about me, they'll find out that you're _insane_ and they'll leave.**

And if Tyler flinched, no one said anything, because he immediately started playing.

Blurry continued to taunt him as his voice joined the sound of the keyboard.

Josh found himself adding a beat absently as he listened. The lyrics were haunting. It made sense that Tyler had spent so long on them now.

" _I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath._

_I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath._

_I want to be known by you.."_

Tyler didn't dare raise his eyes as he did this. But he could feel everyone watching him, he could still hear Blurry's voice. 

" _Though I'm weak_

_And beaten down_

_I'll slip away into the sound._

_The ghost of you is close to me_

_I'm inside out, you're underneath."_

Patrick watched Tyler in surprise. The one other bit of a song he'd heard Tyler sing was nothing like this one. 

Tyler finally lifted his eyes and glanced over the group, giving a weak smile before returning his gaze to the keys.

_"I've got two faces...Blurry's the one I'm not._

_I need your help to take him out."_

Josh looked a bit startled, Patrick noticed. And he couldn't blame him. He saw Tyler's eyes clench closed the second he sang these lines. 

_It's personal._ Tyler's voice saying these words came back to Patrick and he frowned. This was definitely personal on a scary level.

But Josh didn't react further, instead keeping his light beat going on his leg.

Tyler smiled faintly at the sound, nodding at him in thanks.

_"Don't let me be gone.."_

Patrick shared a look with Josh when Tyler let his voice fade slowly. 

This wasn't like anything he'd ever heard. It was emotional and soft, and he was wondering when it was going to break.

As soon as the thought had passed through his head, though, Tyler's voice got louder again, sounding like he was shouting.

_"Don't let me be."_

Brendon blinked at the sudden change, but Josh didn't pause, instead picking up the beat on his leg to match the tempo Tyler was playing on the keyboard. 

Tyler's playing stopped suddenly after that, and Josh watched as his friend moved to lean against the wall before sliding down it, staring at the group.

"You okay?" Patrick asked softly after a moment. "That was...emotional..."

Tyler nodded in answer, seeming hesitant to speak.

"Personal....Tyler?" Josh said suddenly.

Tyler hummed in askance, seemingly dreading the conversation that was about to happen as the group moved to sit near him.

"Where did that come from?" Josh asked, voice serious.

Tyler laughed weakly, tapping the side of his head.

"Obviously," Josh said amid the soft laughs from the group. "What I mean is....' _I've got two faces, Blurry's the one I'm not'_. I've never heard or read anything like that from you."

The concern in Josh's voice made everyone sober up.

Tyler leaned his head back, running a hand across his throat as Blurry's voice echoed in his head. "I...uh....my...my insecurities and anxieties and....all that negative shit...It all kinda....formed a character in my head. It happened when I was little....my parents pulled me out and...started referring to the voice feeding me all the negative shit Blurryface. It's.....I know I sound stupid or crazy or..."

**That's because you are, Tyler.**

Josh saw Tyler's minuscule flinch and nodded. "Is he talking to you now?"

Tyler's eyes flashed in shock, Josh noticed. But he got a slow nod.

"Good. Then you can tell him he can kindly fuck off," Josh said with an easy smile. "You're one of us now. No need for such a demon,"

Tyler stared at him for a moment before he looked at everyone else. He didn't see any negativity in their eyes. Acceptance and worry, mostly.

And of course, this set Tyler off. Tears blurred his vision and fell quickly, causing Patrick to panic. "No, oh god, don't cry," he said, his voice sounding lost.

Everyone else let him handle it, but Tyler could tell they were worried.

"'m fine, 'Trick," Tyler choked out.

Brendon spoke then. "You've never told anyone before have you?"

Tyler shook his head. "Not besides my parents..."

And suddenly, it was all clear. Gerard was the next to speak. "You thought we would abandon you for this, didn't you?"

No answer came, but it was obvious that he had.

Josh sighed, throwing an arm around Tyler's shoulders. "You can't get rid of us that easy. You're one of us,"

"Thanks guys,"

* * *

His mom asked how it went over when Tyler came home. Tyler gave her a faint smile. "They were really accepting. Worried but...."

"I'm glad you've found friends who accept you, Tyler, sweetie,"

"Yeah...me too."

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit longer of a chapter.   
> I hope you enjoy it.   
> The song used in it is "I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)".  
> No, I didn't bother to find a song that Patrick wrote alone.   
> It's one in the morning, I wasn't up to the research. I'm sorry.

One week from Winter break, Tyler found himself sinking into a familiar routine that he hadn't realized he'd missed when he shut himself away from everyone.

Frank and the Way siblings had been joining them pretty regularly, as well, which meant that Tyler had gotten the chance to get to know them a bit more.

As such, he'd started learning their habits to make it easier on himself to tell if something was wrong - he wasn't really aware he was even doing it until it changed suddenly.

Frank was always the last one there of the three, but they were always there when Tyler got there.

And so when Tyler walked in to see only Frank there out of the three, he started getting concerned. He gave an easy smile to everyone as he sat down. "Morning," he offered.

"Gee and Mikey said they'd be here soon. They got held up at home this morning," Frank told Tyler not long after the greetings had been exchanged.

Tyler nodded, relaxing a good bit.

Conversation was easy with the group, and it was a relief to be able to joke and laugh with everyone without worry of being left behind.

And so, an angry voice was enough to startle Tyler when it sounded.

"It's fucking _bullshit,_ Gee, so quit acting like you're fine with it!"

"Oh no..." Patrick murmured, looking over at Frank for a moment in question.

Frank shook his head as the Way siblings sat with them.

Something was off, Tyler noticed, and immediately looked over the two. Mikey had his masks down and looked _pissed_ , which was strange. But Gerard was what caught his attention.

Gerard was usually really open with who he was and genuinely didn't give a shit who had a problem with it. So to see him dressed so muted and for him to be so subdued...

Tyler gave him a frown. "Everything okay?"

Gerard nodded in agreement to this, but Mikey growled at him for doing so. "No, everything is not _okay_."

Frank glanced at Tyler and spoke quietly. "Let them have it out," he suggested. "It's the only way that things will get better. I'll assume there's family over?"

This last bit was directed to Mikey and Gerard.

Gerard huffed, but nodded. "Yeah, there is. Visiting to get ready for holidays,"

Frank nodded, giving Gerard a frown. "Then ignore them, Gee. They don't matter,"

"I don't want to cause a fucking fight," Gerard snapped, giving Frank a dark look, hazel eyes dangerous.

Tyler hesitated before he dropped out of the conversation and turned his attention to the others who were trying to do anything but get involved.

 Pete gave him an understanding smile, then went back to talking to Patrick over a piece of paper.

Then suddenly, Patrick started singing quietly, eyes moving over the paper, letting Tyler know that it was a song they were working on.

_"Fight off the light tonight and just stay with me._

_Honey, don't you leave._

_Don't you remember how we used to split a drink?_

_It never mattered what it was,"_

"Sound okay?"

Pete nodded in agreement. "Sounds perfect," he commented with an easy grin.

Tyler smiled faintly at the interaction.

Brendon rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, you two are adorable," he deadpanned. "Very cute."

"We're not together," Patrick told him calmly, eyes never leaving the pieces of paper sitting in front of him and Pete.

Brendon gave a shrug. "Doesn't mean feelings aren't there, isn't that right Pete?"

Pete was glaring holes through Brendon.

Tyler raised an eyebrow at this, looking over at Josh for answers.

Josh caught the questioning gaze and shrugged, rolling his eyes.

The brunette knew that Josh would tell him in first hour English.

* * *

By the time first hour rolled around, Pete wasn't talking to Brendon or Patrick, Dallon was frustrated with Brendon, and Mikey had calmed down.

"What's with them?" Tyler asked as Josh and him walked to their first class.

Josh sighed. "Pete has a crush on Patrick, but he won't _tell_ Patrick that because he doesn't want to ruin their friendship. Brendon loves playing match maker, but he's also very....he's not been happy-happy like he was since Ryan. Then Gee and Mikey have family in town staying with them that don't know about Gee and aren't very supportive,"

Tyler let out a huff. "Sounds like a blast. Patrick's gonna be upset. Pete'll keep brushing him off, wont he?"

"Until he sees how much damage he's causing, yeah."

* * *

At lunch, the group was split. Pete sat off by himself, Brendon and Dallon had drifted off and weren't even in the cafeteria, and Frank and the Way siblings were at a different table.

Patrick looked slightly put out by this, but Tyler could see he was trying hard not to let it bother him by working on another song.

"Anything good?" Tyler asked softly.

Patrick glanced up at him before he shrugged. "Maybe," he offered.

Tyler let him work in silence for a good while longer.

Then suddenly, their table wasn't quiet anymore.

"God fucking damn it!"

Tyler's eyes flew to Patrick in surprise. He'd never heard the shorter male get like this before.

Of course, he noticed Pete had moved to see what was wrong.

"'Trick?"

Patrick ignored him, though.

Josh nodded quietly, getting up and grabbing his and Tyler's things. "C'mon, Ty..."

Tyler hesitated. "What?"

"Give him some space," Josh said softly. "He doesn't like us seeing him when he gets like this. Let Pete handle it,"

Tyler nodded, letting himself be led away. "Is...he...okay?"

Josh nodded. "Yeah, he's fine. He's just....he gets like that sometimes,"

* * *

Patrick wasn't there for the next couple days.

Pete disappeared at lunch both days to check on him.

When he came back, he apologized to Tyler for his outburst, and seemed like his normal self again.

"It's fine," Tyler promised with a kind smile. "Happen to finish what you were working on?"

Patrick gave him a knowing smile. "As it has it...no. I didn't finish that one. I did finish a different one, though."

Brendon and Dallon joined them then.

"Morning, guys," Dallon greeted happily.

"Oh, no...I know that tone," Pete said, looking at Dallon. "Did you...?"

Brendon was grinning, but he said nothing.

Patrick smiled at the two. "Congrats, you two."

Josh was smiling as well, Tyler noticed. He looked between everyone else before he spoke. "Uh....can someone fill me in...?"

Brendon met Tyler's eyes before he took Dallon's hand in his own.

Tyler's eyes tracked the movement before he gave an understanding smile and nodded.

* * *

"I'm really glad this happened." Josh told Tyler as they left first hour. "It'll be nice to see Brendon so happy with someone,"

Tyler nodded in agreement. "It really will. Besides, Dallon seems to balance him out a good bit, doesn't he?"

Josh laughed. "That he does,"

* * *

Come lunch, Patrick was smiling happily and joking with everyone.

Then, as soon as the group had settled down again, he spoke. "I uh....I have a song I want everyone to hear,"

"Wait, what? Really?" Pete said in surprise, grinning.

Patrick nodded. "Seems to be a thing with this group, doesn't it? Sharing our music?"

"That's true," Tyler mused with an easy smile. "I can't wait to hear it, Patrick. I'm sure it'll be wonderful."

"Thanks, Tyler,"

* * *

"This is a _huge_ thing for Patrick. He only ever shares his music with Pete and Andy." Josh told Tyler as they sat in Tyler's room.

"Who's..."

Josh gave him an understanding smile. "Andy Hurley. He's close friends with Patrick and is really nice. A bit quiet, but...I know him because we sometimes will meet up and go back and forth with different drum beats and just hang out,"

This got a nod from Tyler.

"You'll meet him when Patrick does his thing, I'm sure."

* * *

So when Tyler woke up at three Monday morning to a message from Patrick, he yawned but answered it.

_From: Patrick_

_2:58 am_

_Tmrrw._

_To: Patrick_

_3:01 am_

_sick as frick. cant wait_

* * *

 

"Excited?" Tyler asked as he joined the group in the cafeteria before first hour.

"Nervous, but excited," Patrick answered with an understanding smile. "Always like this?"

Tyler nodded with a sigh. "I was a nervous wreck before I showed you guys my song,"

Patrick laughed. "Good news is, today's the last day before break,"

This got happy remarks from everyone else.

* * *

Of course, come lunch, everyone gathered what they'd brought with them and met in front of the band room again to find Pete and Patrick already sitting there with someone else.

"Hey, Andy," Josh greeted happily as the group found seats.

"Who are we waiting on?" Pete asked softly.

Tyler frowned. "Brendon, I think," he said, glancing around. "He said he'd be here in a minute, went home to get a guitar for you, Patrick,"

Patrick smiled happily. "Oh good. I forgot mine at home this morning because of nerves."

Josh was quick to introduce Tyler to Andy, and the group settled into talking while they waited on Brendon.

When he came through, he handed Patrick an acoustic guitar and sat down with Dallon, smiling as the taller male wrapped his arms around him.

Tyler smiled at the scene before turning his eyes to Patrick, who had immediately set to check the tuning on the guitar.

It took a moment before Patrick looked up at everyone again.

Pete gave him a supportive grin.

Tyler hid his smile when he saw Patrick relax at this, his attention shifting to the song when Patrick started playing guitar.

Everyone was quiet, listening happily, glad that Patrick was choosing to share the song with them.

Patrick's voice was deeper than Tyler expected, a lot more emotional and soulful. It fit him, though.

_"Joke me something awful, just like kisses on the necks of 'best friends'_

_We're the kids who feel like dead ends_

_And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses_

_I took a shot and didn't even come close_

_at trust and love and hope_

_And the poets are just kids who didn't make it_

_and never had it at all."_

Tyler grinned at the lyrics. They were _amazing_. He didn't miss the happiness in Pete's expression as he listened, either.

_"We can fake it for the airwaves,_

_force our smiles, baby, half dead_

_from comparing myself to everyone else around me."_

And just like that, Tyler felt the entire meaning shift in the song.

He saw the surprise flicked across expressions of their friends, he saw the concern leaking into the happiness of Pete's expression.

But Patrick threw a wild grin up at them.

_"I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough_

_but we never had it at all."_

He stopped there, and looked down.

"That was amazing," Tyler said after a beat of silence.

Patrick gave him a happy grin. "Thanks,"

And then, suddenly, the guitar was in Andy's hands and Patrick was sprawled on the floor with Pete lying half on top of him.

This got a good bit of laughter from the entire group.

Patrick was laughing as well. "Pete! Off!"

Pete sat up, his grin beaming, and kissed the shorter male's cheek before moving to his seat again.

But it had shocked Patrick enough that he'd frozen, staring at the bassist in surprise.

"What...?" Pete asked, noticing the expression on Patrick's face.

Tyler's eyebrows furrowed and he looked over at Josh, who shook his head slowly.

"You...." Patrick let his words trail off, looking lost in thought.

And then it hit Pete what he'd done.

Tyler only knew this because he saw Pete's grin disappear, replaced with an expression that suggested he wanted to sink into the floor.

"I think we should give them some time, guys," Dallon said softly, standing and pulling Brendon up with him.

Tyler and Josh were some of the last to leave.

Tyler threw a look back through the windowed doors to see Pete moving to sit beside Patrick, expression concerned.

"Should we worry?"

Josh smiled faintly. "I doubt it."

* * *

By the end of the day, everyone was on edge to know what had happened between Pete and Patrick.

But they didn't want to ask.

Instead, they waited for news from one of them, doing their best not to look too curious if they were around either of the boys.

Then, during the last half hour of classes, Tyler's phone lit up.

He glanced at it, seeing a message from Patrick.

_From: Patrick_

_2:50 pm_

_so....pete asked me out._

He threw a glance around before he responded, asking Patrick what his response had been, knowing that Patrick wouldn't tell him something unless he was comfortable with Tyler knowing it.

He got a response just as school let out, just the word 'yes'.

Tyler grinned, running off to find his friend.

As soon as he found him, out on the sidewalk near the student lot, he nearly tackled him in a hug. "I'm so happy for you, 'Trick!" he said happily.

Patrick smiled, returning the hug.

They waited for the rest of the group to get out there as well, wanting to give each other their well-wishes for the holiday in person before they all left.

Brendon gave Patrick a knowing smile. "Pete told Dallon and me in history," he commented.

Patrick nodded.

And if anyone didn't know, they didn't bother to ask.

They didn't have to. As soon as Pete got there, he moved to lean against Patrick's car, intertwining his fingers with Patrick's happily.

* * *

Of course, by the time Tyler got home, he was perfectly content.

"Good day at school?" he heard his dad ask.

Tyler hummed in agreement, thankful no further questions were asked and he could go to his room.


	10. Chapter 10

The first week of break went rather well for Tyler. He kept in touch with his friends, but spent a lot of time on songs as well, mostly figuring out music to old lyrics.

About two days before Christmas, though, Tyler woke up to Blurry's voice in his head.

He hadn't heard from Blurry since the group found out, hadn't had a reason for Blurry to be there.

And so, waking up to the familiar, dark voice was terrifying.

And as much as he tried to ignore it, he couldn't.

**Did you think I was gone? Miss me, Tyler?**

Tyler looked around the room before grabbing his phone, Josh's voice echoing in his head. He hoped the offer still stood to call him if he needed him.

But as soon as Josh answered the phone, Tyler regretted it. He sounded tired.

"Sorry, I woke you up...I'm sorry." Tyler said, voice quiet.

It caught Josh's attention though. " _What's wrong, Ty? Is...."_

" _He_ came back," Tyler bit out, fingers tangling into his hair and tugging lightly out of habit.

He heard Josh curse and start moving. " _Give me ten minutes,"_

Tyler couldn't argue with him, either, because what followed was the call ending.

And so, ten minutes later, on the dot, Tyler heard his mom's voice greet Josh.

Next thing he knew, Josh was sitting with him, talking quietly.

But Tyler couldn't focus on what was being said to him. Blurry made sure of it.

**He's only here because he pities you. They all do. You think they could _really_ care about someone like _you?_**

Tyler let out a low whimper.

Josh stopped talking, but only to pull Tyler into a hug. "Ignore him, Ty. He's not important,"

Tyler buried his head in Josh's shoulder, his senses in overload.

* * *

It took about twenty minutes for Tyler to calm down, even after Blurry stopped talking to him. 

Once Tyler moved to get away from Josh, the drummer let his arms fall from around Tyler.

But he still gave him a worried look. "You good?"

Tyler nodded. "Sorry for dragging you out...."

Josh shook his head, giving an amused smile. "Don't worry about it. I said I'd come if you needed me, and I meant it,"

"Thanks.." Tyler said quietly.

Just then, Tyler's mom's voice sounded from the doorway. "Everything okay?"

Tyler met her gaze before he nodded, giving a small smile.

"Alright," She said softly, giving an understanding smile to Tyler. "You're welcome to stay for breakfast, Josh,"

Josh gave her a happy smile. "Thanks, Mrs. Joseph."

Once she was gone, Josh returned his attention to Tyler. "So...you sure you're good?"

Tyler nodded in agreement to this. "I'm alright. Sorry,"

"Stop apologizing," Josh told him with a laugh. "C'mon, show me what you've been working on. We have time to waste,"

Tyler gave an easy smile, falling into routine of sharing his music with Josh. He wasn't sure why, but he felt safe showing his work to Josh.

* * *

On the way down to the dining room for breakfast, Josh got to talking. "So, apparently, Pete's having this big Christmas thing for the group. We don't usually do them because family and people leaving for holiday. But Brendon's coming back from visiting his extended family the day after Christmas, so Pete decided that he'd do one this year,"

Tyler nodded. "Sounds fun," he commented happily.

"I'm sure he'll send you all the details as soon as he has them worked out." Josh told him. "He'll be going insane planning for the next few days,"

This got a nod from Tyler.

* * *

Breakfast was calm, but it was exactly what Tyler needed that morning. 

Of course, he could've gone without his siblings questioning Josh.

"I'm so sorry for them," Tyler said when the two were back in his room.

Josh shook his head. "It's fine," he said with an easy smile. "Your family is really nice,"

"Yeah, they are," Tyler agreed with a smile of his own.

* * *

Josh left at about noon, and Tyler went back to his music, feeling much better than he had when he woke up. 

* * *

At about eight that evening, he got a text from Pete. 

He glanced at it before smiling.

_Party @ mine on the 29th. Josh is bringin u._

Tyler rolled his eyes, texting back and asking if he needed to bring anything.

A simple 'no' came through, and Tyler nodded quietly.

* * *

"So, apparently you're coming with me to Pete's for his Christmas party." Josh told Tyler the day after Christmas when he came over to break in one of his new games. 

Tyler smiled faintly in response, closing the front door behind the drummer. "So he told me," he said with a laugh. "Sounds like it'll be a blast,"

Josh nodded in agreement. "Just...word of advice," he started with an easy grin as he pulled his coat off. "Pete's notorious for setting up a bunch of mistletoe. And the group is very serious about tradition with it. Watch where you go,"

"Sounds like you know from experience," Tyler responded.

Josh laughed. "My first time going to Pete's Christmas party. I didn't get the warning. I didn't even know the girl who decided to save me from the group's wrath,"

Tyler nodded in understanding.

* * *

And so, first thing Tyler did when Josh and him got to Pete's on the 29th was look around carefully. 

"I see Josh gave you the warning,"

Brendon's voice startled him, Tyler had to admit. But he gave a wry smile and nodded. "Yeah. I'm glad he did. You guys can be vicious, I bet,"

This got a laugh out of Brendon.

Josh smiled faintly at this. "I didn't want him to get caught and have to be saved by someone he didn't know," he remarked with a shrug, leading Tyler to Pete's living room.

"You made it!" Pete said happily, grinning at the two where he was cuddling Patrick contentedly on one of the couches.

Tyler nodded in agreement. "Wouldn't miss it." he remarked.

Patrick glanced up from the notebook he was writing in to grin at Tyler and Josh. "How was your Christmas, guys?"

Tyler grinned. "Pretty good. What about yours?"

Patrick rolled his eyes. "I keep forgetting how obsessed with the holiday my family gets,"

This got a bit of laughter, then Patrick's eyes turned serious and worried. "You alright, Tyler? Josh told us you had a bit of trouble a couple days before Christmas,"

Tyler wanted to be upset by this, but he was glad Josh had told them. He gave a nod. "I'm fine." he replied with a shrug.

* * *

Once everyone had arrived, Patrick pulled his attention away from what he was writing again to talk to people. 

Tyler stayed back, observing cautiously.

Josh had ventured off to talk to people he knew, and eventually made his way back around to Tyler. "You just going to sit there?"

"I was thinking about it," Tyler admitted.

Josh laughed. "No, come on. I have someone I want you to meet," he said.

Tyler sighed, but got up and let Josh lead him through the crowd.

"Debby!" Josh called out over chatter.

A girl with light brown hair turned, catching sight of Josh and grinning. "Back again, Josh?"

Josh nodded. "Wouldn't miss one of Pete's parties for the world," he commented. "Debby, this is Tyler. He's the newbie to the usual group. Tyler, this is Debby. She's the one who saved my ass first Christmas party I came to,"

Tyler gave her an easy smile, offering her a soft hello that was lost in the rest of the voices.

Debby nodded in return. "Nice to meet you!" she said happily.

A sudden bit of laughter sounded behind them and Josh glanced back before he laughed. "I see no one gave Dallon any warning about how Pete decorates,"

When Tyler went back to his seat, it was to see Patrick writing again. "Anything good?"

Patrick looked up at Tyler before he grinned. "Maybe," he responded. "I don't know, it's something to do. I'm not big on these huge parties, honestly,"

"Good, I'm not the only one feeling out of place here, then," Tyler said, sounding relieved.

"Why'd you come if you weren't comfortable?" Patrick said, immediately worried.

Tyler shrugged. "Sounded like it'd be fun, so I figured I'd tough it out."

"God damn it, Pete!"

Josh's voice echoed through the area and Tyler glanced back only to laugh. "Doesn't follow his own warning,"

Patrick laughed faintly. "Josh doesn't scout areas before he walks," he commented. "He's so easy to catch. Every year, Pete catches him. He's sneaky about how he decorates, solely so Josh doesn't learn the areas that are clear."

The two watched as Brendon gave a good natured grin to Josh, grabbing one of his hands to kiss his knuckles before shoving the drummer towards the couches.

Josh was still frowning when he sat down with Patrick and Tyler.

"Still haven't learned," Patrick said teasingly.

Josh huffed, but gave an amused smile. "You'd think I'd have learned, right?"

Tyler laughed in response to this.

Pete joined them not long after, grinning widely at Josh. "I'll assume you're staying put for a while?"

"If it means I don't get caught again, I'll stay here for the rest of the damned party," Josh commented.

This got a bit of laughter from the rest of them.

* * *

When the party ended, the main group stayed behind to help Pete clean up. 

Tyler was humming softly under his breath as he picked up some of the trash.

Suddenly, Pete's voice sounded. "Uh Tyler?"

Tyler looked up to meet Pete's brown eyes, currently lit in mischief. "What...?" he asked warily.

"Look up," Pete said, grinning at the brunette.

Tyler gave him a wary look before his gaze went up above his head. "I'm going to kill you,"

The calm way Tyler said this startled Pete. He wasn't expecting that.

Tyler let his eyes fall to meet Pete's again. "Seriously? Party ended, why is this still a thing?"

Josh laughed, moving to where Tyler was, staring at Pete in annoyance. "It's tradition,"

"I don't like this tradition," Tyler deadpanned.

Josh grinned at him, kissing his cheek and shoving Tyler lightly from where he was standing before looking at Pete. "Take it down,"

Pete nodded in agreement, taking note of the fact that Tyler was bright red and refusing to look at anyone. 

Once he had all the mistletoe down, he spoke. "Sorry, Tyler."

Tyler hummed in acknowledgement, eyes flickering up to meet Pete's before he gave a shrug. "It's fine. Just...."

"Yeah, I know. You don't like people in your personal space," Pete finished for him. "No hard feelings?"

Tyler tossed a piece of trash at him before he smiled. "No hard feelings,"

* * *

"How was the party?" 

Tyler glanced over to see his brother sitting on the couch in the living room.

"It was a lot of fun," Tyler told him with a shrug.

Zack's eyes flickered to him before returning to the television. "It's nice to see you happy,"

And just like that, the conversation died and Tyler made his way to his room, checking his phone when it went off.

_From: Josh_

_11:43 pm_

_did u have fun?_

Tyler grinned, replying back the affirmative. 

He laughed faintly when Josh replied with just 'sick'.

_To: Josh_

_11:49 pm_

_sick as frick. thx for saving me @ pete's._

No reply came, which Tyler was fine with, because it meant he could get some sleep. 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Tyler wasn't sure he'd ever get used to waking up to his phone being attacked by messages. He blinked, rubbing at his eyes before he looked at the messages on his phone.

Most of them were from Dallon, which was strange. Tyler wasn't that close with the taller male, if he were honest.

The last one was similar to one he'd received from Patrick a few times since he'd joined their group.

_From: Dallon_

_10:20 am_

_I'm coming over. See u in 20?_

Tyler glanced at the time before replying with an okay and dragging himself up to actually get a shower and changed. 

He was downstairs before the doorbell rang this time.

"Tyler, honey, who is it?"

Tyler answered as he opened the door. "It's Dallon, Mom,"

No response came and as soon as Tyler got a look at Dallon, the shorter gave a low curse. "What's wrong?" he asked, moving to let Dallon inside.

Dallon shook his head. "It was a bad idea to stay with Bren last night," he commented. "He's been a wreck all morning and he isn't letting anyone _help_ and lashed out and I couldn't stay. He didn't mean any of what he said, I know, but...fuck, Ty, I don't want to hear him tearing himself down."

Tyler nodded, leading Dallon to the living room. "Alright, what happened?"

"His ex called him," Dallon said, rolling his eyes. "Usually it wouldn't be a big deal, but Bren was already in a state because nightmares, and Ry calls him while he's drunk and..."

Tyler didn't press for more information. Instead, he pulled his phone out and called Patrick's phone, placing his own on speaker.

" _If you're calling about Brendon, Pete and me are on our way to get him right now,"_ Patrick's voice said in place of a greeting.

Tyler sighed in relief. "Alright, good. Dallon's here."

" _Thank God. You know, you'd think a first fight wouldn't do this,"_

Then a pause.

Patrick sighed. " _I'm texting Josh and having him join you guys at your place. Be ready to meet us in about a half hour,"_

Tyler gave an alright and hung up, eyes locked on Dallon, who was staring at his hands looking for all the world like he didn't want to exist in that moment. "It'll be fine," he promised. 

Just then, Tyler's mom moved to stand at the back of the couch. "Everything okay in here?"

Tyler looked at his mom before he shrugged. "There was an....argument," he offered weakly. "We're going to patch it up, though."

Dallon raised his eyes to meet Tyler's mom's eyes before he gave a small smile. "Hi, Mrs. Joseph. I'm sorry for coming over so suddenly,"

"It's no issue,"

When Josh entered, knocking as he opened the door, Tyler looked up again from where he'd been talking to Dallon quietly. "Good to know you're learning,"

Josh gave him a quick smile before his gaze moved to Dallon. "Pete was laying into him when I heard from them," he commented. "What did he _do_?!"

Dallon held Josh's gaze for a moment before he looked down and shrugged, quiet even for him.

Tyler spoke softly. "All I got was words were exchanged while Brendon was upset,"

"Fuck," Josh groaned, joining them on the couch. "He doesn't have a filter anyway, he loses his common sense when he's upset,"

Dallon gave a soft laugh at that.

* * *

A half hour on the dot, Tyler got a message with the address of the park that was located towards the heart of town and got up, grabbing shoes and his coat as he went. "Time to go,"

Josh led Dallon outside, both of them donning their coats as they went.

"I'll be back later, bye!" Tyler called as he followed, closing the door behind himself and joining the others.

"God, did you walk all the way here from Brendon's?" Josh asked, glancing around to see that Dallon's car wasn't parked at Tyler's - something he failed to notice when he came over.

Dallon shrugged. "My car's still at home. Bren drove me to Pete's and..."

* * *

When they got to the park and joined the others underneath the shelter, Brendon attack's Dallon with a hug, apologizing into his shoulder. 

Dallon stood there for a moment before his arms moved to wrap around Brendon. But he didn't accept the apology, Tyler noticed.

Josh looked at Patrick and Pete.

Pete shook his head. "Ryan called," he offered. "Considering everything, it should have been worse."

Tyler stayed out of it, instead moving to sit on one of the tables.

It took a while for Dallon to finally register that Brendon was still half crying into his chest, mumbling apologies. "Quit that," he said softly, pushing Brendon back to meet sorrowful brown eyes. 

Brendon held his gaze, falling silent.

"I don't blame you," Dallon told him. "Am I happy that you lashed out at me for trying to help you? No, not really. But....I get it."

Tyler shared looks with everyone else before  he looked down.

He didn't want to know what Brendon had said. The state Dallon was in when he'd gotten to the Joseph residence told Tyler it wasn't anything good.

Dallon was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. "Block his number," he said softly. "Please."

Brendon hesitated before he nodded, his tenseness melting a bit.

Patrick relaxed against the table at this, seeming glad that the drama was over.

"Went better than I thought it would," he said softly when Tyler gave him a strange look. "Bren doesn't usually back down,"

* * *

The group stayed out there for a little bit, just giving Brendon and Dallon time to talk it out in private. 

"You can never say it's boring with this group," Tyler said softly.

Patrick nodded.

They all watched when Brendon disappeared, coming back with an acoustic guitar and sitting down with everyone else, Dallon moving to sit with the group as well.

"You good?" Josh asked of the two.

Dallon nodded, giving a faint smile.

Brendon hummed softly, but his attention was on the guitar.

When he started playing, Dallon looked at him in surprise. He hadn't heard this before.

But no one complained. It was rare that Brendon would actually play something. Singing for him was normal, but actually playing an instrument was one of those things Brendon didn't do for people.

* * *

As everyone got ready to split ways and head home, Brendon spoke up. "Oh! Tyler!"

Tyler blinked, looking at Brendon warily. He didn't trust the wide grin that he had, honestly. "What Brendon....?"

Brendon shrugged. "Just wondering if you were alright after the whole mess at Pete's,"

Tyler wanted to believe that it was just concern spurring Brendon's question.

Dallon laughed, though. "Oh leave the poor guy alone. It's bad enough we made him suffer through that."

Brendon laughed, eyes light. He looked back to Tyler before he shrugged. "Sorry. But I've never seen anyone that comes to those parties turn that shade of red before,"

Tyler rolled his eyes in response, but didn't say anything.

Josh and Tyler walked back together. "I'm so sorry for him,"

Tyler hummed, but smiled. "I don't mind. If he's feeling well enough to poke fun, then he's alright so...I'll suffer happily. Means I don't have to help fix his mess that way,"

"Fair point," Josh laughed.

* * *

When school started back, Tyler came bounding into the cafeteria with a notebook clutched to his chest. Once he was in a seat - barely, but good enough - he went to writing immediately. 

The group gave him a strange look for the sudden energy that had come to their table.

"New song?" Josh asked curiously.

Tyler hummed, but didn't answer.

Josh nodded, going back to his earlier conversation.

When Tyler started tapping out a beat with his pencil on the table though, reading over the words, Josh abandoned it again to watch the brunette curiously.

Tyler seemed to notice, because he immediately stopped tapping his pencil with a soft 'sorry'.

"You apologize a lot," Frank pointed out from his seat.

Tyler shrugged, but went back to writing, energy fading a bit.

Josh spoke, though. "Idea for a beat for the song?"

"Yeah," Tyler admitted, not asking what Josh was talking about.

"Can I see the words?" Josh asked curiously.

Tyler hesitated before he shook his head slowly.

"So it's one that...."

"Yeah..." Tyler mumbled.

Patrick raised an eyebrow at the two. "Want to share with the rest of us what you guys are saying in half sentences?"

It took a moment before Tyler spoke, voice quiet. " _He_ came back again last night..." he admitted. "And...I don't know....some of what he said...I had an idea and...."

Patrick's eyes lit in concern. "Are you okay?" he asked immediately.

Tyler gave him a faint smile and nodded. "I'm fine," he replied calmly.

That had become a thing, Tyler noticed. Ever since the group found out about Blurry, they got concerned if they found out that he was back.

Josh glanced at the notebook doubtfully before raising his gaze to Tyler again. He knew how Tyler's songs ran. They usually said a lot about how he was feeling. And if he was this excited for it but wanted it to be secret then he knew it wasn't going to say anything good about how he was.

Pete seemed to have the same idea, knowing that Tyler only got secretive when it was hard. "What's your favorite line from it right now?"

Tyler blinked at him before gave an understanding smile. "Don't worry about it. I'll show it to you guys sometime after it's done,"

"We'll hold you to that," Brendon said with an easy smile. "In fact....talent show's in a couple months...why don't you do one of your songs?"

Tyler gave Brendon a wide-eyed look of horror. "What?! No!"

"Why not?" Patrick asked in surprise. "Pete, Andy, and me are doing a song for it. Your songs are amazing, Ty, you should let people hear them,"

Tyler seemed a bit panicked. "But...personal..."

Josh sighed. "Don't use the one you're writing now. Do you have any written that aren't as personal?"

Tyler hesitated for a moment before he sighed. "Fine...I'll...I'll find one...but..."

"You can run it by us a million times if it helps," Patrick told him soothingly. "It's fine."

Tyler frowned before he shook his head. "No. No, if I'm doing this...."

Josh smiled, knowing Tyler was about to set himself up to make something to surprise everyone else.

Dallon gave a wary look as Tyler's eyes lit up. "Why do I not like that look,"

Tyler didn't answer, though, instead turning to a new page and starting to write ideas for lines down. "Jish?" he said as he wrote. "I'm gonna need your help, can you play drums for me?"

Josh grinned easily. "Sure,"

"Sick," Tyler responded easily, his eyes never leaving the page.

Josh laughed, but said nothing further.

* * *

Tyler was working on the song again at lunch. 

Patrick gave him a wary look as he sat down. "You're excited about this,"

"Mmhmm." Tyler responded.

"Gonna join our conversation?" Pete asked, with a faint smile.

Tyler hummed again.

Josh laughed quietly at this, knowing that Tyler wasn't actually listening to what was being said to him.

Brendon seemed to realize this as well, because he gave a wide grin.

"Don't even," Dallon warned. "Leave him be."

* * *

It took Tyler a week to work out the basic idea. He came in the Tuesday he had it and immediately handed the notebook to Josh. "I need to know what to change, and I need an opinion that isn't my own or Zack's,"

"Your brother is helping?" Josh asked with an easy smile, reading through the words.

Tyler hummed in agreement.

Josh took the pencil from Tyler and wrote down suggestions in the margins of the page.

Tyler ignored it, though.

Brendon spoke up then. "So how's the writing process?"

"Pretty good," Tyler admitted. "Easier this time than the first song I wrote for something,"

Dallon frowned, glancing at the empty seats that Pete and Patrick usually occupied. "Where are they?"

Josh spoke then. "They're currently off being cute," he offered. "Patrick was having a rough morning, so Pete decided he was going to try to kiss it all better,"

This got a bit of laughter, and Josh grinned.

Tyler had to admit, he was glad that he'd found this group of people. They were all so strange, and it didn't seem like they'd work as a group, but it was a nice sort of rhythm they had set up.

When Pete and Patrick joined them, the shorter of them was bright red.

"You know...I'd ask...but....I don't think I want to know," Tyler said with a grin.

Patrick gave a faint smile.

Josh handed the notebook back not long after, and Tyler immediately went to reading what Josh had written.

* * *

The next couple weeks were quiet for the group. Well...as quiet as they could get. 

During that time, Frank and Gerard got together, had a falling out, and patched things up. Mikey came out to the group as asexual, and it was well accept.

Brendon and Dallon had another fight and fixed it, and Patrick and Pete had their first fight.

They didn't speak for two days.

Tyler sighed as he looked at the group as they sat at lunch one day at the end of it all.

"So...talent show is in a month," Brendon said as he sat down at the table at lunch.

"Fun," Tyler said softly.

Patrick grinned at him. "It will be, won't it?"

Once things settled, Brendon spoke again. "So, Tyler."

Tyler hummed, looking up at him.

"Just curious...feel free not to answer but...you're one of the only ones in the group that isn't in a relationship,"

Tyler panicked and shook his head. "No. No, we are not having this conversation," he said immediately. "You and my family both keep asking me about it, no. It's no one's business, Brendon."

Brendon held his hands up. "I know. I just wondered."

Josh was watching this quietly, his smile gone.

* * *

 

Tyler tried not to say much to the group in the days following this conversation.

When he came into the cafeteria Friday morning, it was to Brendon and Josh having a conversation. The rest of the group was giving input every so often, but generally stayed out of it.

"...it's simple, Josh. Just...."

Josh groaned as Tyler sat down next to him. "Bren, can you please drop it? I told you I'm not comfortable yet."

Brendon dropped it, glancing at Tyler.

"What the hell did I just walk in on?" Tyler asked with a faint smile.

Patrick chuckled. "Brendon trying to talk Josh into talking to his crush." he remarked, then added in a stage whisper, "He's playing match-maker again,"

Tyler nodded, giving Josh an apologetic smile before he tuned out a lot of the conversation in favor of fixing some last minute things on the song he was still working on.

"Any luck?" Josh asked.

"It's almost completely finished,"

Josh smiled. "Good. Then we can actually start working on the music,"

This got a nod out of Tyler.

Patrick shared a look with Pete before he shrugged.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Tyler was excited the day he finished the lyrics completely.

It was at lunch on a Friday, and he startled a few people in the group because he threw his pencil down and tossed the notebook to Josh before the drummer could sit down with his food.

Josh picked the notebook up off the floor as he sat down, glancing at the lyrics. "Should be fun," he said happily. "What were you thinking for the music?"

Tyler shrugged. "I'm bringing my keyboard. I'll play around with the sound settings on it."

"I'll come by yours after school and we can get started?" Josh said, putting the notebook - closed - on the table beside Tyler.

"Sounds like a plan,"

Brendon rolled his eyes at the two, and Tyler only just caught the amused smile Patrick was giving them before the shorter male looked down.

"...what?"

Patrick shrugged, his attention on his food. But he did speak. "Nice to see you two so excited, is all," he admitted.

Josh gave Patrick a worried look. "Can you please just....not?"

Patrick gave him a glance before he gave an understanding smile. "Sorry,"

Tyler seemed a bit confused, but he didn't ask. Instead, he let his focus go to his lunch.

He left before anyone else, and everyone immediately felt a sense of dread.

Josh sent a text to Tyler's phone, asking if he was okay, but didn't get a response.

Brendon sighed. "So....who's going to talk to him?"

"I have next hour with him," Dallon said softly. "I'll talk to him."

"You guys sure are worried,"

Josh turned his head at the familiar voice. "Debby," he greeted with a small smile.

Debby returned it before speaking again. "What's going on?"

"We don't know,"

Brendon rolled his eyes. "Yes, we do," he said, giving Pete a look. "He feels left out because he doesn't know what the ever loving fuck is happening."

Debby made an understanding noise, taking Tyler's vacated seat. "And what is happening?" she asked patiently.

Josh looked down at this, catching her attention.

She examined her friend before she nodded. "Right. Talk to him. Or I will. And I promise he'll know if I talk to him," she said simply.

Josh gave her a betrayed look, but then gave a small smile and a nod of understanding. "After school," he promised.

As the group left from lunch, Brendon spoke. "Does this mean he's finally going to freaking own up to his little crush?"

Dallon nudged his arm, but smiled as well. "Let him take it at his pace. You know Josh, and you know how skittish Tyler gets."

This got a frown, but Brendon didn't argue.

* * *

After school, Tyler was waiting for Josh by the student lot, looking a bit sheepish. 

Josh gave him a happy smile as he joined the brunette. "Hey, Ty. Ready to go?"

"We need to talk," Tyler told him, but started walking.

Josh stopped for a moment before he sighed and moved to fall into step with Tyler. "What about?"

Tyler was quiet for a minute before he spoke. "Did I do something to upset you?" he asked curiously. "Because Dallon was asking all sorts of questions and Bren's acting weird and Hell, even Patrick keeps throwing me curious looks and I don't know _why!_ Do you guys not want me to continue being your friend? Did I mess something up?"

Josh's eyes widened before he spoke, pulling Tyler to a stopping point. "No. No, you didn't do anything wrong, we still want you as a friend."

"Then what the hell is wrong?!" Tyler asked, voice rising an octave as he met honey eyes, his own showing his panic.

Josh looked down for a moment before he sighed. "They're just...I don't know. They get like this when they're curious and..."

But he knew Tyler didn't believe him.

Debby's voice echoed in Josh's head with the warning she'd given, and Josh huffed. "Listen...I...uh...I can't do this, alright? I can't have this conversation with you right now,"

"I guess it's a good thing you don't have to, then, huh?"

It was Brendon's voice, and Josh immediately cursed himself for not actually getting off school grounds before stopping.

Tyler's eyes flickered to Brendon's face, taking in the easy smile there. "Why do I not trust this?"

"Because you worry too much," Brendon offered. "Josh, take a hike so I can explain to Tyler here what's going on without you dying of embarrassment, alright?"

Josh didn't pause to argue, just walking out of earshot and joining the rest of the group, who had stayed behind when they saw Tyler and him talking.

"You're letting Brendon tell him?" Patrick asked in surprise.

Josh sighed. "I couldn't tell him myself, and Brendon jumped in, so yes I'm letting Brendon tell him."

"Oh, you poor sap,"

Josh gave a shaky laugh, glancing over his shoulder before he gave a sigh. "Needless to say nothing's staying the same. He'll either understand or he'll..."

No one had to ask what Josh was really worried about.

 

 

Brendon waited for Josh to be out of earshot before he started speaking. "Tyler, be honest. You already know, don't you?"

Tyler hesitated before he gave a faint laugh and nodded. "Yeah, I already know,"

Brendon looked away from Tyler so he didn't burst out laughing and ruin the entire situation. "So you're just torturing him?"

"I'd rather he actually owned up to his crush, yeah. But....I completely get it. He's anxious."

Brendon nodded. "He doesn't want to lose you as a friend if you don't feel the same," he commented easily. "And...do you?"

Tyler froze, staring at Brendon for a moment before he looked down, rubbing at his neck lightly.

"Uh-huh...caught you." Brendon said with a laugh. He shook his head, throwing an arm around Tyler's shoulder and leading him over to the group. "Time to own up, yourself."

Tyler tried to argue, but eventually gave up and let Brendon lead him over to the group, bright red.

Josh glanced up when they stopped.

Brendon gave the drummer a knowing smirk, pushing Tyler over to him. "All that worry for nothing, Dun, I'm ashamed,"

Josh seemed to relax then, Tyler noticed.

Patrick laughed. "Alright, you two. C'mon. I'm driving the two of you to Tyler's. Don't you have a song you're working on?"

"Shit, yeah," Josh said, immediately focused on what their plans were for that evening.

Tyler gave a thankful smile to Patrick.

As soon as they were in the car, though, Patrick spoke. "The two of you best talk this out while you're working," he told them. "If you come back Monday with nothing resolved, I'm kidnapping you both and locking you in a small room until everything's worked out,"

This got a laugh from the two.

* * *

"So...when were you planning on actually telling me?" Tyler asked as he stood behind his keyboard. 

Josh met his gaze before he shrugged. "Whenever I had the nerve to. But..."

Tyler nodded quietly. "Well...don't worry about it, alright? I already knew, I just...wanted to see if you were actually going to tell me."

Josh gave a wry smile and nodded in agreement. "Yeah..."

* * *

They worked for about an hour and a half on the song before Tyler gave up and moved to plop down on the bed. 

Josh gave an amused laugh at this.

Tyler huffed, but smiled anyway.

"So...are you nervous yet?" Josh asked after a moment. "Talent show's in less than a month,"

Tyler groaned in response, covering his eyes with one of his arms. "Ugh, don't remind me,"

Josh laughed in response, shaking his head. "It's okay to be nervous, you know."

"I know,"

* * *

Tyler groaned when his phone woke him up at three that morning. 

He glared at it before looking at the message.

_From: Josh_

_2:29 am_

_cnt sleep. can u meet me outside?_

Tyler sighed, but was up and moving a moment later, pulling a pair of jeans, his sneakers and a jacket on before he made his way outside quietly, careful not to wake anyone up. 

Josh wasn't hard to find - his fading blue hair still shown in the darkness under the lights of the street lamps. "Sorry," he offered.

Tyler shook his head. "Don't be. Come on, let's just...go explore for a bit. I just have to be in before six,"

And if Josh was hesitant to explore, he never said anything.

The two of them ended up in the tree cover a bit away from their homes, sitting on the slightly damp ground and talking.

"So, why can't you sleep?"

Josh shrugged. "Too much nervous energy, I think," he admitted.

Tyler  sighed, but nodded in understanding. "Is this helping?"

Josh gave a small smile. "Yeah, it is,"

"Good,"

* * *

At about four, Josh walked with Tyler back to the Joseph residence. 

"Sorry again for calling you out at three in the morning," Josh said quietly.

Tyler shook his head, smiling easily. "I don't mind." he admitted.

Josh smiled faintly, nodding in acceptance.

Tyler opened the door slightly before he glanced back at Josh. "Get home safe and let me know if you still can't sleep," he said, giving the drummer a worried look.

"I will," Josh promised, kissing Tyler's cheek before disappearing back home.

Tyler smiled, heading inside and closing and locking the door quietly before going back up to his room.

He was asleep as soon as his head met his pillow.


	13. Chapter 13

Monday morning, Tyler definitely wasn't feeling like dealing with the entire group as he entered the cafeteria.

"Damn, you look like shit,"

Tyler looked up to see the entire group seeming surprised by his state. He sighed as he took a seat, mumbling something as he laid his head on the table.

"Are you...okay...?" Patrick asked warily.

"'m fine," Tyler responded tiredly. "Didn't sleep well.."

 No one said anything when Tyler's breathing slowed.

Josh threw him a surprised look, but immediately went back to talking with the others.

After a few moments, Brendon spoke. "So...how'd that talk go?"

Josh paused what he was saying, giving Brendon a look not unlike a deer in the headlights. "Uh..."

This got a little bit of laughter from the rest of the group.

Patrick grinned easily. "You two did talk, right?"

"Yeah, we did," Josh said, his voice a lot quieter than the group was used to.

"So?"

Tyler groaned in response to this, lifting his head to glare at the group. "You don't understand how much I hate mornings right now, do you? I want to sleep, not listen to you guys grilling Josh about relationship details," he deadpanned

"Sorry, Tyler," Patrick offered.

Tyler hummed, eyes drifting closed again for a minute before he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Doesn't matter,"

Josh gave him an amused look. "You're totally going to end up sleeping through English," he remarked easily.

"Probably," Tyler admitted.

* * *

It wasn't an eventful day for Tyler, something he was thankful for. 

Apparently everyone else found out that Josh had asked him out by lunch, though, because they seemed content.

Tyler gave them a tired smile before focusing on his lunch.

"So...why didn't you sleep well, exactly?" Dallon asked between bites of his own lunch.

Tyler hummed before he shrugged. "I got to working on the music for that song for the talent show and just....didn't actually fall asleep until after three,"

Nobody said anything about it, thankfully, and Tyler went back to focusing on his food.

* * *

By the end of the week, Tyler and Josh had the music worked out. 

"Excited?" Josh asked him when he noted the bright eyes.

Tyler nodded in agreement.

* * *

The day the talent show was happening, Tyler's nerves were obvious to the group. 

He was already tugging at his hair when he joined them in the cafeteria.

Patrick gave him an easy smile. "Nervous, then?"

Tyler looked at Patrick before he gave a wry grin and nodded, pulling his hand away from his hair.

"Well, I can't wait to see what you guys have been working on," Patrick remarked with an easy laugh. "Bren's been excited all morning because all of us are showing off today,"

Tyler threw a happy smile over to Brendon, who shrugged. "Dallon and Spenc talked me into it," he admitted.

Josh grinned at them when he joined everyone. "Morning,"

The sentiment was returned, then the group fell into their normal insanity.

* * *

It was after lunch that the talent show started. 

And if those performing out of the group were nervous, then no one said anything.

Tyler and Josh were one of the first ones to perform.

Patrick grinned at them from where he was seated, fedora perched on his head.

Tyler met his gaze before he returned the smile from his place behind his keyboard.

Josh gave Tyler a steady look, and as soon as he got the minuscule nod, he started playing. 

Tyler's playing joined him immediately after, and soon Tyler's voice was echoing through speakers, soft but meaningful.

Patrick shared a look with the rest of the group when he heard the lyrics.

Dallon was staring, wide-eyed, at Tyler, seeming shocked.

_"Welcome to the room of people_

_who have rooms of people that they loved one day_

_docked away_

_Just because we check the guns at the door_

_doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades."_

Tyler's eyes lifted from the keyboard, brown irises glowing bright in the stage lights. 

And if the rest of the group was still surprised, they didn't let it show.

_"You'll never know the psychopath sitting next to you_

_you'll never know the murderer sitting next to you_

_You'll think, 'how'd I get here, sitting next to you?'_

_But after all I've said_

_Please don't forget._

_All my friends are heathens, take it slow_

_wait for them to ask you who you know_

_please don't make any sudden moves,_

_you don't know the half of the abuse."_

Tyler's eyes flashed, his expression changing to a half smirk, something that the group had never seen from him before. 

It gave him a sinister look, but it was so perfect.

Brendon was grinning from his seat.

Josh threw a look to Tyler before returning his attention to his drumming.

" _We don't deal with outsiders very well_

_They say newcomers have a certain smell_

_You have trust issues, not to mention_

_they say they can smell your intentions._

_You'll never know the freakshow sitting next to you._

_You'll have some weird people sitting next to you."_

When Tyler's expression darkened slightly and his eyes darted down, though, Patrick knew something was _wrong_. Tyler was one to put up a front if need be, and he knew it usually brought trouble with it. He just hoped that things were alright. 

Josh seemed to have noticed as well, because he kept sneaking worried glances to the brunette.

_"Why'd you come, you knew you should have stayed?_

_I tried to warn you just to stay away._

_And now they're outside ready to bust_

_It looks like you might be one of us."_

Josh's playing stopped halfway through the end of it, and even he seemed a bit thrown off, but said nothing until they were off-stage. 

"I wasn't aware you'd added anything else," he remarked.

Tyler gave him a wry smile. "I...uh...I didn't. I didn't write it in. It was just a..."

Josh nodded in understanding. "It fit," he remarked with a grin. Then his expression turned serious. "Are you okay?"

Tyler hummed before he rubbed at his neck nervously. "I'm alright," he promised. "Just pulled on some of what I'm used to Blurry feeling and....I dunno,"

No questions followed that.

The two settled down quickly, and before long, Patrick, Andy, Pete, and someone Tyler didn't know took the stage.

"Oh, they got Joe's help?" Dallon asked with an easy smile. "Should be fun,"

Tyler smiled, but he knew for a fact that Patrick was worried about what was about to happen.

It turned out they were doing one that Tyler had heard Patrick singing before as him and Pete worked on it.

It was nice, Tyler though. Just high energy enough that it was obvious everyone was having fun on stage.

But the best part of it was that they all seemed so natural and happy.

When they finished, Tyler clapped enthusiastically for them, grinning when they joined them again. "That was amazing," he said honestly.

"Thanks,"

The next few people to go up were good, too, but Tyler could tell they were in it just to 'win'. And he hated that this was what people cared about. He knew that the group, those who were performing, were stubbornly doing this just because they thought it'd be fun.

And so far it had been.

Brendon, Dallon, and Spencer didn't end up performing until last.

Tyler shared a look with everyone else as they took the stage, and he knew they all agreed it was a good idea that they were going last. No way in hell could anyone top Brendon's energy.

Brendon winked at the rest of the group as they started with the music.

And when his voice joined the music, Tyler sat back, smiling as he did.

_"Oh, if you only knew_

_what we've been up to_

_I guarantee you'd keep it secret."_

And if Tyler thought that Patrick, Pete, Andy, and Joe looked at home on stage, it paled to how at home Brendon seemed. 

He seemed to light up the room with an infectious energy that had everyone smiling and nodding along to the beat of the song.

Dallon seemed to be enjoying himself, as well, and the group seemed to be at ease as they watched their friends on stage.

_"In the Vegas lights_

_where villains spend the weekend_

_the deep end_

_we're swimming with the sharks until we drown."_

Brendon shot a glance over to Dallon, who nodded along to the music and gave an easy grin, looking completely opposite of his usual composed self. 

_"And we're all not here for nothing_

_and we're bored of looking good._

_We've gotta be starting something._

_Would you change it if you could?"_

Once the song ended, Tyler could feel the energy leaving the rest of the room.

None of them stayed for the results, content in how they felt they did without someone else telling them their opinion.

"So, I had no idea you could pull off dark, Tyler," Brendon said happily as they settled down outside.

Tyler frowned. "What?"

Josh laughed brightly. "The song, Ty."

Tyler nodded in understanding. "Yeah...can we not talk about that?"

"Of course," Brendon agreed immediately.

* * *

The entire group wound up at the park they'd gone to when Brendon and Dallon had their first falling out.

Josh wound up sitting on one of the tables and pulling Tyler to sit between his legs as they watched the group go back and forth between arguing and playing games.

"Hey, stop being cute and come join us!" Pete called out to them with a wide grin about an hour later.

Tyler raised an eyebrow before he laughed, nodding and moving.

Josh pouted, but let Tyler pull him to the rest of the group.

* * *

Josh walked him home that evening, and the two were still laughing as they stopped at the Joseph residence. 

It took a moment for Josh to actually say anything, settling for a soft 'today was a lot of fun'.

Tyler hummed in agreement before he grinned.

Josh went to ask what he was grinning about so suddenly, but never got the chance. Before he could start talking, Tyler decided to move forward and steal a kiss from the drummer.

When Tyler finally pulled back, his eyes were bright and he was smiling calmly.

Josh swallowed before returning the bright smile.


	14. Chapter 14

Once the talent show passed, the rest of the school year flew by.

On the last day of school, Tyler looked at the rest of the group before he shook his head.

"What?" Dallon asked in amusement as he watched this movement.

"I was terrified my first day this year," Tyler deadpanned. "I just can't remember why,"

This got a little bit of laughter from the group, and Tyler immediately relaxed at the sound. He knew a year ago, he would've felt out of place among their happiness. He was just glad that he'd found a place he felt safe.

Josh threw an arm around his shoulders happily as the bell rang, dismissing everyone to their first hour class for the day.

"So, it's just gonna be a bunch of games today, according to Pete."

Tyler nodded in understanding at this.

* * *

The day flew by, and the group wound up going over to Patrick's home afterwards.

Patrick was quick to leave a note for his parents that he had company so they didn't get too surprised when they got home.

Tyler smiled happily as they all settled into games and laughter.

 He spent a lot of time observing the group instead of playing the games with them. 

"You alright?" Patrick asked when he noticed.

Tyler nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I'm completely fine." he promised, settling in to join in the games.

* * *

When Tyler got home, he was smiling happily.

His parents greeted him as he headed up to his room, Tyler throwing a greeting back before he closed his door and settled down with his ukulele to work on music for a song until his energy faded enough for him to go to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Most of the summer was uneventful.

There were birthdays, there was the fourth of July, and then it was mostly just simple hangouts every now and again.

Mostly, Tyler spent his time with Josh and working on more music.

* * *

The first day of school, though, Tyler was up and ready a good half hour before he had to leave. He had his ukulele with him when he left the house. 

Patrick greeted him happily when he joined the group. "Hey Ty!"

Tyler smiled in greeting, nodding.

"We've had a development," Frank remarked easily as Tyler sat down.

"And what's that?"

But as soon as Tyler asked, he saw Gerard's unamused smile. He immediately looked over at Mikey to see him and Andy sitting together at the end of the table talking. "Did they....?"

Frank nodded in answer. "Gee isn't happy,"

Gerard gave Frank a look. "Mikey's my kid brother, of course I'm not happy,"

Tyler laughed faintly. "Right well, at least you know Andy won't try to force anything on him,"

Gerard's smile brightened a bit at this and he nodded in agreement with that statement.

"And on another note," Debby's voice sounded behind him.

Tyler jumped a bit, before giving her a faint smile. "Hi," he offered.

Josh laughed quietly, grabbing one of Tyler's hands to draw circles with his fingers on the palm.

Debby didn't bother to acknowledge that. "We have two more girls who are coming into the group," she said softly, followed by a smile. "They're both Freshman but I think they'll fit right in,"

* * *

The first day was rather eventful leading into lunch. 

Once the group was together for lunch, they started talking about their classes.

It didn't stay serious for long, though, and Tyler was glad for that.

Josh smiled faintly at Tyler before it faded, noticing the twitching of the brunette's hands.

Tyler glanced over when Josh nudged him with a worried look.

Patrick noticed as well and immediately spoke. "You alright?"

Tyler nodded quietly, but they didn't look convinced.

Still, they didn't ask.

* * *

Tyler made it through the rest of the day blocking out Blurry's voice. 

A lot of it was easy - he just focused on the task in front of him. But the times he had free time were torture.

He'd never been happier to go home, honestly.


	16. Chapter 16

"Hey Ty!"

Tyler glanced up curiously at this before he gave a grin.

They were about a month into the new school year, and Tyler had become fast friends with Melanie and Ashley - the two girls that Debby had pulled into the group.

It was lunch, and the group was slowly drifting out to join Tyler on the patio.

Josh gave an amused smile when he joined them. "Working on a new one?" he asked, nodding to the notebook laying on one of Tyler's legs and the ukulele on the other.

Tyler gave a scowl in response. "I can't get the music right," he admitted.

"It'll come to you, I'm sure,"

Tyler nodded, returning to what he was doing.

Once the entire group was there, things fell into an easy routine until Patrick noticed that Tyler wasn't eating. "Should I take your music away until you eat?"

Tyler glanced up at Patrick to see a worried expression on his face. He shook his head. "I ate my lunch earlier. I made sure to bring one from home because I knew I'd spend today working on stuff,"

This got a nod from the blond boy.

After a long moment of staring at the lyrics he had written, he spoke up. "Hey, 'Trick? Take a look at these and give me some suggestion towards the music?" he asked.

Patrick seemed surprised - Tyler hadn't asked that of him in a long while - but he nodded, taking the notebook.

He was quite for a while, and Tyler went to playing randomly while he waited, wanting something to keep his nerves down.

After a few minutes, Patrick spoke. "Keep it easy on the ukulele. I think maybe Josh would be able to help with the rest?"

Tyler nodded. 

"We'll work on it after school?" Josh suggested.

Tyler gave him an easy smile.

"You gonna share this time?" Brendon asked curiously. "You don't usually worry so much unless it's personal as hell or you're showing it off,"

"I might. Depends on if I hate it when it's to music,"

* * *

The rest of the day at school was uneventful for Tyler. 

When he got home, he immediately dropped his stuff off besides his ukulele and notebook and headed to Josh's.

Josh grinned faintly at him. "Alright, let's get started?"

Tyler nodded, tossing him the notebook. "It's the last one in there,"

Josh immediately started turning pages, skimming the lyrics before he grinned up at Tyler. "I can't wait to hear this completed,"

* * *

It took a week to perfect it to Tyler's standards. 

And that Friday, they happened to be all getting together at someone's house anyway.

"So...the song's finished," Tyler offered at lunch.

"Really?" Dallon asked with a knowing grin. "You like it?"

Tyler shrugged. "It's okay," he replied, seeming slightly uncomfortable.

Josh laughed. "If you guys wanna hear it, I'll bring my drums with me. He's just...not written anything like it before,"

This got a nod from some of the others in the group.

"We'd love to hear it," Patrick said honestly, giving a happy smile to the two.

* * *

And so, Tyler and Josh arrived to Patrick's house a good thirty minutes late.

"About time you guys got here," Ashley remarked with an easy smile as she stepped out of the doorway.

Tyler immediately put his ukulele case down out of the way, hands twitching slightly.

Patrick eyed this movement for a moment, slightly concerned, but let it go. He knew Tyler was nervous. He always was when he wanted to share a song with the group.

"Any hints to what we're gonna hear?" Ashley asked Josh while him and Andy worked to get the drums set up.

Josh shrugged. "The lyrics are nice, but he's never let me hear them," he commented. "Plus, he's changed them since I saw them."

The group let them get settled.

Tyler used that time to calm down, everyone noticed it. Once everyone had found seats and were looking between Tyler and Josh patiently, Tyler sighed and grabbed the ukulele from it's case, glancing to Josh.

"Ready?" Josh asked with an easy smile, moving to sit behind the drum set, spinning the drumsticks in his hands.

Tyler seemed slightly doubtful still, Patrick saw, but he still nodded.

Brendon seemed happy at the high energy that came with the beginning and Tyler gave an easy smile, relaxing at this.

_"We have all learned to kill our dreams._

_I need to know that when I fail, you'll still be here."_

A few people seemed surprised at this - mainly the girls who didn't know about Blurry. 

_"I don't care what's in your hair,_

_I just wanna know what's on your mind._

_I used to say I wanna die before I'm old,_

_but because of you I might think twice."_

Josh threw a surprised grin to Tyler at this.

Tyler shrugged, returning the grin easily.

_"What if my dream does not happen?_

_Will I just change what I've told my friends?_

_Don't wanna know who I would be_

_when I wake up from a dreamers sleep."_

Tyler immediately turned his back on the group to put the ukulele away after this was over. 

Patrick gave an amused look to Tyler at this. "Good job," he offered.

Josh chuckled lowly at Tyler.

Tyler gave himself a few seconds before he sat down next to the case they ukulele was in, facing the group.

* * *

And just like that, the group moved on to a new topic and let Tyler get himself back together. They knew how he worked - a lot of his energy went into his performances and he almost always needed time after them to get his thoughts together before he joined their conversations. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. It's kinda short and a little everywhere.   
> The song is "We Don't Believe What's On TV" for anyone who doesn't know.


	17. Chapter 17

For some reason, Tyler felt that he spent too much time examining his group of friends, especially when there were new people added to it.

He sort of blamed his anxious personality for that habit.

The only difference this time with Melanie and Ashley was that Blurry hadn't made an appearance. Yet.

But something he'd noticed was that the two new girls didn't get surprised by a lot anymore now that they were used to the group.

Of course, that isn't saying that they hadn't had their share of surprise when they were getting used to how the entire group worked - especially with music.

He'd been paying close attention to their reactions anytime they'd had someone working on some music - he'd seen them get startled by him almost destroying his bag one morning trying to get his notebook and a pencil out of it.

He'd watched them carefully when Brendon randomly started singing some new lyrics one day during lunch - they'd given him surprised looks before sharing smiles. Ashley had laughed it off, but Melanie had shrugged and just gone back to her lunch.

And he'd seen their surprise when Gerard had ruined a drawing he was working on because he'd thought of a lyric piece he liked. Of course, that one that surprised everyone, because despite them being told that Gerard was musically inclined, they hadn't ever seen him do anything like that.

It was just one of those things that Tyler had found slightly worrisome - if new people joined the group, they needed to start issuing the heads up about their habits so that they didn't scare them.

Of course, he knew they knew what to expect by now, but it still worried him for future times they got someone else in the group.

Josh gave him a worried look while he was thinking all this through and Tyler hummed curiously, giving Josh a questioning look.

"You were tugging at your hair again," Brendon told him before Josh could. "We all got slightly worried,"

Tyler gave a grimace at that. "Sorry. Just thinking,"

To their credit, they didn't ask what about - Tyler was glad for that because he didn't know what he would've said as an answer that didn't sound weird.

And just then, the one thing that the girls had never gotten to experience as far as the group when it came to music was concerned happened.

Pete, who had been late for lunch, showed up then with a tray of food and an open notebook. As soon as his food was on the table, he threw the notebook to Patrick, who huffed when it hit him, but immediately went to reading the page that was open.

Silence had fallen over the group, and Tyler threw a wary look to the girls - they were watching Patrick and Pete quietly like everyone else was, but only Melanie looked surprised. Tyler was willing to bet that it was more the fact that Pete had thrown the notebook to Patrick than anything.

Which was a good sign, Tyler thought. It meant they had grown used to the group.

When Patrick hummed quietly, Tyler's eyes focused in on him.

The small smile showing gave Tyler the answer he needed - it was one of those songs that was written as a 'surprise'. They hadn't done that since last year.

"I feel like I see a reference in this," Patrick told Pete when he finished reading through what was on the page.

Pete shrugged. "There's a few in there, I'm sure." he admitted, more focused on his food.

Andy was the next to speak. "So, what's with the new song?" he asked curiously.

Pete was quiet for a long moment before he grinned. "It's just something to kill nervous energy," he commented.

Nobody really understood for a moment. Tyler gave Pete a worried once over, slightly scared that he was collapsing back into how he was the day before he tried to kill himself. But the smile was genuine and Tyler couldn't find any sign of anything that would cause him to worry.

Patrick gave his boyfriend a long look before he glanced back at the lyrics before he spoke. "Pete, did you do something stupid?"

"Maybe?" Pete offered.

Silence fell over the group again before Ashley spoke. "Wait, there's that thing in town this weekend, isn't there? That music festival?"

Pete threw a semi-wild grin to her. "Yes, there is,"

"Oh no.." Patrick started, eyes lighting on Pete. "You didn't sign us up for performance did you?"

"Of course not. My dad did," Pete responded. "I'd never do something like that without talking to you about it first,"

Patrick glanced back at the page of lyrics before he spoke. "Is that why you wrote this? Soften the blow?"

Pete shrugged. "Partially. About half of it was I had lyrics going through my mind and I dunno. It isn't complete by any means but it's a basic idea?"

Once that was over, they settled down a bit.

Towards the end of lunch, Tyler spoke. "So, since you're gonna have to do performance at the music festival this weekend, how many songs do you have to do and which ones are you doing?"

"We only have to do three," Pete offered.

Patrick nodded quietly. "I don't know about you but...I'm thinking that I want to get this new one completed and do it,"

"It isn't that good!" Pete said immediately, eyes going to Patrick.

Tyler raised an eyebrow, eyes going to Patrick. "One line. What's the line that made you want to do it,"

Patrick gave a knowing smile. "Guess you'll find out at the festival," he offered.

"I tried," Tyler said, giving Pete an apologetic smile. "I'm sure it's great, though, Pete. He doesn't get this way unless it's great,"

* * *

And just like that, the group's week was set in stone. They spent a lot of time trying to help Patrick, Pete, and Andy choose two more songs.

Joe drifted back and forth a lot, only stopping in short amounts of times.

Friday at lunch, Tyler gave them a worried look. "Got everything worked out?"

Patrick shrugged, nodding. "Yeah, I guess. We're meeting after school at Pete's for a run through." he responded calmly. "I hope that'll be enough,"

Tyler gave an amused smile. "It will be,"

* * *

Saturday morning, at about nine, the entire group met up at the festival. Patrick took a look around at the amount of people before he sighed. "After this, do not ever ask me to do this again without a month to prepare," he remarked.

Pete gave a faint smile. "You'll be okay, 'Trick," he offered wryly. "You've got Andy, Joe and me up there with you. If you make a fool of yourself, I'll do the same."

Patrick gave him a searching look before giving an easy smile and nodding in agreement.

"So, line up?" Tyler asked curiously. 

Patrick grinned. "First up is the last one Pete wrote," he offered. "The others are just things that we worked together on and all agreed that they'd be best for today,"

This got a nod from Tyler.

* * *

It wasn't until about two that they were called on stage, and the group immediately moved to where they could see the make shift stage and they could be seen.

"Are they good?" Melanie asked curiously.

Tyler gave an easy smile, shooting a thumbs up to Patrick when he gave a wary look to the group. "They're amazing. Especially when they're having fun,"

Pete, who had disappeared off stage again, came back and put a fedora on Patrick's head, slightly lopsided.

Patrick gave him an easy smile, fixing the hat before going back to tuning a guitar - he didn't truly plan on playing it until the last song, but he wanted it ready for then.

Set up took a little less than fifteen minutes for them, and once they were ready to go, one of the people who was running the entire music thing announced their performance.

Tyler noticed that Patrick had to turn away from the crowd for a moment before he could relax again.

Once they were given the go ahead, the music immediately started and Tyler smiled easily as he listened - it was obvious they'd put a lot of work into this song.

Patrick's voice was smooth, calm, when he started singing and the entire group relaxed.

" _Fell out of bed, butterfly bandage, but don't worry._

_You'll never remember, your head is far too blurry."_

Tyler raised an eyebrow at this before he gave an easy smile.

"You weren't kidding about them being good when they're just having fun," Melanie offered softly.

_"I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine._

_What a match, I'm half doomed and you're semi sweet,"_

Josh laughed easily. "Pete's a cheeky bastard, isn't he?"

"Bet that's why Patrick wanted to do the song today," Tyler replied with a grin.

_"So boycott love, detox just to retox_

_And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life._

_And perfect boys with their perfect lives_

_Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy."_

Patrick smiled faintly at the floor of the makeshift stage when this ended, giving the others time to get ready for the next two. After a moment, he glanced back at them before he spoke into the microphone. 

"You know, I feel kinda silly for being so nervous to do this now,"

Tyler grinned faintly at this, knowing that Patrick was alright now.

Patrick glanced back at Pete again before he spoke. "So...the next one is one that we actually have a name for. It's kinda old...one that I wrote a couple years ago. It's called Grand Theft Autumn."

"Oh no way," Brendon said with a happy smile.

"What?" Tyler asked curiously.

Brendon threw a look to Tyler before he laughed. "I forgot you hadn't heard it! Grand Theft Autumn was the first song he ever wrote and shared with anyone. That was about the time that Pete developed a crush on him. Trust me, you'll be extremely impressed by it,"

Tyler nodded in understanding just as Patrick's voice sounded, a capella. That was something that Tyler hadn't expected, honestly.

_"Where is your boy tonight?_

_I hope he is a gentleman._

_Maybe he won't find out what I know:_

_You were the last good thing about this part of town."_

When the music started, Tyler gave an amused grin. "This is gonna be one of those songs, huh?"

Brendon nodded in agreement.

_"When I wake up,_

_I'm willing to take my chances on_

_the hope I forget_

_that you hate him more than you notice_

_I wrote this for you."_

Josh grinned when Pete immediately fell into routine of doing background singing when needed as well as playing bass.

_"Someday I'll appreciate in value,_

_get off my ass and call you_

_but for the meantime I'll sport my_

_brand new fashion of waking up with pants on_

_at four in the afternoon."_

Patrick threw a look to the group before giving an easy grin to them.

_"You need him_

_I could be him_

_I could be an accident but I'm still trying_

_That's more than I can say for him."_

When this song ended, Patrick took a step back from the microphone, giving a happy smile as he grabbed the guitar from the rack behind him. 

Brendon glanced over at Tyler. "So, anything to say?"

Tyler shook his head. "Pete isn't the only one that writes cheeky lyrics between the two of them," he remarked, but he seemed worried.

"He sort of did this quiet self hate thing about the time he wrote that," Josh offered softly. "He's over it now but...it's weird hearing that song now,"

The conversation was cut short when Patrick's voice sounded again, talking about the next song to give the others time to adjust.

"This is the last one for us. It's not the most recent, but it's one that means a lot to me, and we thought it'd be a good one to end on." he said into the microphone.

Of course, as soon as he got the okay from the others, his entire persona changed immediately.

The music was quick, a bit more violent seeming than Tyler was used to from Patrick's group. But it was high energy and he understood why he said it was a good one to end on.

_"Strike a match and I'll burn you to the ground_

_we are the jack-o-lanterns in July_

_Setting fire to the sky_

_he-here comes this rising tide._

_So come on_

_Put on your warpaint,"_

Pete gave an easy smile where he was standing. 

_"Cross walks and cross hearts and hope-to-dies_

_silver clouds with grey linings._

_So we can take the world back from the heart-attacked_

_One maniac at a time, we will take it back._

_You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start_

_so dance alone to the beat of your heart,"_

Tyler grinned at this, and immediately relaxed. 

Josh noticed and laughed softly, throwing an arm around the brunette happily.

_"Hey young blood_

_doesn't it feel like our time is running out?_

_I'm gonna change you like a remix_

_Then I'll raise you like a phoenix._

_Wearing our vintage misery,_

_No, I think it looked a little better on me._

_I'm gonna change you like a remix_

_Then I'll raise you like a phoenix."_

Patrick's playing was a little strange, Tyler noticed. He had too much energy for him to focus on playing. Thankfully, he was only doing rhythm so it didn't mean as much.

_"Bring home the boys and scrap scrap metal the tanks_

_Get hitched, make a career out of robbing banks._

_Because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks_

_"You broke our spirit," says the note we pass."_

When the song ended and they joined the group again, Tyler grinned at them. 

Patrick sat down immediately, sighing.

"Take a lot out of you?" Brendon asked in amusement as the group sat down with him.

Pete pulled his boyfriend close to him, resting his chin on Patrick's shoulder.

Patrick nodded in agreement. "It did," he admitted.

Brendon laughed. "So, what made you guys decide to do Grand Theft Autumn?"

Patrick looked away and shrugged.

Pete laughed. "I wanted to do it. He decided to do one I wrote alone, so we had to do one he wrote alone as well. Then the last one was one we all collaborated on,"

This got a nod out of Brendon.

* * *

The rest of the day was calm, even for the large amount of energy the group had.

When Tyler got home, he was exhausted, but happy.

 


	18. Chapter 18

Frank's birthday party was the next thing that Tyler really registered.

They'd all settled into such a calm routine that everything had sort of blurred.

It was such a calm environment that no one was really worried.

They were currently all sitting around chatting while Brendon worked on a new song - putting it to music seemed harder for him than it did for Tyler or Patrick or Pete.

And even more surprising was that it seemed like a slower song for Brendon.

Dallon smiled faintly when he saw him pause to jot something down with the lyrics, then start again.

Just as he finished the music, a knock on the door sounded.

Frank frowned, but got up to answer the door.

"Oh..."

Tyler heard the panic in Frank's voice from where the door was and shared a look with Josh.

Frank backed into the room, seeming a bit put out. "Bren...."

Brendon's eyes darkened and his playing stopped, looking up to watch what was going on.

And just like that, Tyler knew who the brunette stranger was now.

Dallon looked over at Tyler and gave him a knowing look.

Tyler nodded slightly in response to this.

"Ryan," Brendon offered, voice slightly cold. "Why are you here?"

Ryan gave an easy smile to Brendon. "Thought I'd stop by,"

The entire room was tense and Tyler knew the girls were confused. He moved to sit with them, typing a quick explanation out before handing his phone to them to read what he'd typed.

Ashley glanced up first and nodded.

But this movement had caught Ryan's attention. "New blood?"

Tyler met his gaze, his own chocolate brown eyes hard. "What's it matter to you?"

"Oh, a temper." Ryan responded dryly. "I'm sure you've heard plenty of horrible stories about me haven't you?"

Tyler gave an amused smile and shook his head. "No. I haven't heard anything besides that you're Bren's ex. But I've seen the damage you did first hand. Doesn't really make me a big fan of yours."

Josh shot Patrick a wary look when he heard Tyler's voice drop in pitch, saw the familiar twitch of the hands.

Patrick spoke just before Ryan could. "Ty. C'mon, I left something in the car, I need your help,"

Tyler threw him a look, but didn't question it, instead getting up and leaving the house with Patrick.

Brendon watched this before he looked over at Josh. "Is he alright?"

Josh shrugged in response before his eyes went to Ryan. "If you're staying, you drop the bullshit, you don't speak to Tyler and you stay away from Brendon. Clear?"

Ryan sighed but nodded in agreement.

When they came back, Patrick had a bag of drinks and snacks and a sheepish smile.

"Did you go buy stuff?" Pete asked in amusement.

Patrick gave Pete a look. "What did you expect me to do?"

Tyler took this moment to sit down with Josh, curling up against his side.

Josh handed him his phone back and gave him a worried smile.

Ryan hesitated before he moved to find a seat.

Immediately, Brendon went back to the song he was working on.

"New one?" Ryan asked curiously.

Brendon paused before he nodded.

Tyler watched warily, fingers drumming an anxious beat against Josh's thigh as he did.

Brendon noticed and grinned. "How about you switch to doing that against your own leg so you don't end up accidentally molesting your boyfriend in front of all of us, hmm?"

Tyler blinked before he noticed what he was doing and moved his hand away from Josh's leg.

Dallon nudged Brendon. "Don't torture him," he chided softly.

"Sorry, Tyjo. Feel free to molest him if you want. Just don't actually have sex with him here in front of everyone."

Tyler gave him a deadpan look before he shook his head. "If I thought it was worth it, I'd put your head through your guitar," he deadpanned.

"Violence!" Brendon complained. "When'd you become so violent?"

"Bren," Josh said warningly when he felt Tyler tense against him.

"Shit, sorry," Brendon said immediately, giving a sheepish smile.

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Just play your song. I wanna hear it,"

Brendon hesitated for a moment. "Really...?" he asked warily.

"You haven't shared a song with just us. You did the talent show but have never done a thing for the group. Please?" Tyler said.

Dallon gave an amused smile when Brendon frowned. "C'mon. It's a good song,"

Brendon finally sighed and nodded. "Fine."

Tyler smiled faintly at this.

Ryan raised an eyebrow at the exchange but said nothing, seeming content to just watch.

Brendon hesitated before he started playing the music for his song. His voice was soft when he started singing, but it held everyone's attention.

_"Don't let me do this to myself. "_

Dallon gave Brendon a searching look as he listened.

_"You never could control me._

_Well I never really thought that you'd come tonight_

_While the crown hangs heavy on either side_

_Give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die._

_We're far too young to die, far too young to die._

_Fixation or psychosis?_

_Devoted to neurosis now."_

When Brendon finished the song, Tyler spoke. "I'd ask where that came from but..."

"It's personal," Brendon finished immediately. "Thanks,"

Tyler gave an understanding smile in response.

Ryan watched the group for a long while before he nodded and got up.

"Where you off to?" Patrick asked immediately.

Ryan hesitated before he shrugged. "Home, probably,"

Tyler threw a look to Brendon, who shrugged. "You could stay for the party," he offered.

Ryan seemed slightly hesitant at that. "Sure...?"

Brendon gave Tyler an easy smile when he saw what he was doing before he spoke. "Yeah, we're sure. You can stay for the party if you'd like. Just don't start a fight,"

* * *

The party wasn't anything too hectic, which Tyler found himself being glad for. 

Ryan left before it was over, and as soon as he was gone, Dallon looked to Tyler. "Are you alright?"

Tyler blinked at him before he nodded.

"Why wouldn't he be alright?" Melanie asked softly, seeming slightly confused.

Tyler hesitated before he looked away from the group, gaze focusing on his hands.

Josh watched this before he spoke. "His demons are just a bit too...forceful with him," he offered.

Melanie was quiet for a moment before she nodded in understanding. "Is that why Patrick made him leave for a little while?"

"Yeah, it is," Tyler offered.

After that, the topic was dropped - another thing that Tyler was thankful for.

 


	19. Chapter 19

Going into school the next day, Tyler found the group talking quietly while Gerard sat off to himself against a wall, a notebook open in front of him.

He raised an eyebrow at this, and Mikey gave a wry smile - something that didn't happen often. "Lyrics," he offered. "It's been a while since he wrote a song, so we just kinda let him go off to himself to work,"

"He doesn't like people staring over his shoulder as he writes," Frank added. "It's worse than when he's working on a new drawing,"

Tyler gave a nod in response to this, settling in his seat.

And just like that, he took to joining the conversation, even though his mind wasn't focused on it.

* * *

When lunch came, Gerard joined them with an open notebook in hand. 

"Anything good, Gee?" Frank asked curiously as soon as Gerard was in a seat.

Gerard smiled faintly. "Maybe," he responded with a shrug.

Tyler smiled at this exchange and spoke up. "Can I ask where the idea came from?"

Gerard threw him a knowing grin. "You know those drawings I've been working on a lot recently? I started another last night and I had an idea for a song."

"You should make it into a comic," Josh said absently. "All those drawings. Even if you never really want it published, you could make it a comic for just you."

Gerard was quiet before he nodded. "I might."

"Considering this is the second time you've thought of lyrics when you were drawing something? I think it would be nice," Mikey responded, giving his brother a searching look.

Gerard nodded, stealing some of the food off Frank's tray before he went back to working on the lyrics in his notebook.

* * *

This routine continued for about two weeks - Gerard would join them and talk for a while, sometimes work on his last drawing while doing so, then eventually fall off to himself and work on the song. 

He only shared it with Mikey and Frank, and Tyler smiled when he saw their reactions to the lyrics.

"Now that's a term I haven't seen or heard before," Frank said one day during lunch as he read over the final copy of the lyrics - according to Gerard the lyrics were done. "It fits, though."

Gerard grinned. "I thought so too,"

Frank got his phone out, typing out a text. "I'm getting Ray in on this, we're putting this one to music. Today."

Gerard gave his boyfriend a surprised look before he smiled faintly. "Glad you think it's worth that,"

"Are you kidding me?" Frank asked, amused. "How could it not be?"

Patrick was the one who spoke next.  "You thinking of sharing this new song with us sometime?"

Gerard glanced at the lyrics before he shrugged. "Sure."

Tyler grinned - he'd never heard Gerard sing, or heard anything about any of his songs from anyone.

Frank's phone buzzed just then and he spoke. "We're meeting at mine after school to work on the music, Gee."

Gerard nodded in understanding.

* * *

The music itself took almost two weeks to perfect - Tyler kept track and watched their expressions each day after they'd been working on it. 

So when it was finished, it was just after Thanksgiving break and everyone was already excited coming in.

"We finished it," Gerard said softly one morning at breakfast. "If you guys wanna hear it, we're gonna do it at Frank's house, since all of our set up is there and it'd take too much to get it here. After school?"

This got some agreement, as well as a few people pulling out their phones to let their parents know they would be home a bit late.

Tyler smiled faintly at the scene.

* * *

Something he noticed was that whenever someone was sharing a song, the entire group was wound tight in anticipation for it. 

As soon as school ended, they all met up and headed to Frank's house - a bit further out than anyone else lived, Tyler noticed once again.

But as soon as they were there, they immediately followed behind the group of four and settled down around the garage to listen.

Gerard was definitely a bit nervous, Tyler thought as he watched him play with the hem of his jacket sleeves.

Once they were ready to go, though, that nervousness faded immediately - disappearing entirely when the music started.

Tyler grinned faintly from where he was curled into Josh's side watching them.

_"Well now, this could be the last of all the rides we take_

_So hold on tight and don't look back._

_We don't care about the message or the rules they make_

_We'll find you when the sun goes black."_

Gerard smiled faintly at the group as he sang - hazel-brown eyes were bright. 

_"And you only live forever in the lights you make._

_When we were young we used to say_

_That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break_

_Now we are the kids from yesterday."_

Tyler threw Gerard a surprised look before he grinned. He could understand why Frank had set it fit - with this group, their music came from those moments where most people would say their hearts were breaking. Tyler glanced around at the others to see a range of expressions showing through - some surprised, others grinning knowingly, and a couple rolling their eyes with a happy smile. 

Gerard threw a look back at Frank, who gave him a smile, as he started the second verse.

_"All the cameras watch the accidents and stars you hate_

_They only care if you can bleed._

_Does the television make you feel those pills you ate?_

_Or every person that you need to be?"_

When Gerard stopped singing, silence followed. 

Patrick was the first to speak. "I agree with Frank that it completely fits,"

Gerard grinned in amusement. "It does, doesn't it?"

* * *

When Tyler got home, his parents immediately asked what had happened to cause him to be home later than usual. 

He just gave them a smile and shrugged. "Gee finished a song and wanted to share."

That was something about his parents - they understood a lot and didn't mind him being gone for things with the group. He was grateful for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is The Kids From Yesterday, in case anyone didn't know.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a few days since I posted on this story.  
> I was a bridesmaid in a wedding a week ago.  
> I spent about two days recovering from the all-weekend event of the wedding, and from the lack of sleep I had during it all.   
> Then I spent the rest of the time over the next five days working on this. It took that long because I had an idea and had no idea how I was going to follow it through. I got the last details for it not that long ago.

Honestly, Tyler knew he shouldn't be surprised when Monday morning he woke up to a familiar voice.

He laid there staring at the ceiling, trying to block Blurry out, for a good ten minutes before he resigned himself to the torment and got up, going about the motions of getting ready for school.

When he joined the group in the cafeteria, he immediately sat down and buried his head in his arms.

"Damn, you look like you've had one hell of a morning," Brendon said as he joined them, giving the others a worried look.

Josh rubbed Tyler's back gently, frowning when he felt the brunette tense up.

Tyler sighed and sat back up a moment later, glancing up to meet Brendon's worried eyes.

"Are you okay, Tyjo?"

"I'll be fine," Tyler promised, giving an easy smile - **oh, come on, that's so weak. You can do so much better. Remember?**

And just like that, the smile disappeared and he looked back down.

"Shit, is..." Josh started, eyes lighting in understanding.

Tyler threw a panicked look at him before his eyes darted to the girls - they didn't know, and he didn't plan on them knowing either. He chewed his lip for a moment before he got up and disappeared.

Gerard was joining them just as Tyler left. He threw a look back at Tyler as he sat down. "Is he alright?"

Patrick shook his head. "We don't know." he admitted. "Wouldn't talk to us,"

It took a moment for Gerard to nod, then his gaze went to the girls. "Would the three of you give us a moment, please? It's a...private matter that's up to Tyler to tell you, not us,"

"Of course," Debby said, getting up without complaint, motioning for Ashley and Melanie to follow her.

Once they were out of range, Gerard's gaze hardened and he spoke. "Is _Blurry_ back, do you think?"

"He hasn't showed the normal signs," Josh admitted. "But I don't see how it could be anything else."

Gerard sighed. "Who wants to go after him?"

"I will," Josh said softly, getting up without a word. "Keep our stuff with you, Gee?"

"Sure." Gerard responded, getting a half smile from the drummer.

Once Josh left, Gerard sighed. "God damn it...just when things were going good, too,"

"Good news, though," Pete offered. "He gets more creative when he's struggling. I hate seeing him hurting, but at least he'll get out of his rut with his music now,"

Gerard gave Pete a long look before he nodded in agreement. "I just wish he didn't have to suffer to get respite."

* * *

"Ty," Josh said quietly as he moved to sit with the shaking boy - he was sitting on the arts hall, curled in on himself, one hand rubbing at his neck as the other rested in his hair.

Tyler threw a look to Josh before he moved away.

"Hey, whoah, calm," Josh immediately commented, trying to keep his own panic hidden. He'd never seen his boyfriend like this before and it hurt.

"Just...just go away..." Tyler said quietly, voice shaky and broken.

And boy, if that didn't hurt Josh to hear. The drummer shook his head stubbornly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Tyler gave a shaky laugh, bitter and not at all like his normal soft, bright laughter that Josh had fell in love with. "You will....why would you want to stay with someone so broken?"

"Hey, no." Josh said immediately, a bit of anger seeping into his words. "Don't believe _him._ He doesn't mean anything."

Tyler fought for a good while - it was well into first hour before he finally broke and let Josh pull him close.

* * *

Come lunch, Tyler joined the group again, but he was still shaky, and they could tell Blurry hadn't left yet.

"Are you okay?" Melanie asked worriedly as she eyed the shaking hands and distrustful eyes Tyler sported.

Tyler gave a shaky nod, a half smile, and immediately looked down at his food.

He didn't eat - Patrick noticed that easy.

"Hey now, you have to eat,"

Tyler hummed, glancing up at worried blue eyes.

Josh joined them then with his own food and frowned at Tyler.

But the brunette only put headphones in and blared music as he pushed his food around on his tray.

They all gave up on checking on him when that happened.

"How bad?" Dallon asked quietly.

Josh sighed. "We both skipped first hour and about half of second," he offered. "He's never been this bad,"

"I wish he'd have stayed home where he's comfortable," Dallon said immediately.

Josh frowned. "You'd rather us not know? You know he doesn't believe that we'd stay if we saw how bad it is,"

Gerard hummed at this. "Guess it's time to prove him wrong, huh?" he offered. "He'll never believe it without proof, not with his insecurities being this bad,"

"Question is, how do we do that?" Patrick asked immediately.

Melanie watched Tyler quietly as the conversation went on before she spoke. "What does he value most? What helps him escape?"

"Music, anything creative." Josh said immediately. "I can't tell you the amount of times he's called when his insecurities and anxiety get bad, but every time, he was playing music unless he couldn't."

"Guess that explains the lyrics on his wall in sharpie," Patrick admitted. "He's added to them since the first time I was there."

Gerard grinned. "I know what we can do," he commented. "All of us, or at least most of us, write music of our own. Why don't we get together and make things with some of those lyrics? Something solid that shows our support?"

Josh threw a look at Tyler before he nodded. "You guys do that. Patrick, Pete? I'll need the two of you to help me. He has a song he wrote a while back that he can't complete. Help me with the music for it, we can go through the lyrics."

* * *

It took a week for them to get everything done to standard.

Tyler had a week full of ups and downs. And not once did Blurry leave that week. He hid it well from his family, but his friends could see through the act too well.

And of course, the fact that Tyler still wasn't talking to any of them was worrisome.

He was still out of it, he stayed sitting with them, but kept music playing constantly.

Brendon joined them last Friday morning and sighed.

"Did you finally decide?" Patrick asked curiously.

"Yeah, I did," Brendon said softly.

Dallon smiled faintly and spoke. "So, what'd you go with?"

Brendon shrugged. "One of the quotes from one of the songs I wrote with Ryan.."

Dallon nodded. He knew it was hard for Brendon to use those songs - they held too many negative memories now. The fact that he was laying down that boundary to give Tyler something worthwhile was nice.

Gerard hummed softly, watching Tyler. "You know...I'm curious...do you think it'd help him to give all this a sort of physical form. It's easier to fight something you can see, even in your mind, than it is just a feeling," he offered.

Josh gave the red-haired artist a strange look before he moved to take Tyler's earbuds out.

Tyler glowered at him in response.

"Gee has a question," he said softly, kissing Tyler's cheek.

Tyler's eyes went to Gerard, who smiled, flipping to a blank piece of paper in his sketch book. "Just wondering....do you think it'd help to put it all to a physical form."

"I....I've never thought about that?"

Gerard smiled faintly. "Well, you said your parents and you started giving it a name, that way it was easier to fight. Why not take the next step?"

And just like that, Gerard was sketching Tyler's basic form. He paused once that was done before he looked back up at Tyler. "Details?"

Tyler gave a small smile and took the sketch pad from Gerard, who had moved to sit across from Tyler. He worked quietly for a long moment with everyone watching him.

Gerard watched what he was doing, though, instead of his expression. He saw the basis of what Tyler was aiming at and spoke up again. "Do you need any color?"

"Red." Tyler said immediately without looking up. "A dark red and a black."

Gerard managed to find two sharp colored pencils of the colors Tyler had asked for and handed them over, watching Tyler immediately switch into using them.

Josh's eyes landed on the drawing immediately. "Nice drawing, Gee." he said absently as he watched Tyler.

Gerard shrugged in response.

When Tyler set the pencils down and pushed them over, Gerard put them away, his eyes glued to the drawing that Tyler had added the final details to.

"I'm not sure if I should be worried or not, but that's slightly terrifying." He finally admitted, looking up to Tyler. "I had Patrick do the same when he was having problems with his anger and stuff."

Gerard let his story stop and turned the sketch pad around, digging out a pen and doing a small signature on the bottom of the page, dating it, and adding a small description before tearing it out and handing it to Tyler. "Let's see if it helps you like it did him,"

Tyler hesitated before he took the drawing with a small smile.

* * *

The group waited until after lunch to do anything - there was a school assembly that day, and they always skipped those when given the chance. 

And so, instead of being in an area with the rest of the school, the group sat out on the patio in the chilly air.

Tyler didn't have his music in for a change, but he'd borrowed a guitar from Brendon and was playing it absently.

"Hey Tyjo?" Brendon started after sharing a look with Patrick.

Tyler hummed softly, but didn't look up.

"Could you stop playing for a bit. We....uh...we need to talk, all of us,"

Everyone saw the panic flit across Tyler's expression, but his playing stopped and he set the guitar against the table they were sitting at.

It was quiet for a beat before Patrick gave him an easy smile and pushed a notebook towards him - one of the binders that he knew Patrick kept but never used.

Tyler gave him a wary look, but took the notebook. "What's this...?"

Melanie smiled softly and spoke then. "We all sort of got together and did something for you. To try and help you feel better."

Tyler let his eyes examine the entire group for a moment before he opened the notebook.

The first thing he was greeted with was lyrics - his own writing coupled with Josh's, Patrick's and Pete's. He skimmed what they'd changed, added, then flipped to see music sheets completely filled in for it.

Josh shared a happy smile with Patrick and Pete when he saw Tyler relax a bit.

Tyler continued to flip through the notebook like this - slowly, eyes taking in every detail of what it held.

Following the lyrics and sheet music, he saw Josh's familiar writing in the middle of a page - a quote from the lyrics that had been completed, surrounded by a signature from everyone in the group, along with some sort of little sketch or drawing.

Tyler glanced up at that and shook his head. "You guys are insane," he said quietly.

"Maybe," Josh admitted with a laugh. "As long as it helps, though..."

Tyler nodded and went back to the notebook.

"Can I ask who did what?"

Patrick laughed. "Of course, if it helps. We all put a signature on what we did, but I have to admit I'm curious what everyone else put. We put our own in there without looking at anyone else's. It was hard but...this wasn't for us."

Tyler smiled at this before he nodded in agreement. "I'll assume the 'we're broken people' was Josh's since he doesn't do his own music, and all of you signed it,"

Josh nodded in agreement with this, throwing an arm around Tyler. "Your lyrics, but it seemed appropriate,"

Tyler flipped the page quietly and smiled faintly as he read the line out, eyes following the light sketching behind the words as he did. "'Seasons change, but people don't.'" he glanced up at Patrick and Pete.

Pete raised a hand at that one. "It's an old lyric but..."

"Yeah, I get what you're making it mean," Tyler deadpanned, raising an eyebrow at him. And he did get what he was trying to make it mean - the group would have to change as people to abandon him, and that wouldn't happen.

Tyler spent more time examining the sketches behind the words as he flipped though, taking that time to try to silence Blurry's voice the best he could, that way he could hide.

"'Never let them take the light behind your eyes'." Tyler read out.

Mikey spoke up. "They're Gee's lyrics, unfinished song, but he said I could use some of his if I wanted," he offered.

Tyler gave a shaky laugh. "I think he should finish that one sometime,"

Gerard rolled his eyes. "Maybe I will, one day."

But Tyler couldn't argue with him, even playfully. This was starting to hurt.

Pete's meaning had vanished from his mind and Josh saw the fingers tapping on the table beside the notebook and turned the page for Tyler before giving a worried look to the others.

 **You get that this is their goodbye, don't you?** Tyler flinched minutely at the words echoing in his head.

Josh tightened his arm around Tyler, kissing the side of his head.

And for all the world, Josh could feel the tension leaving Tyler in a shiver. He wasn't sure if it was an act but he continued reading without his voice shaking.

"'I don't know where you're going, but do you got room for one more troubled soul?'" Tyler gave an amused smile at these lyrics. Troubled, that said a lot in such a simple word.

Andy gave a faint smile when Tyler looked up. "They're Patrick's, but.."

Tyler nodded in understanding. He knew that there were going to be borrowed lyrics. But he was impressed by them so far, even if this still hurt him.

He continued reading before his mind could take hold of that so Blurry couldn't make it worse.

"'What's the worst thing I could say? Things are better if I stay.' That's Frank, I know it." Tyler said immediately. "I know they're Gee's, but you're always humming the song, I've seen the lyrics to it."

Frank gave an easy grin to Tyler, who nodded in response and continued on to the next one.

"'I hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene'." Tyler paused, looking at the background - much more detailed than the others. "Gerard?"

"It's new," Gerard offered with a shrug. "I...took the idea of turning those drawings the lyrics kept coming from into a comic. I made you a copy. It's at the very back in one of the pockets. I was going to give everyone a copy as a Christmas gift, but...you needed it more now."

Tyler met his gaze before he smiled and went back to what he was doing. He was feeling better, that was for sure.

Then he paused. He didn't recognise the writing or the style of lyric. "'I've not the foggiest idea just what I'm doing here, but why should I go?'"

He looked up, brown eyes showing his confusion.

Dallon gave him an easy smile. "Those are mine," he offered calmly.

Tyler nodded, and for a moment, he marveled at the fact that Dallon wrote songs as well, giving him something that blocked Blurry's attempt to drag him back down out.

He turned the page and looked up. "This is Patrick's, I already know. You've shown me the lyrics for this one," he offered, then read it out for everyone else. "'When the city goes silent, the ringing in my ears gets violent'. You should perform that one when it's complete,"

Patrick gave him a look. "We'll see."

The last one was simple - the girls had chose not to add anything besides little sketches and he recognised them easily enough by signature.

"'I know the world's a broken bone, but melt your headaches call it home'."

Brendon gave a calm smile - something he just didn't do unless he was dead serious. "Those are mine, as I'm sure you know."

Tyler nodded, looking up at him. "Where are those from?"

"They're from when I was with Ryan," Brendon answered - he knew Tyler had heard the half-hurt tone in his voice, he wasn't going to lie. "I've kept those lyrics buried in a pile of notebooks, but...you deserved something meaningful, that's the most meaningful line I've ever written, at least that can be used for this,"

Tyler got up without a word and moved to pull Brendon into a hug.

And just like that, the entire group relaxed and traded smiles. They'd gotten their Tyler back.

Once Tyler was back in his seat, Josh spoke. "Feeling better?"

"Thank you, all of you,"

Patrick laughed. "Sure. Keep that notebook. We'll add to it as time goes by,"

* * *

It took a week for Tyler to explain everything outright to the girls so they understood why it was so hard on him. 

And it took two days more than that for Tyler to return to his usual self.

The group had never been happier to see Tyler with a notebook open in front of him with bright eyes and a half grin as he wrote, humming softly from time to time.

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, maybe I should've thought this one through a bit more but....  
> eh, what the hell.  
> I've decided to add another "side-character" to this mess of a story. Braden Barrie/SayWeCanFly. He's been one of the only artists I've listened to since autumn began, and I've been completely in love with his music for four or five years now. If you haven't listened to his stuff, I encourage you to do so.  
> That being said, that means nothing in terms of me being able to keep 'in character' with him, hence why he's a 'side character'.

Tyler came in tired not even a week before Christmas holidays.

He gave the group a bleary smile as he sat down.

"Rough night?" Josh asked worriedly.

Tyler shook his head, then shrugged. "I was working on something,"

And that's what the entire mess was, honestly. The talent show that had happened last year had been moved back before Christmas, and once again, the entire group had settled into the idea of performing just to have fun and show off for the rest of the group.

Tyler wasn't as worried - Josh and him had decided to do the song that Patrick, Pete, and Josh had finished for him when he was having such a hard time with Blurry.

But it still bothered him to not have something to work on, so he'd been working on putting old songs to music, fixing lyrics, and the entire group could see the strain he was putting himself under doing so.

* * *

"Are you excited?" Patrick asked Tyler during their first class together - third hour maths.

Tyler shrugged. "Sort of." he admitted, giving Patrick a faint smile. "What about you? I know you and Pete said you guys almost had everything perfect,"

Patrick nodded in agreement. "It was a lot of arguing over lyrics. The music's done, but we've still got to finish the last few lines."

Tyler threw a glance up when he heard the person in front of them shift slightly. He was trying not to disturb anyone else around them, because he know both Patrick and him would feel bad if they bothered someone else. But he didn't have to worry about it.

"You're tense," Patrick commented quietly.

Tyler shrugged in response.

* * *

Lunch couldn't come soon enough for Tyler.

Once he joined the entire group in their little corner of the cafeteria, he set his tray of food down and laid his head against Josh's arm.

Josh gave him a searching look before shifting to wrap an arm around slumped shoulders. "Actually get some sleep tonight, please," he remarked softly.

Tyler hummed quietly in response to that.

Dallon joined them last, someone tagging with him. "Hey guys!"

Tyler lifted his head and stared at him blankly.

"And you're still exhausted. Sorry, Tyler." Dallon offered with a slightly apologetic smile.

Tyler gave a faint smile and shook his head. "It's fine, Dallon." he countered with a shrug. "Who's this with you?"

And just like that, Dallon went on doing introductions that Tyler tuned out after getting a name to match to a new face - Braden.

He felt more than heard Josh laugh faintly a few moments later, after Tyler had laid his head back down and let his eyes close. 

Then there were hands pushing him up and he made a noise somewhere between confusion and discontent, chocolate eyes opening to meet caramel.

"Eat, Ty." Josh told him. "You can nap after school,"

Tyler huffed, but did as he'd been told.

* * *

The day before the actual talent show came with a lot of jokes along with anxiety.

Tyler was calm, though.

Braden had become one of those that drifted in and out of the group randomly - sort of like how Frank, Gerard, and Mikey had been at first.

But he was there when Tyler got there that morning and the brunette managed a smile in greeting to him as he took a seat.

"And the most anxious one of us is the calm one right now," Pete remarked with a laugh.

Tyler huffed in response, but grinned. "Not my fault that you guys finished the song for me," he pointed out. "Or I'd be just as anxious as you,"

This got a few bouts of laughter from the rest of the group, and then Tyler looked to Braden. "What about you, everything worked out?"

Braden gave a nod, a quick smile. He didn't talk as much as most of the group, but when he did it was usually something good, worth hearing.

"Can't wait to hear it," Tyler offered kindly.

* * *

The day was full of random bursts of energy followed by a calmness that Tyler wasn't sure what to do with.

But the following morning, he came in bouncing with nerves and gave a wry smile to the others. Brendon was calm, Dallon taking enough of the nerves for both of them.

Patrick, Pete, Andy and Joe were all huddled together going over extremely last minute details, but they were all calm enough unless you knew what to look for - Pete's hands stayed in a constant state of clenched, Patrick kept messing with his hair, with the fedora in one hand. Andy was tapping fingers against his arms, or the table, or any other surface he could reach. And Joe was shooting looks around as he spoke.

Tyler gave a wry grin at this, continuing his examination of the group. Braden was joining them just then, guitar case in one hand, a travel cup of what Tyler knew was coffee in the other.

Gerard was drawing, Frank watching him and chattering away absently. Mikey was staring off into space, half listening to everyone.

Melanie - who had also decided to perform this year - was playing with her fingers, humming quietly.

And Josh was sitting beside him tapping on the table - never sticking to a single beat long enough for Tyler to identify what it was from. But he was calm, relaxed in his seat with a wild grin showing.

* * *

The morning was filled with these small moments. Not just within the group either. Tyler loved seeing it in a sort of twisted way.

Come time for the talent show, Tyler was full of energy.

 He paid attention to the performances from those out of the group just enough to be polite - it was the same as last year. 

Braden was the first out of the group to perform, and Tyler smiled easily as he spoke into the mic as he tuned the guitar in his hands - acoustic and bearing writing in sharpie over the front facing of it.

Once he started playing and his voice joined, Tyler shared looks with the rest of the group. It was different, but it was nice.

Patrick gave a subtle nod when Tyler met his eyes before they both went back to watching Braden.

His stage presence wasn't over the top like Brendon's tended to be, but it was soothing.

_"I can't fix it all but I'll hold your hand_

_Until the headlights crack and we drive head first_

_for the graves in the yard of this New Jersey church."_

Gerard and Mikey shared looks beside Tyler, and Frank gave a quiet laugh in response to it, but Tyler didn't bother to ask what was going on. 

_"And the closest I've come to the feeling of knives_

_Is the pain that I feel from the thorns in your side_

_Because they poke right through your sweater_

_And rip the fabric that holds our illusions together._

_And the antidote for all the things_

_that tear us up from seam to seam_

_is the space between our eyes_

_I never would have been here otherwise,"_

Tyler grinned faintly when Braden threw a look to the group.

Josh was hiding his own grin at the lyrics. He was familiar with the underhanded meanings after working with Tyler on his music.

_"And I suppose that with our broken wings_

_We'll have to learn to use our feet_

_And maybe we will find a reason for our lives_

_well I guess we'll have to try, won't we?"_

Braden's eyes flashed in the lights when he looked up from his guitar. It wasn't often, but it was enough that the entire meaning got across to anyone listening close enough. 

_"I could tell you the truth but the truth is much worse_

_So I'll tell you a lie and you'll never be hurt._

_And the closest I've come to the feeling of fine_

_is the joy that I feel from your hands on my side_

_Because they poke right through your sweater_

_and rip the fabric that holds my delusions together."_

And just like that, Josh felt Tyler tense up beside him. He threw a worried look over at him, but he just saw Tyler watching Braden in surprise - something that meant a lot during a time like this. 

_"You should just let this go, but I can't tell you so._

_No I can't and I won't, no I can't and I won't._

_This body isn't mine anymore._

_You threw away the keys and locked the door."_

The throaty half-screams that Braden did were enough to jar everyone. 

As soon as he rejoined the group after he performed, Tyler spoke. "Good job," he commented.

"Are you okay?" Braden asked worriedly, noticing that Tyler wasn't actually looking at anyone.

Josh watched Tyler for a moment before he spoke up. "He just has a lot to think about now."

"You definitely set the bar high,"

And just like that, they all settled down again.

The next of the group to go was Patrick and Pete's group.

"Why do I get the feeling they're about to be extremely cheeky?" Tyler asked softly.

Josh tilted his head before he spoke. "Must be because they're them, and because we know how their lyrics usually run.

And as soon as the music started, Frank's attention perked up.

Patrick's voice joined right about then.

_"It's all a game of this or that, now versus then_

_better off against worse for wear._

_And you're someone who knows someone who knows someone I once knew,_

_I just want to be a part of that._

_This road outside my house is paved with good intentions,_

_hired a construction crew, 'cause it's hell on the engine_

_You are the dreamer, and we are the dream._

_I could write it better than you ever felt it."_

Tyler gave Josh a knowing grin before he shook his head, looking back at the group of four on stage just as Patrick thew a grin to them. 

_"So hum hallelujah,_

_just off the key of reason._

_I thought I loved you_

_It was just how you looked in the light._

_A teenage vow in the parking lot_

_'Til tonight do us part'_

_I sing the blues and swallow them too."_

Frank snorted then and shook his head. "Cheeky fucks," he grumbled. 

Tyler gave him a strange look, but said nothing.

Pete ended up doing back up for Patrick during the bridge of the song, and as soon as it was over and they'd joined the group again, Frank spoke.

"Do you even realize how fucking cheeky that was?"

Patrick gave him an easy smile. "Of course we know,"

Tyler gave a huff. "Good, someone want to explain to me why it was so cheeky?"

"Hallelujah is set in what people refer to as the key of reason," Josh offered softly to Tyler. "It's a lesson that's always drilled in the first week of music here. They took it to the key below that,"

Tyler stared at him for a second before he laughed.

Patrick gave a good natured grin. "Most people won't get it, don't worry."

It took a little bit before anyone else got called up from the group - Melanie went, startling the group slightly with her song - then Tyler and Josh.

Tyler spoke as Josh got comfortable and he got the keyboard settled where it needed to be. "So...this is one that I didn't write alone. It's sort of a weird idea for me to do a song that others helped me with the lyrics for, but...a promise is a promise."

Once he was finished and he got a nod from Josh, he stopped rambling and they started playing.

Tyler's voice was soft when he started singing, almost drowned out by the music.

_"I do not know why I would go_

_In front of you and hide my soul_

_'cause you're the only one who knows it,_

_yeah you're the only one who knows it._

_And I will hide behind my pride_

_Don't know why I think I can lie_

_'Cause there's a screen on my chest."_

Patrick shared a smile with Pete as he listened. 

Pete gave a thumbs up before throwing an arm around the blond.

Tyler glanced out and met their gazes with a smile as he sang.

_"While you're doing fine, there's some people and I_

_Who have a really tough time getting through this life_

_So excuse us while we sing to the sky."_

Josh smiled from behind the drums quietly. 

He knew that Tyler was a bit strange about some of his songs, and this was one of them for all intents and purposes, but he seemed perfectly fine now that he was going.

_"We're broken,_

_we're broken,_

_we're broken,_

_We're broken people."_

Tyler was smiling when him and Josh joined the rest of the group. 

"That was impressive," Brendon admitted. "They didn't show us the song that they finished for you,"

Tyler shrugged.

Brendon, Dallon, and Spencer got called up not long after that.

There wasn't more than a moment for them to get ready before they had started - something which surprised everyone and was exactly what the group had expected from Brendon.

_"This is gospel for the fallen ones_

_Locked away in permanent slumber_

_Assembling their philosophies_

_from pieces of broken memories._

_Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues_

_conspire against the odds_

_But they haven't seen the best of us yet."_

Tyler grinned faintly as he watched Brendon. 

He was slightly worried - he'd never heard anything like this from them.

He could see the others were worried too, which didn't help.

_"Cause these words are knives and often leave scars_

_The fear of falling apart_

_And truth be told, I never was yours._

_The fear, the fear of falling apart."_

Dallon's voice, soft and barely audible even through the microphone he was singing into, sounded. Tyler couldn't make out the words, but he felt Josh tense up immediately after. 

_"This is gospel for the vagabonds,_

_Ne'er-do-wells and insufferable bastards_

_Confessing their apostasies_

_Led away by imperfect imposters._

_Don't try and sleep through the end of the world and bury me alive_

_'Cause I won't give up without a fight."_

When they rejoined the group, Josh immediately spoke. "Alright, Bren, you're about to tell us what the fuck that was about."

Brendon met his eyes before he gave a faint smile. "Let's wait until after this is all over."

That was enough for them.

Gerard shared a wary look with Frank. Sure, his boyfriend didn't know all the lyrics to what they were about to do, but he knew enough that he'd understand why Gerard was suddenly worried.

They didn't go until last - which was something Gerard didn't like.

Everyone was perfectly content, though, and Frank gave Gerard a quick squeeze to his hand before he contented himself to playing.

The playing got Tyler's attention immediately.

Gerard's voice didn't waver at all when he started singing.

_"Now come one, come all to this tragic affair._

_Wipe off that make up, what's in is despair_

_So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot_

_You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not."_

Gerard looked down right about then, but his voice didn't lose meaning at all. 

_"If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see,_

_you can find out first hand what it's like to be me."_

Frank's eyes moved from his guitar to Gerard's form in shock right about then. 

Gerard glanced up, brown-hazel eyes going to the group as he continued.

Tyler could already see they were all about to have a long talk after this was over.

_"Another contusion, my funeral jag_

_Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag._

_You've got front row seats to the penitence ball_

_When I grow up, I want to be nothing at all!"_

When the music shifted, Tyler raised an eyebrow. Gerard was much more animated during this part. 

His voice didn't lose any meaning, didn't change much at all. But he was smiling more, like it was all this huge joke that no one else understood.

And when it did change, Tyler watched Gerard take the microphone from it's stand and move to stand with one arm propped on Frank's shoulder, hand holding the mic, other hand propped on his hip.

Pete groaned in response, but it was good-natured and followed by a laugh.

_"And in my honest observation,_

_during this operation_

_Found a complication in your heart_

_so long,_

_'cause now you've got_

_maybe just two weeks to live_

_Is that the most the both of you can give?"_

Gerard gave a faint smile to Frank as he moved away just as the music picked up. 

Tyler watched him carefully - he was so alive on stage and it was infectious but it was still worrying.

_"If life ain't just a joke,_

_then why are we laughing?"_

Gerard's group left the stage, and immediately, the entire group left. 

"Alright, one of you best start talking," Patrick said immediately, looking none too happy at what had just happened.

"Well, all of you know what my mess is," Gerard remarked.

Patrick glared at him. "Oh no. You may be self depreciating as hell on a normal basis, but you just fucking said that you _hate_ yourself, on stage!" he snapped.

Tyler backed away immediately.

Gerard noticed and spoke. "'Trick, maybe you want to calm down," he said.

Patrick went to snap again, but followed Gerard's look to see Tyler looking torn and he nodded, immediately apologizing.

Tyler shook his head in response. "Deal with Bren, Patrick. Gee, could I talk to you for a second?"

Gerard nodded, following Tyler out of hearing range.

Josh watched them go. "Well, that's Gee handled. Bren?"

"I think we all already know what mine was."

Dallon spoke softly. "It was my idea, actually," he offered. "It was just....a way that he could vent all the hurt he's felt because of the mess with Ryan and..."

This got a nod.

Tyler sighed softly when Gerard and him stopped. "Why do you hate yourself?"

Gerard gave him a long look, as if he hadn't been expecting that question. "What...?"

Tyler gave him a deadpan look. "Why do you hate yourself? Is it physical, emotional, what?"

"What difference does it make?" Gerard asked immediately.

Tyler glared at him. "It makes one hell of a _difference_ , Gerard! You think I don't get it? I do. But why would you hate yourself when you've never done anything but try to help others?"

Gerard gave him a look and held his arms out. "Hard not to when you've got shitty relatives making you feel like shit about everything."

Tyler nodded. "Your parents?"

"They're okay." Gerard answered immediately.

"But not what they should be," Tyler finished. "Alright. We work through it as a group. But don't....don't hate someone that so many people like, because that's a slap in the face to us,"

Gerard was quiet before he sighed and moved to rejoin the group.

Tyler gave himself a moment before he followed.

"Everything good?" Josh asked the two when they rejoined them.

Tyler gave a nod. "I'm gonna head home," he commented, kissing Josh's cheek before he disappeared.

Josh turned to look at Gerard. "You alright?"

Gerard nodded, giving a faint smile. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Go after him. He'll need someone,"

"What happened?" Patrick asked, worry leaking into his words and Josh left.

Gerard shook his head. "I could see the doubt in his eyes through the entire mess."

That's all it took for those who knew - Blurry might come back, which was something they didn't want or need at that point.

* * *

The last day before break was spent with laughter and jokes. 

Even in light of the previous day, things fell into their normal routine easily, which was something Tyler was thankful for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used in this:  
> "The Space Between Our Eyes" by SayWeCanFly  
> "Hum Hallelujah" by Fall Out Boy  
> "Screen" by Twenty One Pilots  
> "This Is Gospel" by Panic! At The Disco  
> and "The End/Dead!" by My Chemical Romance.


	22. Chapter 22

Christmas break was slow and just exactly what Tyler felt he needed.

As much as he loved his group of friends, he was tired.

And so, the first week of break, he was thankful that everyone left him be.

As soon as that week ended, though, he woke up to texts from everyone.

Tyler sighed, going through them quietly.

Josh's stood out - _apparent meeting @ park 2day. idea y?_

Tyler hummed quietly, going back through messages before he typed out his answer.

He didn't know details, just that it was something important.

As soon as he'd settled everything as far as text messages went, he got up and went about getting ready.

He didn't know what it was with the group and meeting up randomly without a heads up, but he wasn't fond of it at that moment.

Snow was beginning to fall when Josh and him set out to the park.

Once they got there and were under the shelter with everyone else, Patrick spoke up. "Sorry for calling you guys out. Just..."

Tyler could see the tense worry on Patrick's face. It had to be something bad. His eyes immediately scanned the rest of the group. There were some people missing - Gerard and Mikey weren't there, Pete wasn't there.

"Wait...where's Gee, Mikey, and Pete?" Tyler asked immediately.

Patrick gave a wry smile to Tyler. "Pete's in therapy right now," he offered. "They have him back on his medicine,"

But the worry was clear in Patrick's voice. Tyler didn't ask.

"And Gee and Mikey weren't allowed to come along today - Gee's sick." Frank offered.

Josh frowned. "Wait....hold on...Patrick?"

Patrick hummed quietly.

"Do they have him back on what he OD'ed on last year?" Josh asked, light brown eyes holding mild shock.

Patrick gave a wry smile before he nodded. "They do."

Tyler stared at Patrick. "I didn't know he OD'ed...." he mumbled.

But he now understood why they were there. And it was just the group from last year, he realized belatedly.

As everyone settled down, Patrick started talking. "Like I said, sorry for calling everyone out here, but I thought Pete'd like to see everyone after therapy.."

"It's fine. We totally get it," Tyler offered.

Dallon gave a wry smile. "Since we have time, how about Bren and I go get hot drinks for everyone?"

There was a bit of discussion and passing of money to the two, and within the next couple minutes Brendon and Dallon had left.

* * *

Pete got there about a minute after Brendon and Dallon came back with drinks.

Dallon gave an easy smile as he handed Pete a travel cup of coffee. 

Pete wrapped his hands around it happily, smiling thankfully at Dallon before taking a sip of it, moving to wrap his arms around Patrick.

Tyler smiled at the scene as the group settled into their usual.

* * *

It was late afternoon when Tyler got home.

"Hey, sweetie!"

Tyler smiled at his mom's voice. "Hi, mom," he offered, moving to join her in preparing dinner.

"How was the gathering?"

Tyler's smile slipped slightly before it returned. "It was fun."

Not for the first time, Tyler was glad that his mom didn't press for information.

But at the same time, he almost wished she had asked for more information this time around, so that he could've vented his own anxiety about the entire situation.

He went to sleep with all sorts of thoughts swimming in his head, knowing that morning would be hell.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed something fluff and cute to write after I posted the two Septiplier stories I've posted within the last twenty four hours.....hope no one minds.

The morning didn't bode as bad as Tyler had feared it would. Just a minor headache, but he could deal with that easily.

He glanced at his phone when it went off before he sighed and grabbed it, answering it before it could continue it's onslaught.

"Hello?" Tyler said into the phone before setting it to speaker and laying it on his chest.

Josh's voice came through the phone, amused. " _Did you just wake up, Ty?"_

Tyler groaned. "Don't be an ass," he grumbled before giving a quiet laugh. "What's up?"

" _I was wondering if you'd be up to a sort of date today?"_

Tyler was quiet for a long moment before he gave a fond smile. "What time?"

" _Be ready in an hour?"_

Tyler gave a positive answer and hung up before dragging himself away from his bed to start getting ready to leave. 

When he joined the rest of his family down in the kitchen, dressed with damp hair, his dad raised an eyebrow at him. "Where are you off to today?"

Tyler gave a beaming smile as he got his breakfast. "I have a date," he offered.

And for all the shock that came across the expressions of his family, Tyler couldn't feel anxious about it as he ate.

He blocked out most of the conversation as he ate and was cleaning his dishes up when there was a knock on the door.

Zach went to answer the door before anyone else could move. "Tyler! Josh is here!"

Tyler laughed in response, grinning over when Zach and Josh entered the kitchen.

Josh gave him a faint smile when he saw the near-permanent grin. "Excited?"

"Are you kidding me?" Tyler asked as he finished up and dried his hands. "Of course I'm excited!"

"Anxious?" Josh asked after a moment, smile fading slightly.

Tyler shook his head with a knowing grin. "Not even slightly,"

Josh brightened again at this.

* * *

Roughly ten minutes after that, the two were heading out, talking softly as they left the Joseph home. 

"So...can I know what the plan is?" Tyler asked, giving Josh a long look.

Josh shook his head. "Not yet," he laughed.

Tyler nodded, but suddenly the anxiety he hadn't felt earlier in the morning was starting to show up. Not bad enough to show, but enough that he was worrying.

Josh smiled at him, though, and grabbed his hand and Tyler returned the smile easily, contenting himself with chattering away as they walked.

* * *

"So...this is just...it's something that I found when I was little," Josh said as Tyler stared at a worn tree house. "I thought you'd like it,"

Tyler gave a faint smile to Josh. "Is this where you hide out when you want to be alone?"

Josh nodded in agreement. "I kind of prepared us a little picnic and I have my phone, we could just watch YouTube for a while?"

"Sounds like a plan," Tyler replied with a grin.


	24. Chapter 24

Pete didn't throw a party until right after New Years, about a week before school restarted for everyone.

Tyler found himself glad for this. About a week before Christmas, he closed himself off from the group. He knew it probably worried them sick, but he couldn't bring himself to care enough to actually talk to any of them, tell them what was going on with him.

Because honestly? He didn't know.

Blurry showed up every now and again, usually made some snide comment then left.

But Tyler suddenly wished that Blurry was there so he had an excuse to feel like he was.

He heard a knock on the front door the day of Pete's party and got up, grabbing his notebook and pencil and shoving them in a bag with his phone and headphones before he headed downstairs to see Josh standing in the living room.

"Hey, how you been?" Josh asked softly, worry clear in his voice and eyes. "You just kinda...stopped talking to us normally,"

Tyler gave an easy smile - fake but good enough to fool even him. "I'm fine. I've just been writing a lot more - and he wasn't lying. He had filled up an entire notebook in the space he hadn't been talking to the group normally.

Josh nodded and they headed out.

Pete greeted them as they entered. There was no fear of mistletoe this year - Pete had forewent it in favor of games this time due to it being after New Years.

Patrick gave Tyler a worried look, but nobody asked why Tyler had closed down.

And for the first hour of the party, Tyler talked and laughed and fooled even himself into believing he was happy.

Then Josh started tapping a beat out on the table absently and Tyler tilted his head, listening to the beat for a moment before his eyes lit up strangely.

The next moment, in a flurry of movement, Tyler had his pencil and notebook out and had curled himself into a corner of an armchair away from everyone and was writing.

Josh gave him a strange look - he'd seen Tyler excited about lyrics, but never to that point.

"Got something good?" Brendon asked Tyler in amusement.

Tyler hummed softly before he answered. "Just what I've been trying to get since before Christmas," he deadpanned.

He didn't say anything else no matter who spoke to him.

Once he had a first draft down, he spoke. "Josh?"

"We'll get started tomorrow," Josh promised. "You gonna show me what you got?"

Tyler shook his head.

"Tyler..." Josh started, worry creeping into his voice. Even now, Tyler only hid the lyrics completely if they'd been started by Blurry coming back.

"No, no...this one is important...the lyrics have to be perfect first!" Tyler countered, giving Josh a look.

Josh searched chocolate eyes for a moment before he relented with a nod.

Tyler spent the rest of the time going between playing games with everyone and working on perfecting the lyrics while he talked to everyone.

Pete shook his head. "What's this song about, anyway? I've never seen you obsess over a song like this,"

Tyler paused for a moment before he glanced up at Pete. "It's just....old feelings that never got vented," he offered weakly.

It was enough, though, because he got a smile from Pete and the topic was changed again.

* * *

The following day, Tyler was up early and ready to get started working. 

Josh smiled as he opened the door for Tyler, moving aside so that Tyler could bring his keyboard in. "Excited?"

Tyler grinned at him. "Of course,"

They had been working for about ten minutes when Josh's mom came to the door.

Josh stopped playing to look at her where she was standing in the doorway. "Hi mom,"

Tyler glanced up, hands falling away from keys with a smile. "Hello, Mrs. Dun,"

"Good morning, boys. As nice as this song sounds, could you maybe shut the door?"

Tyler's smile turned shy and apologetic immediately. "Of course. Sorry to disturb you,"

Once she was gone, Josh closed the door and gave Tyler an amused look. "Oops,"

Tyler rolled his eyes.

* * *

"Is this one you'll be sharing with everyone?" Josh asked once they had the music down. 

Tyler glanced up from the lyrics for a moment before he shrugged. "I was thinking about it," he admitted. "I don't know how good an idea it is, though,"

"Why's that?"

Tyler hummed before he sighed. "I wasn't lying about it being a lot of feelings that never got vented out," he replied. "And most people won't understand with how it's worded and I like that about it, I really do. Because the meaning would get to the one person who needs to hear it the most,"

Josh smiled faintly - he knew it was important if Tyler felt this strongly for it. "How do you want to do this, then?"

Tyler shrugged. "I don't know. I think I'll keep it secret for a while,"

* * *

When they got back to school, Tyler had the lyrics perfected. 

"How's that song going?" Patrick asked when Tyler joined them.

Tyler nodded slightly as he spoke. "It's completely done," he offered. "But I want to give everyone time to settle from holidays before I share,"

"Alright,"

* * *

And to their credit, they respected Tyler's wishes. 

It was two weeks into the new term when Tyler told everyone that he was ready to share the song.

Only this time, it wasn't going to be one of those things that he wanted to do around someone's family - it was just for the group at that point.

They all decided to stay after one day - even got permission to use the band room and a set of drums.

The day they stayed after was a day Gerard had an art event after school anyway - he said he'd be more than happy to skip it as it was just a short meeting anyway.

The moment they entered the empty band room, though, everyone saw how Tyler's smile vanished and he immediately went to work getting his keyboard hooked up - he'd brought it and left it in the band room to be used after school.

"Any clue what we're about to hear?" Dallon asked Josh quietly.

Josh shook his head. "He wouldn't let me see the lyrics at all, just hear what we did for the music."

By the time they were set up, everyone else seemed a bit on edge as they pulled chairs out of their stacks to sit down.

Patrick spoke up, though, as Tyler shifted slightly behind his keyboard. "Should we worry about this?"

Tyler chewed his bottom lip before he answered. "Probably," he replied with a shrug. "Guess we'll find out,"

He gave them plenty of time to back out of staying before he started.

No one missed the fact that Josh was watching Tyler closely, either.

" _I know what you think in the morning,_

_when the sun shines on the ground,_

_and shows what you have done,_

_It shows where your mind has gone._

_And you swear to your parents_

_that it will never happen again,_

_I know, I know what that means."_

Pete suddenly tensed up - staring at Tyler in bewilderment. 

Tyler met his gaze for a moment before he looked away again.

_"Let's take this a second at a time,_

_let's take this one song, this one rhyme,"_

Tyler watched as understanding slowly filtered through everyone's expressions. He hated it, because he could see some of the shock in his friends' eyes and it hurt to know that this was going to hurt them. 

_"We've turned our hands to guns, trade in our thumbs for ammunition,_

_I must forewarn you, of my disorder, or my condition,_

_'Cause when the sun sets, it upsets what's left of my invested interest,_

_Interested in putting my fingers to my head,"_

Tyler heard Josh make a quiet noise of discontent with these lines, but ignored it for the moment. 

Once it ended, though, Josh spoke. "Some warning might have been nice, Tyler,"

Tyler looked down as he undid everything to his keyboard. "Would you have helped me with it if you'd known?"

No answer came from Josh - it was Pete who spoke. "How old are those feelings?"

"They start about four years back, end currently." Tyler answered immediately. "It happens, it's why I started writing, because I was too scared to follow through on those feelings."

"Thank God for that," Pete deadpanned, giving Tyler a strange look.

Tyler glanced up to see this and nodded. "It's a new song, but....old feelings that weren't vented out tend to come back with a vengeance so..."

"Best to get them out,"

Josh was quiet for a long moment before he moved to pull Tyler into a tight hug. "You should've fucking told me what this was for,"

Tyler gave a quiet laugh.

And just like that, everyone started their discussion.

Tyler knew he had a lot to answer for - he was fine doing that.

Once they'd all calmed down, he spoke. "You realize that that song wouldn't mean shit to most people?"

"Not unless they knew the feelings personally, yeah," Gerard deadpanned. "Picked up on that,"

"All of you understood it," Tyler pointed out.

* * *

In the end, Tyler was glad he'd done the song - he'd gotten to know everyone better, he got to get rid of old feelings. 

He felt strangely calm through everything afterwards, even when Blurry showed back up that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is "Guns For Hands".   
> I don't know if that's actually what it represents but...it's what it makes me think of.


	25. Chapter 25

The days following Tyler sharing the last song with the group were full of chatter. He didn't think of any lyrics either, which was strange but a small relief.

He'd fallen into a calm routine - Blurry interrupted it, though, from time to time.

Usually it wasn't too bad, because it was when he was around someone else from his friend group.

And so, when Blurry's voice sounded in his maths class - the only one he didn't have anyone else from the group there in - he tensed up slightly.

The test that he was taking at that moment to a backseat to the sudden fear going through him.

He took a moment to calm himself down and finish the test before he lost his focus again.

Lunch directly after came in a blur. He sat down with his food seeming more distant than usual.

He got a few worried looks in response.

Pete was the first to speak, though. "Tyler...?" he asked warily - he recognised the look in Tyler's eyes too well by now.

Tyler hummed in response, holding his gaze for a moment before he shrugged in response to the silent questions.

"This year is definitely not going over as smooth as last year," Brendon remarked.

* * *

Through the rest of the day, Tyler took part in conversations, ignoring Blurry's voice in his head. 

Once he was home, though, he locked himself away in his room, immediately going to work on music.

And so, once he had settled down, Blurry's voice came back and Tyler found himself stuck in his old routine.

He threw a glance to his phone absently when it went off, but he didn't bother to answer.

Instead, he curled up on his bed, letting himself doze off with Blurry talking in his mind.

He came back to consciousness not long after, though, to his mom opening the door. "Tyler, sweetie, Patrick and Josh are here to see you,"

Tyler nodded in understanding and within the next moment, the two were in the room with him with the door shut. "Why are you here?"

"Because you're not acting like yourself," Patrick pointed out. "Everyone's worried sick and you won't answer your phone!"

Tyler shook his head. "I was just..."

Josh glanced at the keyboard - turned on and knocked over onto the floor, sheet music scattered around and tore to shreds.  He sighed as he picked up one of the larger shreds to look at it. "Destroying blank sheet music?"

Tyler hummed softly. "Venting," he deadpanned.

Patrick glanced at the wall behind Tyler's bed, a habit he'd gained. "Anything new?"

Tyler followed his gaze before he grinned and grabbed a sharpie, moving to stand at the head of his bed, quickly scrawling a new line that had been playing in his head since he'd gotten home.

Of course, Josh grabbed him when he went to fall moving away and pulled him close while Patrick read the line.

"Is Blurry back?" Josh asked softly.

Tyler nodded absently, relaxing in Josh's arms.

"You're out of it," Patrick pointed out. "What's going on?"

"I don't know."

And honestly, he didn't. He just felt disconnected in a way he hadn't in a long time.

Patrick nodded. "I'll go call Pete here, he'll know more than I do. Then I'll text everyone to tell them you're alright,"

"Thanks 'Trick," Tyler said softly with a half smile.

* * *

When Pete got there, he paused to greet Tyler's family happily and introduce himself before darting upstairs after Patrick. He threw a wide-eyed look at the wall of quotes before going to sit with Josh and Tyler. "You look like a wreck and a half,"

Tyler gave a faint laugh, sounding borderline hysterical.

Pete was quick to check vitals - a habit he had when trying to figure out what was wrong with someone else. "'Trick told me Blurry was back," he offered softly as he worked. "Your vitals are okay from what I can tell. What's going on?"

Tyler shook his head.

Josh sighed. "He's just....I don't know, I had Patrick ask his parents if this has happened before. They said it had, but only when his anxiety is bad."

"Bad enough to cause suicidal tendencies?" Pete asked worriedly. "Because I've never seen him like this,"

Josh shrugged, then nodded. "I guess so."

Pete looked at Tyler, who had his eyes closed as he listened to Josh's heartbeat. "Stay with him. Is he on medication?"

"He isn't,"

The new voice surprised Pete, who turned to look at the form leaning against the doorframe. "They suggested it, but it was too risky with how panicky he gets about everything," a bitter smile followed these words. "I'm Zack, by the way, Tyler's brother. Mom sent me to see how everything was going,"

Pete nodded. "He's relaxed," he offered. "'Trick?"

Patrick hummed softly, glancing up from his phone.

"Go ask Josh's family if he can stay over with me? I'm gonna ask the same of Tyler's parents. I'd rather be able to keep an eye on him," Pete said softly.

Patrick nodded, disappearing easily.

Zack smiled faintly in response to this. "I'll go talk to them. Thanks,"

Pete didn't have time to respond before Zack disappeared.

Josh glanced at Pete. "He's about half asleep."

"Probably a shock to his system to be this anxious," Pete deadpanned.

Tyler made a soft humming noise before he blinked his eyes open. "You're loud," he told the two of them.

Josh laughed quietly, kissing the top of Tyler's head.

* * *

Tyler was better come morning, which made everyone feel better. 

But he couldn't remember much of anything he'd done the evening before.

No one filled him in on most of it.

But the Friday after it all happened, Tyler came in with sharpie on his arm.

Josh raised an eyebrow, moving to grab Tyler's hand to read what was scribbled on Tyler's arm.

Tyler huffed. "Song lyric. I didn't have time to jot it down in my notebook,"

"Sounds promising," Josh deadpanned.

Gerard was the one who spoke next. "What's it say?"

Tyler was the one who answered - voice seeming perfectly content with the lyric and sharing it. "'Sometimes to stay alive, you've gotta kill your mind'."

Pete gave Tyler a surprised look. "I don't know if that's bleak or clever."

"Depends on how it's used,"

Tyler smiled as everyone settled into an easy conversation.


	26. Chapter 26

Tyler and Josh spent the weekend working on the new song Tyler had started with the lyrics on his arm.

"Oh, hey! Did you finish that one Brendon read out to us last year?" Josh asked when they were taking a break for food - they'd gone to Taco Bell and were enjoying people watching as they ate.

Tyler shrugged. "Lyrically, yeah. I haven't thought about the music yet. Too many other ideas to focus on first,"

Josh nodded in understanding.

* * *

And of course, Monday morning, Tyler came into school looking a tired mess with his notebook open and hugged to his chest, pencil between this teeth until he sat down. 

Braden laughed faintly and pushed the coffee he'd picked up for the brunette over.

Tyler grinned at him. "Thanks! I'll pay you back!"

"Don't bother. The others told me you'd probably need it today," Braden responded. "It's homemade,"

Tyler nodded, taking a sip and humming in appreciation before he got back to working on what he had in his notebook.

"Another one?" Josh asked as he joined them - later than usual.

Tyler paused his writing once he had finished a line and pushed the notebook to Josh. "Read. I need an opinion, and then I have a serious question,"

Josh gave him a surprised look, but nodded and started reading as he sat down. He chewed his lip once he finished reading. "It's good, but....I feel like I'm about to not like the question,"

Tyler gave a wry smile as he took his notebook. "Well...." he started, shooting Braden a half-worried look before he looked back at Josh. "I have an idea as far as the actual singing goes. It's kinda like what Gee had me do when things got really bad, the drawing?"

Josh nodded, motioning for him to continue. It didn't escape his notice that the rest of the group was paying attention to them. He found himself glad that Dallon had thought to inform Braden of Blurry's existence so early.

"Well...it's sort of a two-parted idea, isn't it?" Tyler said, and Josh knew he was about to beat around the bush and not actually explain his idea.

"The part that's only off by some of the words?" Josh guessed. "I'm going to assume one represents you and the other represents Blurry?"

Tyler grinned at Josh suddenly and gave a nod. "I think I can actually pitch my voice to match his, but I..."

"You didn't want me freaking the fuck out first time I heard it." Josh finished for him. "Finish the lyrics, we'll work on the music and we'll see what we manage?"

Once Tyler was back to work on the lyrics, Gerard spoke up. "How bad is this gonna be?"

Josh gave an amused smile before he answered. "Guess we'll have to see, won't we?"

* * *

It took a good week for the music and lyrics to be done. 

During that time, the group had issues come up relatively normally - Brendon had a falling out with his parents and had patched everything up, Pete had had a depressive episode and had to return to going to therapy out of fear of breaking his promise to Patrick, and Melanie started getting pushed around and bullied by some of the harsher students - the group had run interference as soon as they realized what was going on.

But at the same time, they had good things happen too - Melanie and Ashley got together, Mikey and Andy said their first 'I love you's to one another and had come out to the rest of the school as well.

Tyler smiled faintly as he thought as he entered the cafeteria the following Tuesday morning. As crazy as they all were, he loved his friends.

Josh glanced at Tyler as he sat down before he smiled.

"Oh no, I don't like that smile. What's that smile for?" Tyler said immediately.

Pete laughed faintly. "You're showing those new songs, by the way. This weekend. You remember last year when we performed?"

"Who signed us up?" Tyler deadpanned.

Josh gave a faint laugh. "Your mom did, actually."

"Of course she did," Tyler groaned, letting his head fall against the table.

Patrick winced at the sound.

* * *

Tyler spent the rest of the week in a state of permanent anxiety. 

But he knew the rest of the group would be there to support him and Josh. He knew that, and logically, he knew he shouldn't be this anxious. But he'd been forced into this and it was out of his hands at that point, which scared him.

Of course, in his state of anxiety, he managed to have more energy than most expected at ten in the morning on Saturday.

"Ready, Tyjo?" Brendon asked curiously as the brunette joined them.

Tyler hummed in response. "Stay where I can see you guys, please," he said weakly.

"Of course." Patrick said with an understanding smile.

And of course, the first thing Tyler did when he and Josh took the stage was search the others in the group out. He threw them a half smile then got to work setting the keyboard to his standards.

He relaxed a little bit when the music was playing - he had something to focus on.

His voice joined the music easily - not shaky at all.

Patrick grinned as he listened - he knew that Tyler would relax throughout the entire first bit.

_"I'm evil to the core,_

_what I shouldn't do I will,_

_They say I'm emotional_

_What I wanna save I'll kill._

_Is that who I truly am?_

_I truly don't have a chance._

_Tomorrow I'll keep a beat_

_and repeat yesterday's dance."_

Tyler's voice faded for a moment before coming back - Josh kept an easy eye on the brunette through this. He was determined to not get caught off guard. 

_"It's the few, the proud, and the emotional._

_Yo, you, bulletproof in black like a funeral_

_The world around us is burning but we're so cold,_

_it's the few the proud and the emotional."_

Tyler glanced over at the rest of the group, throwing them a half-hearted grin. 

Patrick raised an eyebrow as he listened.

_"I'm not evil to the core,_

_what I shouldn't do I will fight,_

_I know I'm emotional_

_What I wanna save I will try._

_I know who I truly am,_

_I truly do have a chance_

_Tomorrow I'll switch the beat_

_to avoid yesterday's dance."_

Tyler looked down immediately after that, and when he continued - the same words as he'd done before - a lower tone came out than most people expected. 

Josh threw Tyler a startled look, but he didn't pause.

When the song ended, Tyler spoke while he fixed the keyboard settings again. "That sort of hurt, actually," he said with a faint smile.

He heard Brendon's laugh and glanced up from the keyboard. "To be fair, though, I hadn't practiced that at all. I hope I never have to, really,"

Josh chuckled from behind the drums.

Once Tyler finished what he was doing, he spoke. "This next one is....really important to me. It's one I've wanted to write for a long time, but I never had the words for it."

Then he nodded to Josh.

Pete hummed in surprise at the lyrics before the music started. He knew how this would shape up.

_"Thank God it's Friday,_

_cause Fridays will always be better than Sundays_

_'Cause Sundays are my suicide days._

_I don't know why they always seem so dismal,_

_Thunderstorms, clouds, snow and a slight drizzle,_

_Whether it's the weather or the letters by my bed,_

_Sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head."_

Patrick shared a look with Pete before blue eyes returned to Tyler. 

_"Am I the only one I know_

_waging my wars behind my face and above my throat?_

_Shadows will scream that I'm alone,_

_But I know that we've made it this far, kid."_

Tyler glanced up and out at the group before finding his family in the small crowd. 

He smiled faintly, raising his voice momentarily, catching sight of the minor surprise showing when he did.

_"I am not as fine as I seem. Pardon,_

_me for yelling, I'm telling you green gardens_

_are not what's growing in my psyche, it's a different me,_

_A difficult beast feasting on burnt-down trees."_

Josh threw a grin to Tyler, who glanced back just in time to catch it. They both understood the small reference to the first song Tyler had shared with him. 

_"Behind my eyelids are islands of violence,_

_My mind's ship-wrecked,_

_this is the only land my mind could find,_

_I did not know it was such a violent island,_

_Full of tidal waves, suicidal-crazed lions, "_

Tyler let his voice fade out for a moment, glancing down before he picked up singing again. 

_"I begin to assemble what weapons I can find,_

_'cause sometimes to stay alive you've gotta kill your mind."_

Pete hummed in response to this. "So....not as bleak as I thought it'd be," he told Patrick quietly. 

Tyler glanced up right about then with a knowing smile to the rest of the group.

_"And I will say that we should take a day to break away_

_From all the pain our brain has made,_

_The game is not played alone._

_And I will say that we should take a moment and hold it,_

_and keep it frozen and know that_

_Life has a hopeful undertone."_

When Tyler stopped singing this time, he immediately undid any settings on the keyboard before he spoke into the mic.

"This one....this one is the first one I ever shared with anyone. In fact, I shared it with Josh," he said, motioning back to Josh as he said his name. "It's....it's hard to explain, so I won't try to explain it. This last one way down to either one I hadn't put to music yet or this one. Both of them are both really special to me for different reasons. The name of this song is Forest. I hope you enjoy,"

Josh gave Tyler a knowing smile - he knew Tyler had promised the group a song like this would be performed.

And honestly, he was glad that it was this one. It was soothing.

Tyler's voice was soft as he started singing, but it held so much meaning that it startled some of the group.

_"I don't know why I feed on emotion_

_There's a stomach inside my brain._

_I don't wanna be heard,_

_I wanna be listened to._

_Does it bother anyone else_

_That someone else has your name?"_

Tyler smiled when he heard Josh settle into a soft beat - they had never practiced it like this, but it fit so perfectly. 

Patrick gave a faint smile to the two on stage.

_"We stay in place_

_'cause we don't wanna lose our live_

_So let's think of something better._

_Down in the forest,_

_we'll sing a chorus,_

_One that everybody knows._

_Hands held higher,_

_we'll be on fire,_

_singing songs that nobody wrote,"_

Tyler threw a look to his group to see their expressions during all this. He saw a bunch of emotions flicking across their faces, but he also noticed that they all seemed happy with his choice.

_"Quickly moving towards a storm,_

_Moving forward, torn_

_Into pieces over reasons_

_Of what these storms are for._

_I don't understand why everything I adore_

_Takes a different form when I squint my eyes._

_Have you ever done that?_

_When you squint your eyes,_

_And your eyelashes make it look a little not right_

_And then with just enough light_

_comes from just the right side_

_and you find you're not who you're supposed to be?"_

Josh threw a look to Tyler to see him smiling faintly. 

Tyler, however, was focused on their friends.

_"This is not what you're supposed to see,_

_Please, remember me, I am supposed to be_

_King of a kingdom or swinging on a swing_

_Something happened in my imagination._

_This situation's becoming dire,_

_my tree house is on fire,_

_and for some reason, I smell gas on my hands._

_This is not what I had planned,"_

At the end of it, the immediately left the stage and found the rest of the group. 

"I have to say, I'm impressed," Pete deadpanned as the two joined them.

Tyler gave him a thumbs up as he sat down in the grass where they all stood, burying his hands in his hair and letting a shaky sigh leave his body.

"Knew you were acting," Patrick said with a sigh. "You're okay, Ty."

Josh sat down beside Tyler, wrapping his arms around the brunette's waist.

Everyone settled down there for a while, letting Tyler focus on his breathing.

It remained shaky and ragged and just too shallow and fast for too long for anyone's comfort.

He coughed roughly a few times before he finally got his breathing even again.

Andy passed him a water bottle then. "You'll want it, I'm sure,"

Tyler gave him a shaky smile and took a small sip from it before handing it back. "Thanks...sorry, guys."

"Don't ever apologize for that," Patrick said, worry creeping into his voice. "You can't help it,"

Tyler hummed in response, letting his head fall back against Josh's shoulder.

Josh smiled faintly, kissing Tyler's cheek. "I'm so proud of you, baby," he said softly.

This got a groan out of the brunette. "Why would you be proud of your idiot boyfriend who faked his way through performing only to have a fucking anxiety attack once he was off stage?" he deadpanned.

This got a bit of laughter, but it was worried.

Josh rolled his eyes in response. "Because you got up there and shared your music, something you created, with people you didn't know, and probably helped quite a few people - I saw the expressions when you weren't paying attention. It's fine to be anxious and to fall apart, it makes you human. Now let me be proud of you,"

Silence fell over the group before Tyler gave a soft laugh - it was throaty and weak, but it was there.

And it set the pace for the next hour.

Things were calm, and the group ended up having a blast.

And when Tyler ended up falling asleep against Josh's shoulder as they all watched the sunset, no one said anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed an excused to get these songs out of my head.   
> Therefore, you guys get this.   
> The songs are "Fairly Local", "Migraine", and "Forest". Yes, I used it again.   
> Shush.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short, and I had the beginning of it sitting around collecting dust since the fifteenth.   
> I've just been more focused on other things recently, sorry guys.

"Oh no," Tyler remarked as he joined the group in the cafeteria Monday morning. His eyes were locked on Brendon, who had a notebook out and was writing as he sang under his breath.

"You're telling me," Dallon laughed, giving a knowing smile. "You should've heard some of his lyrics about a minute ago,"

Tyler grinned. "Really?" he asked. "Sorry I missed it, must've been a laugh,"

"If you're going to poke fun, then stop talking,"

Brendon's voice echoed some slight stress, but it was still light and excited.

Tyler met his gaze and gave a calm smile. "Sorry."

Brendon shrugged, going back to what he'd been doing.

Josh smiled faintly at the scene, grabbing Tyler's attention easily to give Brendon some peace while he wrote. "You're in a good mood this morning,"

Tyler hummed, nodding in response to this. "Course I am," he responded.

Josh smiled faintly, stealing a quick kiss before he returned to his conversation with Patrick, Pete, and Andy.

Tyler settled back to listen, content.

But his eyes filled with worry when he saw how quiet Andy was being - while the boy was usually quiet anyway, he'd been more open since he'd gotten together with Mikey.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, eyes focused on Andy.

Andy hummed, meeting worried brown eyes before he gave a small smile that faded too soon to be a real one. "Nothing,"

Tyler raised an eyebrow in response to this, but didn't argue with him, knowing Andy would tell him if he wanted to.

He was quiet for a while before he spoke again. "Mikey's mad at me," he offered with a shrug.

"Why?" Tyler asked, noting that the other three were listening as well.

Andy gave a wry smile in response to this. "Because I told him that I didn't want him to do anything he wasn't comfortable with,"

Tyler gave a nod of understanding. "He's trying to force himself to be okay with physical contact, then?"

Andy nodded in agreement.

A sigh escaped Patrick, who took up from there. "He'll calm down. Gee and Frank have him in the Art room talking with him, I'm sure that things will be fine soon,"

* * *

And sure enough, lunch brought the three to the table the rest of them were at. 

Mikey immediately sat down beside Andy and started talking with him quietly.

Tyler didn't pay attention to their conversation, but he saw Mikey give a small smile in response to Andy kissing his cheek and knew everything was fine.

Josh gave him a knowing smile of his own before returning to his food.


	28. Chapter 28

"Gee, Frank, and Joe graduate this year," Josh said softly to Tyler one afternoon while they were sitting in the tree house that Josh had shown Tyler.

Tyler glanced up at him before he nodded. "So they do. We gonna do something special for them?"

Josh shrugged. "I don't know. I think Pete mentioned throwing them a graduation party, just our group and whoever they want to invite?"

Tyler hummed at this.

* * *

That weekend was a slow one, one that was full of chatter for Tyler. 

Josh and him spent most of that weekend in the tree house, talking about anything that came to mind.

And so Sunday night found them sitting in the tree house, Tyler laying to where his head was half off the boards of the floor.

"You're going to fall," Josh laughed.

Tyler gave him a wild grin, but sat up, pushing himself to sit against one of the walls. "So, question,"

Josh hummed curiously, glancing over from the setting sun.

"Do you have anyone you'd live for?"

"That's a new one," Josh said with a wry smile. "Live for, huh? Why not die for?"

Tyler gave him a strange look before he started talking. "Because it's so easy to say you would die for someone, we say it all the time. But it's hard to say you'd live for someone. Like...Pete's promised to live for Patrick, and you saw how hard it was for him to get across, you can see him fighting to keep it when he's in a depressive episode. It's..."

"Sometimes I wonder how your mind works," Josh pointed out with a grin as Tyler trailed off. "I don't know for sure. I've never thought about it. What about you?"

Tyler gave a quiet laugh. "It's so hard for me to say I'd live for someone. For a long time, it was my family - I fought against Blurry so hard when he was trying to talk me into suicide for years because I didn't want to hurt them. And since meeting everyone else....I just don't know anymore, because I've seen how different things are now."

Tyler lapsed back into silence before he gave a shrug and a smile to Josh. "But I'd probably say you're one of the one's I'd live for. You were the first person I ever let in and shared my music with. You...make it easier to live for someone else, because when I'm around you, even if Blurry's there, I can't...he doesn't mean as much as he does when I'm alone."

Josh shook his head, moving to pull Tyler to him.

Tyler gave a wry smile, letting himself relax against the drummer.

* * *

They continued talking, asking random questions, until roughly two hours after dark. 

Tyler gave a sigh. "We should get home," he grumbled.

Josh laughed, but nodded in agreement.

Nothing more was said until they were on the ground and walking back towards home.

Then Josh spoke. "Maybe one day this summer, we can go stay overnight in the tree house," he said.

"That'd be sick!" Tyler said with a grin.

Josh gave a hum, contenting himself on walking in silence back to the Joseph residence, Tyler's hand caught in his own.

"Get some rest," Josh said softly. "Call if you can't sleep, we'll figure something out,"

Tyler gave him a thankful grin, leaning up to steal a kiss before he headed inside.

Josh gave a smile to the ground as he walked home.

* * *

First thing the next morning, Gerard spoke. "I see you two are happy," he said, looking between Josh and Tyler. 

Tyler glanced up at Gerard before he grinned. "Why?"

Gerard shrugged. "It's a nice change,"


	29. Chapter 29

"So, nice as it is," Patrick started at the end of the day.

Tyler glanced up curiously at him.

"What exactly has you so happy?"

This got a wry smile from Tyler, as well as a shrug.

Patrick didn't push, just shaking his head at Tyler as they joined everyone else.

* * *

Going home just long enough to drop his stuff off and give his parents a heads up that he was hanging out with friends that afternoon had become so normal to Tyler that he was surprised that his parents still seemed startled by it. 

Josh waited for him at the front door, throwing a happy farewell to Tyler's parents as the two left.

Tyler was content in doing the same with Josh's family before they were on their way to meet up with the rest of the group.

On the walk there, Tyler settled into an easy conversation with Josh.

After a moment, Josh spoke up. "Oh! Did you know that Gee and Mikey moved out of their parents' place?"

Tyler blinked at the blue-haired boy in surprise before he shook his head. "They didn't mention it to me,"

"I only know because Mikey told Andy and asked him to pass word along to us," Josh admitted with a shrug. "Must've gotten bad if they just up and moved out, since they barely get enough money to survive as it is with Gee's part-time job. He's had to let Mikey get one too, even though he didn't want to,"

Tyler nodded, not surprised though it was the first time he'd heard any of it. He knew better than to be surprised at this point about anything to do with the Way siblings. "So, what broke it?"

Josh shook his head with a helpless shrug. "But that's why we're all meeting up - trying to help them,"

Tyler nodded in understanding.

* * *

When they reached the park, Gerard and Mikey were already there - Mikey was sitting leaned against Andy's side, his masks laid down and replaced with worry. 

Gerard had Frank's arm around him but wasn't paying attention to anything.

"Everything okay?" Tyler asked as soon as they had settled with everyone else.

Mikey glanced up at him before he shrugged, looking back at his brother. "We knew it'd happen eventually,"

"What happened?"

Josh's voice was soft, but prompting - he knew everyone was curious, and honestly? They needed to know so that they could help fix things again.

Mikey said nothing, though. Instead, Gerard spoke up. "You've met our parents, Josh," he said, hazel eyes landing on the drummer. "Why do you think we left?"

"Did they decide to be asses about something, then?" Josh fired back, giving Gerard an unamused glare. "We're trying to help, Gee. But we can't do that if you don't tell us what happened,"

"Why, so you can all hate me too?" Gerard spat, hazel eyes dark and fearful.

Tyler watched him for a moment before he spoke. "You could kill and eat someone in front of us and we wouldn't hate you, Gerard," he said calmly. "Why would we abandon someone who's so purely themselves? What happened?"

Silence followed this statement for a long while, and eventually Mikey spoke after noting that his brother wasn't going to.

"Our parents are...kinda understanding about the whole gay thing," He offered, eyes never straying from Gerard. "But...I don't know...we never actually talked to them about identities or anything and..."

Brendon was the one who understood first and spoke. "Well..fuck them," he said, looking between the Ways. "Let's talk about that for a bit, get it all out, and then we'll all work through the rest?"

* * *

It was a long hour after that. Tyler was emotionally drained by the time it was all calm and worked through. 

He hated knowing that one of his friends had been so fucked over that they were scared to let people know who they were.

And the fact that Gerard had never even mentioned it was terrifying.

Tyler knew Brendon had mentioned something about Gerard not fitting into gender roles very well when he'd first met him, but this was different.

Gerard was quiet as he looked around at everyone else. The only one who hadn't reacted was Tyler. And so, hazel eyes stayed fixed on Tyler patiently.

Tyler noticed after a moment and gave a wry smile. "Sorry, just thinking," he offered, shaking his head. "You could've told us sooner. Misgendering is shit,"

Josh gave Tyler an amused grin - last year, the boy hadn't even known that it was possible to misgender someone, and now here he was remarking on it like he'd known about it his whole life.

Gerard gave a small smile and shrugged. "Wasn't important."

No one argued, everyone too emotionally spent for it.

* * *

Going home that night, Tyler gave Josh a small smile and kissed his cheek before going inside. 

"How was it?"

Tyler glanced over at his dad before he gave a wry smile. "Emotional," he admitted. "Gee and Mikey moved out on their own,"

And just like that, he settled down to explain to his parents what had happened, knowing that they'd understand and be able to get it all straight in his head.

As he fell asleep that night, he was glad that he had such understanding parents. He didn't know where he'd be without them.


	30. Chapter 30

Tyler wound up waking up at about three to Blurry's voice and groaned quietly.

He rolled over so he could sit up and blocked out Blurry's voice as well as he could after being woke up so suddenly.

But for a change, Blurry wasn't trying to hurt him. He was being...friendly.

Tyler refused to fall into a false sense of safety with him though. He knew better at that point.

Even so, he didn't bother to grab his phone to call Josh - he knew that the drummer needed sleep, and it was only a couple more hours until he had to be awake anyway, so he wasn't worried.

Instead, he got up and was quick about getting a shower and starting to get ready for the day ahead of him.

Once he had finished getting ready as far as he cared to - shower, dressed, he got the basics out of the way so he wasn't rushing in a few hours - he pulled his keyboard to himself and sat back down on his bed, settling into playing.

It wasn't something he did - play pointlessly. But after a moment, he paused and grabbed sheet music and restarted, jotting notes down as he went.

When his mom opened his door to see if he was up, she blinked in surprise.

"You're already dressed?"

Tyler hummed, glancing up from his sheet music to see his mom. He gave a wry smile and nodded. "I've been awake for a couple hours," he admitted.

That told her what she needed to know - that Blurry had woke him up, but that he was okay. She nodded. "Come have breakfast, then,"

Tyler gave her a kind smile and did as he'd been told without complaint.

* * *

 

"What were you working on this morning?"

Tyler glanced up at Zack's voice, curious. He gave a wry smile and shrugged. "I'm not sure yet. I just started playing and....I liked how it sounded so.."

Zack nodded in understanding as he settled across from his brother. "You'll have to tell me when it's done," he said after a long moment.

"Sure," Tyler said with a knowing smile, settling back into his breakfast.

He was ready to go by the time a knock sounded on the door.

In fact, he was sitting curled up on the couch with his notebook open, writing lyric ideas when a knock sounded.

Zack was the one who opened the door, leaving it open to go finish getting ready.

Josh entered with an amused smile, pushing the door closed behind him and raising an eyebrow at Tyler. "You're ready to go?"

Tyler hummed in agreement. "Yeah, lemme finish this,"

Josh said nothing in response, instead greeting Tyler's parents warmly.

Once Tyler finished what he was writing, he put his pencil in the notebook and closed it, putting it in his bag and getting up. "Let's go,"

Josh let Tyler leave the house first before following him, smiling faintly as the closed the door behind them, settling into their walk to the school. "So, what were you working on?"

Tyler shrugged. "I've been up since three, and I have this sick idea for a song with music, but I can't get the lyrics down,"

"Working in reverse then?" Josh asked in surprise. "What got you up at three?"

"Blurry," Tyler said with a sigh. "But he wasn't trying to kill me, so we're alright," he added when he saw the worry in Josh's eyes.

Josh sighed, but nodded in understanding.

* * *

Joining the rest of the group in the cafeteria was nice, Tyler decided. He settled into writing easily as they all talked. 

When Gerard and Mikey finally joined them, he had to stop because Gerard decided to talk to him. "What the hell are you wearing, Tyler?"

Tyler hummed, glancing up at him before looking down at what he was wearing - jeans that were worn thin in places in a faded black-grey, a black shirt, and his usual vans. He shrugged. "What's wrong with it?" he asked.

Josh laughed. "The over-shirt thing."

"Oh." Tyler said, looking at the flowered garment on the back of his chair. "It's just..."

Gerard gave him a knowing smile. "Yeah, alright. Up. Put that on,"

Tyler sighed, but did as he was asked, letting Gerard have his moment.

Josh laughed quietly as he watched Tyler.

Once the brunette was allowed to sit back down, he spoke. "Never wearing that again, are you?"

"Not around Gee," Tyler said as he went back to his writing.

"What are you working on?" Patrick asked curiously.

"A song," Tyler deadpanned. "The lyrics aren't wanting to come out, though."

"He already has the music," Josh offered. "He's been awake since three working on it,"

Silence fell over the group for a moment. They all knew what usually caused Tyler to have his restless nights.

"You good?" Patrick asked after a while, worried blue eyes landing on Tyler.

Tyler nodded in agreement. "Just fine. No murderous intent, so I'm good,"

* * *

But by lunch, Tyler was a ball of anxiety as he worked. 

Josh watched him worriedly as he joined the group. "Anything?"

Tyler nodded in agreement. "Something. Just not....good."

Josh took the notebook from Tyler and skimmed the lyrics before he gave a soft laugh. "You hold yourself to standards that are way too high, baby," he pointed out as he handed the notebook back. "They're perfect, calm down."

"No they aren't," Tyler countered. "They need to..."

Then Josh understood. "This song isn't for you,"

Tyler shook his head, tapping a beat out absently on the table. "Not really."

* * *

Gerard watched in amusement as Tyler blocked out everything during gym. He rolled his eyes when Tyler started humming softly before he wrinkled his nose. "Alright, let's hear it," he said, settling down in front of the brunette. "Any other day you'd be playing basketball, but today you're sitting alone with this song,"

Tyler glanced up at him before he gave a wry smile. "It's nothing, Gee."

"Sing some of what you have, let me help before you have a meltdown," Gerard deadpanned. "You're shaking as it is,"

Tyler looked down before he sighed and nodded, doing as he'd been asked.

Gerard listened closely before he smiled and moved to help Tyler a bit.

"Sharing with everyone when it's done?" Gerard asked after class ended.

Tyler shrugged, but nodded. "Yeah. Zack wants to hear it too, so..."

Gerard nodded in understanding.

* * *

By the end of the day, Tyler was calmer. 

It was Tuesday of the next week before he had it perfect, though, with Josh's help with the music.

"So, after school, right?" Gerard asked with a grin when Tyler told the group it was done.

Tyler nodded in agreement. "My place," he offered.

Brendon's eyes lit up in amusement. "Most of us have never been to your house, Ty."

"And you'll do good to not break anything, Bren. Don't think I'll protect you from my mom's wrath if you break something," Tyler countered with a grin. "I'm only doing it there because it's close, Josh's drums are there right now, and Zack wanted to hear it."

No one argued.

* * *

After school, though, the group was missing a few people - the girls had decided to bail out, and Dallon had had something else to do. 

Even so, Tyler's mom was quite happy to be able to put faces to names.

Tyler left them alone long enough to find his brother.

"Damn, Ty, that's a group,"

Zack's laughing comment caught some attention.

Josh grinned at him. "This is us missing people, actually," he pointed out. "We're all just very stubborn about hearing what each other creates,"

Zack nodded in agreement. "Let's get this started?"

Tyler disappeared as soon as this was said, going into the garage without a word.

The group was quick to find places to sit, and Josh gave Tyler a reassuring, excited smile as he sat behind the drums.

Tyler didn't miss his parents coming to stand by the door to listen either.

He bit his lip as he heard Blurry's voice come back, still not taunting, but not as friendly as before either. He knew he'd end up an anxious mess if he waited any longer.

And so, he didn't pause long enough to do anything but make sure the keyboard was set like it should be.

Josh settled into drums easily as well, giving Tyler something too feed from.

Zack didn't have much of a reaction to the first bit - he knew too much about his brother's anxiety to be bothered. But he could feel the group wasn't the same.

Tyler gave a wry smile at the second verse, though, locking eyes with Zack before they returned to the keyboard.

_"Sometimes a certain smell will take me back to when I was young,_

_How come I'm never able to identify where it's coming from?"_

Zack's expression went from a neutral grin to a look of surprise as he listened. 

Then he rolled his eyes in response to Tyler's words.

_"But it would remind us of when nothing really mattered,_

_out of student loans and tree house homes, we all would take the latter."_

Josh threw a surprised look to Tyler from his place behind the drums before he grinned. 

Gerard was smiling faintly as he listened.

Tyler was calm, smiling faintly as he sang, a nice change from the state of anxiety he'd been in while writing.

_"Wish we could turn back time,_

_To the good ol' days,_

_when our mommas sang us to sleep,_

_but now we're stressed out,"_

Tyler's playing stopped at the end, but he smiled when Josh kept playing - he found himself glad he'd gave Josh the heads up that he was gonna use Blurry's voice at the end. 

He was especially glad he'd gave the warning to Josh when he smiled calmly in response to the near panicked look given by Zack.

Once Josh's playing stopped, Zack spoke. "You're an ass, Ty. You know that?"

Tyler grinned at his brother. "Might as well pay tribute to the one who gave me the idea to begin with," he pointed out. "You content, Zack?"

"I suppose," Zack said with a smile. "You should post some of these somewhere, bet they'd help a lot of people,"

And just like that, Zack left, his parents following.

Tyler rolled his eyes, but settled down with the rest of the group to let them have their chance to bother him about it all.

"Why didn't you warn us you were using Blurry's voice?"

Tyler gave a wry smile to Pete, who was glaring at him. "Because it was only an idea that I had, and I only gave the heads up that I might to Josh, because he was playing and I didn't want him to freak out."

This got a few chuckles, and things settled down after that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Stressed Out.   
> I absolutely hate this song, though, because it's been over played so much.   
> But...I kind of wanted to use it in this story because it is so widely known by the fans, and I guess..it does have a good meaning behind it.   
> That being said, it took a lot for me to decide to use it. I hope you all understand.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me start by saying this:  
> I'm sorry my updates for this story are so everywhere.   
> My excuse? I've gotten an idea for an original story I want to write. I've spent the last week and a half trying to piece together everything I need to get started - I've even started a playlist on my Spotify for stuff to listen to while I write it.   
> That being said, I'm looking for more music - if you have any suggestions....well...I'm on Tumblr - magicandeverafter.   
> Feel free to send me suggestions. Please. I need them.

When the girls joined the group at school the next day, they immediately asked how everything went.

"He scared his brother," Josh offered. "And almost everyone else,"

Ashley raised an eyebrow in response. "How?"

"Blurry's voice," Tyler commented with a shrug. "I guess I should've given a warning, but it was a total last minute decision to actually use it,"

"That's lovely," Melanie responded with a quiet laugh. "I'm sorry we missed it,"

Patrick laughed. "Probably best. His family was already slightly overwhelmed by us,"

"To be fair, you had Bren and Gee in the same area," Tyler countered. "Anyone sane would be overwhelmed."

"Guess that means we aren't sane?" Pete asked.

Tyler snorted. "Of course we aren't sane."

Dallon grinned at Tyler. "You....you've come a long way since we met,"

Tyler frowned in confusion.

"Well...when we first met, no one could call anyone insane around you without you flinching,"

Tyler went a bit pink and nodded. "Oh. That."

* * *

"Why are they being cute?" Tyler asked Josh quietly when they joined the group at lunch to see Melanie and Ashley sitting together taking pictures. 

Josh shrugged helplessly. "I don't know, but don't make them mad,"

Tyler nodded in agreement, settling into his food.

* * *

Over all, at the end of the day, Tyler was quite content in how he was living - it was so different than anything he'd ever expected would happen, but it was perfect in his opinion. 


	32. Chapter 32

Over that weekend, Tyler found himself falling into a calm routine alone.

Of course, Sunday morning, he woke up to Josh literally pulling him from his bed. "Help me,"

Tyler groaned, but blinked his eyes open against the light in his room to see Brendon standing in the doorway and Josh giving him a pleading look. "What...?"

"If Dallon sees Bren like this, it'll be war," Josh said, tone quiet and pleading. "Help me sober him up,"

Tyler sighed, but nodded, guiding Brendon into the room and pushing him gently so he was sitting on the chair at the desk before disappearing, coming back with a glass of water. "I have Zack and Jay coming to help,"

Josh sank down on Tyler's bed and huffed. "I'm not meant to babysit someone insane as Brendon."

"He's high as a kite, isn't he?"

Josh glanced over to see Zack grinning as he entered, a younger boy trailing after him. "And still slightly drunk. Or hungover. One of the two. I can't tell,"

Tyler sighed, quickly giving Zack something to do as he dialed Patrick's number and placed his phone on speaker.

Josh watched quietly before moving to help Zack when Jay opted out and sat on Tyler's bed quietly instead.

" _Tyler? You alright? What's going on? Do you need me to come there?"_

Tyler chuckled quietly at Patrick's worried, albeit tired questions. "No, no, I'm fine," he said, sharing a knowing look with Josh. "How do you sober Bren up, though?"

" _Punch him,"_

Tyler bit his lip to keep from laughing when he heard Pete's voice.

" _Please, for the love of all that is good, punch him in the face."_

A shushing sound came from Patrick's end and Josh shook his head in amusement as he worked at getting Brendon to cooperate. 

" _Alright. Water's good, keep him calm, and preferably in a chair or something so he can't break anything. Most of it is gonna have to be given time,"_ Patrick said after a long moment. " _What's he done this time?"_

"High and either drunk from last night or hungover,"

A groan came from Patrick in complaint to Josh's words. " _I take it back, Pete's suggestion sounds much better now. Just get him comfortable and keep him hydrated. Don't let Dallon know you have him,"_

Tyler hummed in agreement. "Thanks, 'Trick. We'll let you get back to Pete now,"

" _Yeah, thanks for interrupting my morning cuddles,"_ Pete grumbled, then a click.

"Is everything gonna be okay? Should I get mom?"

Tyler glanced over to Jay before he smiled faintly. "Go tell her Bren and Josh are here and that Bren's likely gonna be sick soon?"

Jay nodded, getting up and disappearing.

Zack gave a soft smile to his brother. "You know you just made his day?"

Josh gave them a strange look as he let Brendon relax.

Tyler noticed and shook his head in answer to a silent question.

* * *

Brendon was sick within the next hour, and once he felt a bit better, they had Gerard come get him and drive him home. 

Josh sighed as he laid down beside Tyler, who had immediately curled back up in bed after Brendon left, pulling the brunette boy to him happily. "Sorry for interrupting your sleep. I know you don't get much of it as it is,"

Tyler gave a quiet laugh in response. "it's fine. I have blackmail material on Bren now," he responded, settling down and listening to Josh's quiet breathing.

Before he could go back to sleep, Josh moved him again, making him groan in complaint, but it was cut off by a chaste kiss and a quiet I love you from the drummer.

Tyler smiled in response, murmuring the sentiment back to Josh and letting himself fall asleep again.

Mrs. Joseph showed up in the doorway about ten minutes after Tyler had fallen back to sleep and shook her head with a fond smile. "I was going to ask if the two of you wanted breakfast, but I guess he's content to sleep?"

"I'll make sure he eats when he wakes up," Josh promised softly, leaning his head against Tyler's happily.

"Of course,"

* * *

The two boys didn't leave bed for most of the morning. 

When Tyler woke back up close to one in the afternoon, he seemed happy to stay where he was until Josh woke up as well after throwing a look up at the drummer.

It didn't take long for Josh to wake back up, giving a grin before yawning.

* * *

They wound up on one of their Taco Bell 'dates' later, and ended up sitting out on Tyler's roof as the sun went down. 

Josh was the one who spoke first, breaking the comfortable silence between them. "I'm scared," he admitted.

Tyler gave him a worried look in response. "Why? What's going on?"

It was quiet for a long while before Josh shook his head and spoke, looking over to meet Tyler's eyes. "I don't know. It's like...this is a dream or something, and I'm scared I'll wake up and I don't want it to end because I'm happy."

Tyler gave a small smile in response. He knew what Josh was talking about. It didn't feel real, sometimes.

But he didn't say anything of the sort, knowing it wouldn't help. Instead, he moved to curl up against Josh's side, taking the drummer's hand in his own before laying his head against his shoulder.

Josh relaxed against him.

No words needed - this one was an easy fix.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I'm sorry guys. I know my update schedule has been shot to hell.   
> I meant to update yesterday but....it's a long story.  
> So...trump as president. That's terrifying. I spent yesterday in a ball of fear and anxiety while trying to stay calm and comfort friends who were worse off than myself.  
> I'm completely spent At this point but I wanted to turn out a chapter before finally allowing myself to get some sleep. Hope everyone's doing okay.   
> Feel free to contact me on tumblr - accountablefreedoms or magicandeverafter (preferably the first.) Or quotev- welcometoneverlanddarling.   
> I'm here if you ever need anyone.  
> Stay strong, stay alive.

Monday brought tired conversations and Tyler cuddling into Josh's side to relax.

He didn't speak when spoken to, just gave a tired smile in response, eyes half closed.

Patrick chuckled in response to this. "This is why you sleep at night, Tyler."

Tyler waved him off.

"Well at least classes will be fun with him." Brendon pointed out.

* * *

 _Today couldn't go by any slower or we'd be frozen in time,_ Tyler thought when he joined everyone for lunch.

The day had felt like it was lasting for years.

He gave a soft smile when he saw Mikey steal a kiss from Andy, who was midsentence in a story about a show he'd gone to over the weekend. 

Andy only gave Mikey a surprised but warm, happy smile and continued, wrapping his arms around the quiet bassist.

It didn't escape Tyler's notice that Gerard seems torn between smiling at the cute scene and being upset because it was Mikey.

"Some things will never change," Josh said quietly when he noticed Tyler watching the rest of the group with a fond smile and bright eyes. 

Tyler nodded in agreement. "Wouldn't want it any other way."


	34. Chapter 34

"You're asking me to completely destroy my voice,"

Tyler gave Patrick a strange look when that was the first thing he heard at lunch the following Monday.

"You promised, 'Trick!" Pete said with a laugh. "You promised once I got the music worked out that we could do this song,"

"Can I ask?" Tyler questioned.

Patrick waved this away. "Old song," he told Tyler before refocusing on Pete. "Andy and Joe have already agreed with you on music for it?"

Pete nodded in agreement, pulling his phone out to show Patrick the messages.

"Fine." Patrick said with a groan. "This is the last one, though."

Pete grinned happily, kissing Patrick's cheek.

Patrick rolled his eyes. "We'll be staying after, I guess." he told the rest of the group.

No one argued - the fact that Patrick hadn't asked told them it was one that had previously been promised.

Tyler figured it was from before he joined their number and didn't question it.

* * *

There was a sense of excitement within the group the rest of the day, and they all met in the band room immediately after school. 

Patrick glanced up from an old notebook when the door opened. "Hey guys," he greeted, going back to reading over the lyrics on the page.

"Still not memorized?" Josh asked teasingly.

Patrick shrugged. "It's been a while since I looked at them,"

"It'll come naturally," Pete promised him. "As always,"

Tyler just settled down silently, feeling out of place suddenly.

Once the rest of the group was there, they immediately started so Patrick didn't have time to back out.

Of course, Patrick didn't seem amused by this, but went with it anyway, letting the music give him the energy he needed to get this over with.

Tyler smiled faintly when he heard Patrick sing. It was the same tone he'd had in his voice when they did Grand Theft Autumn so long ago, and he really enjoyed it.

_"I am such a sucker_

_And I'm always the last to know."_

Patrick glanced up, glancing at the group from where he had been focused on the lyrics in front of him before he gave a wry smile. 

But he relaxed, and the rest of the group settled once he had.

_"Every friend we ever had in common,_

_I will sever the tie, sever the tie with you._

_You can thank your lucky stars that everything_

_I wish for will never come true."_

Tyler raised an eyebrow at Patrick before he bit his lip to keep from smiling. This was a new side to Patrick, to him at least. 

None of the others seemed as surprised at Tyler was.

_"I've seen sinking ships go down with more grace than you._

_Turn this up, I'll tune you out._

_Another night alone in the city_

_Fake it like you matter, that's a lie we can both keep."_

When this was over, Patrick immediately put the notebook away. "Content?" he asked absently, throwing a glance to Pete. 

Pete grinned at him. "Perfectly content," he responded.

"Good. Let's get out of here then. Food." Patrick said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

The rest of the group drifted out once they were gone.

"So why'd Pete push for this today?" Tyler questioned as Josh and him headed to their neighborhood.

Josh shook his head. "Same reason you get antsy about vent songs," he offered. "Patrick never vented out his self hate back when he wrote a bunch of those songs and it's coming back to bite him. Pete hates watching him destroy himself,"

Tyler nodded in understanding. "Anything we can do to help?"

Josh gave Tyler an amused smile. "Encourage Patrick whenever we can. Don't let him self destruct."

Tyler nodded.

He knew what that meant. There wasn't actually anything they could do for Patrick right now, just bide time.

He could do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used is 'Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here)' by Fall Out Boy.


	35. Chapter 35

Come Friday, Patrick had forgotten it had happened and was back to his usual self.

But that worried Tyler more than him being out of it for a good while.

Of course, Friday was the exact day they got to see Melanie's temper.

She stormed into the Art Room with the rest of the group that morning furious and looking nothing like her usual self.

"Mel...?" Ashley asked in surprise, looking at the pastel girl in surprise. "What's the matter?"

But Melanie didn't answer, grumbling under her breath as she slammed her bag onto the table with everyone else's stuff and then basically threw herself into a chair away from the rest of the group.

Silence fell over the room at this and then Patrick spoke up. "What happened?"

No answer.

A few moments later, Mikey joined them, looking just as angry, but more controlled.

It was quiet for a moment before the usually closed off bassist spoke, directing his words at Melanie. "You should've punched them. But don't listen to them,"

"Want to share with the rest of us?" Gerard asked, giving his brother a look when he went to snap.

It was quiet for another few seconds before Mikey huffed and sat down with Andy. "Some of the girls were harassing Melanie," he offered.

"I'll kill them," Ashley spat immediately, eyes fiery and switching between Mikey and Melanie. "Just say the fucking word,"

"Don't," Melanie said after a few seconds.

They didn't ask what had been said once Melanie and Mikey had both calmed down.

Tyler gave Josh a meaningful look, but said nothing.

* * *

It really shouldn't have surprised anyone when they all received a message from Melanie on Sunday. 

Tyler had been sitting with his family, watching some show with them when his phone alerted him to the message.

He threw an apologetic smile to his parents and checked it quickly, only to do a double take at what the message said.

And so, when his phone started going off, telling him he had a call coming through, he excused himself to the kitchen to answer it.

"Yeah, hi," he said into the phone, placing it on speaker and laying it on the counter.

" _You got Melanie's message too, right?"_ Josh's voice offered warily.

Tyler gave a bark of laughter. "Yeah, I did. What's so important that we're meeting her at the school on a Sunday?" he asked.

" _No clue. Be ready in ten. Patrick and Pete are picking us up from yours."_

And then a dial tone. 

Tyler shook his head, but pocketed his phone and moved to the living room again. "Mom..? Dad...?"

The television was immediately forgotten as his parents turned to him.

Tyler seemed a bit wary this time, though, since he didn't have details. "Uh...Melanie just messaged all of us and wants us to meet her....is...that alright?"

It was quiet for a moment, the air slightly tense with Tyler's anxiety and his parents immediate worry.

"What's wrong, exactly?" His dad offered.

Tyler shook his head, then shrugged and spoke. "She...some of the other girls were harassing her Friday. I think it might be something to do with that," he responded, looking down. "She wouldn't talk to any of us about it when it happened.."

"Well...give her our well wishes,"

When Patrick showed up in the doorway to reveal Josh on the porch with Pete, Tyler bid them goodbye and left. "Any idea what's wrong with Mel?"

Patrick shook his head as they all climbed in his car and started towards the school. "No clue."

When they got there, it was to see the rest of the group sitting off on the side of the parking lot.

Melanie was dressed much more daringly now that she wasn't having to follow dress code - a see through plastic skirt over what seemed to be shorts and a crop top.

Tyler shook his head with a fond grin at the girl. "You okay?"

Melanie nodded in agreement. "I just....sorry for calling you guys all the way out...it's stupid..."

Ashley rolled her eyes and spoke. "She finished a song last night," she commented. "And she wanted to share with us before she did something as a bit of revenge on the girls from Friday."

Tyler sighed. "We're gonna be made accessories to a crime today, are we?" he asked, amusement dripping from his words.

"Not technically illegal," Melanie said, bristling. "The music teacher is letting us in to do this,"

Tyler chose not to comment on the still borderline illegality of the situation.

Once they were settled in the music room, lights on again, Melanie hesitated. "I'm really sorry,"

"Stop apologizing," Pete prompted. "Just show us what you've got. It'll be nice to hear one of your original songs."

Melanie smiled, nodding in agreement with this and grabbing a guitar from one of the practice rooms before joining the group again. "It's...not all worked out."

They let her hesitate for a while, until she felt more comfortable.

And once she started playing, they all settled down to listen, supportive smiles showing when the girl glanced up at them nervously when she started singing.

_"It doesn't matter what you pull until you're home_

_We know what goes on inside_

_You call that ass your own, we call that silicone_

_Silly girl with silly boys."_

Tyler threw a look to Josh before he shook his head with a grin, eyes going back to Melanie in surprise. 

_"Blood still stains when the sheets are washed,_

_sex don't sleep when the lights are off_

_Kids are still depressed when you dress them up,_

_and syrup is still syrup in a sippy cup._

_He's still dead when you're done with the bottle,_

_of course it's a corpse that you keep in the cradle."_

Melanie glanced up for a moment to see fond smiles and surprised eyes and looked back down with a smile of her own showing. 

_"Pill diet, pill diet, if they give you a new pill then you will buy it_

_If they say to kill yourself, then you will try it."_

Patrick started, immediately staring at Melanie in surprise before throwing a look over at Pete and Tyler to see the two of them both grinning at the girl in front of them. 

He knew suicide was a very touchy subject to the group, and he knew Melanie knew it as well.

_"All the makeup in the world won't make you less insecure,_

_you got weights in your pockets, when you go to the doctor's."_

Gerard shifted slightly, but only shook his head when Frank gave him a strange look. 

Once Melanie had stopped playing, silence reigned for a moment before Gerard broke the silence. "That was different. Amazing, but different,"

Melanie smiled at the praise.

It was quiet for a moment while Melanie put the guitar away, then Ashley grinned. "Let's get started, hmm? We need to be out of here soon,"

And so, the group all stood and followed the girls, getting instructions and papers and being split in groups.

* * *

They were all out before dark and immediately headed to a cafe. 

"Tomorrow is going to be amazing," Ashley said, eyes bright and mischievous.

Tyler nodded in agreement. "It will be, won't it?"

Melanie and Patrick came back carrying drinks and Josh spoke. "You could've let us help you," he told the two as they set the drinks on the table and passed them to their appropriate owners.

Patrick spoke as he handed Josh and Tyler their drinks. "Shut up and enjoy the drinks, will you?"

But once everyone was settled and had their drinks, Brendon spoke. "A toast," he said, holding his coffee cup up.

Everyone gave him a strange look, so Brendon laughed and slung an arm around Melanie, who'd made the decision to sit by him.

Melanie gave him a deadpan look, but suffered for his amusement.

"To Melanie," Brendon said simply. "It's hell to stand up to assholes, alone or with backup. So a toast, to her for her strength, and to us as a group for being fucking insane,"

Laughs sounded, but they agreed with Brendon's suggestion and managed to settle down with minimal mess of spilled drinks.

"Oh! Melanie!" Tyler said suddenly. "My parents send their well wishes. I told them you'd had a hard time on Friday."

Melanie gave Tyler a laughing smile before she nodded. "Tell them I said thank you,"

Tyler nodded in agreement.

And as they settled back into their usual jokes and laughter, disrupting everyone in the cafe with them, Tyler smiled fondly, shaking his head and ducking a tossed bit of napkin his way from Frank.

He wasn't sure when this group had become his home, but it had. And with that thought, he nearly choked on his drink.

Patrick gave him a startled, worried look when he started sputtering. "Are you alright?"

Tyler glanced up with misty, but happy eyes. "I...yeah."

Melanie shook her head fondly at this. "Want to share whatever was so amazing it was nearly death-worthy?"

Tyler laughed at her words before he spoke. "Just....thinking. It feels like I've known all of you forever. But I haven't. And...well...people, normal people, expect you to think of home as a dwelling, a place you live, like with your family or something but..."

He trailed off for a moment, thinking it was suddenly very dumb, but Melanie finished his thought process. "But this group feels more like home than a house does?"

Tyler nodded in agreement, sharing a smile with her.

"I like that," Dallon admitted from where he was tucked under Brendon's arm, sipping at hot chocolate.

Josh squeezed Tyler's free hand happily, and his shared agreement was left unspoken.

But no one at the table called it crazy or stupid. In fact, they all seemed to agree.

Gerard was the last to speak on the matter. "Well...I'm glad to have such a wonderful home as I do with this group, then." he said with an easy smile. "It's better than most people our age have,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is 'Sippy Cup' by Melanie Martinez, just in case anyone doesn't know.   
> I wanted to write fluff, okay? And I had to do it the hard way.   
> But I hope you enjoyed it, at any rate!


	36. Chapter 36

The following morning at school for the group was full of chaos.

Tyler looked up, startled, at the near scream coming from one of the girls who had been targeting Melanie. He threw a look over his shoulder at the doorway to the Art room to see the lockers in the commons area just outside the Arts hallway to see what Melanie had left behind.

He threw a look over at Melanie before he smiled. "Clever," he pointed out. "Melted a barbie head, then?"

"It took hours," Melanie said with a shrug. "There's some in every one of their lockers,"

Tyler laughed in response to this.

* * *

The group was careful to avoid trouble, and come lunch, everyone was in a pretty good mood.

Everyone was laughing as Josh and Andy went back and forth drumming on the table with pencils.

Tyler gave a fond smile to the group of people he'd found himself amazed to be able to be near, then looked down at the notebook laying open in front of him. He'd been.trying to write earlier, but he knew he'd never get anywhere at this rate. 

Josh glanced over at him and grinned, then went back to his drumming. 

"What's going on in that head of yours, Tyjo?" Pete asked after seeing the brunette lose his smile. 

Tyler shook his head. "Just thinking. I sort of want to spend the weekend out of the house....hell, out of this town. But..?"

"Sounds fun," Josh said immediately. "Where are we heading and when do we leave?"

Tyler's eyes widened and locked onto honest, excited mocha eyes. "I...uh..."

Gerard laughed. "We'll all do it," he said with a shrug. "Just tell us what to say, where we're going and what time we're leaving."

Tyler was silent for a moment before tearing the page he had been staring at out to start planning. 

He knew it wouldn't get far. Blurry never let him plan escapes. But he could fight to get what his friends needed if they wanted to join him. 

 


	37. Chapter 37

The rest of the week was spent with Tyler getting the details his friends needed.

Beyond that, nothing noteworthy happened between any of them.

Of course, once the weekend hit, Patrick and Pete showed up to Tyler's house to get Josh and him.

"Got everything?" Patrick asked from where he was standing in the doorway, watching as Tyler did last minute checks and talked to his mom.

Josh nodded in agreement. "He's just anxious," he offered.

Patrick nodded as Josh picked the bags up - only two, both just their usual bookbags that were packed for their weekend with their friends. "We're meeting everyone else at the bridge leading out of town," he offered.

Josh nodded, taking the bags out to the car without a word.

"Be careful, all of you,"

Tyler bid his family a farewell as he left, and Patrick gave Tyler's mom a calm smile. "Don't worry, we'll be safe,"

* * *

Once they reached the bridge, they pulled off the road where the others were - Ashley was sitting on the trunk of Brendon's car with a guitar across her lap, busy playing something when they pulled up. 

Tyler grinned at her when he got out of the car.

"About time you guys got here!" Ashley commented with bright eyes and a grin as she handed the guitar back to Brendon, who put it back in it's case and then back in the trunk once Ashley had gotten down.

Gerard rolled his eyes. "So are we heading anywhere special?"

Tyler shrugged, then shook his head. "Nope, I'm going into this hoping to get lost for a while," he offered.

Patrick gave an amused smile. "So, we'll stop off somewhere whenever everyone gets hungry and eat, then we'll be back on the road."

"Sounds good to me," Brendon said with a grin.

* * *

The beginning of the trip was a bit less exciting for everyone, most of it was spent with music blaring from the radio until Tyler got a message from Melanie. 

"Next restaurant you see, pull in." he told Patrick, who hummed in understanding. 

* * *

One thing that Tyler learned about going to a restaurant with the entire group was that they were able to overwhelm the workers there without meaning to. 

He remained nothing less than apologetic through the entire ordeal of ordering and receiving their food before finding seats.

The conversations were like they stayed during lunch at school - full of pointless chatter and jokes and laughter.

It made Tyler feel at home.

Ashley spent some of her time writing, and Tyler seemed surprised to see this, but said nothing when she caught his gaze and held a finger to her lips.

"So where are heading now?" Dallon asked once everyone had finished eating.

Tyler shrugged. "Not sure,"

Josh gave him an amused look. "Why don't we head out of state?" he asked. "It isn't that far to the state line, we can make it there and back home within a day, no problem."

Tyler gave Josh a small smile, then looked at everyone else.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Gerard commented, standing up. "We'll let you know if any of us need to stop off somewhere."

* * *

They pulled over at sunset, and Brendon darted off to get some wood for a small fire for as long as they were there - it wouldn't be too long a time, just long enough to stretch their legs and unwind from being in a car all day. 

Once the fire was going, Tyler looked around them to see spotty areas of trees and empty road that seemed to stretch on forever.

It was a nice change from being stuck in a car, being able to sit out somewhere and just take it all in. 

Josh seemed to notice that he wasn't completely with them, but he only smiled at the spark in chocolate brown eyes before going back to his conversation.

Tyler decided then that he wanted to do something that required travel. Because this would never get old, feeling so free from reality while still being in it.

 


	38. Chapter 38

One of Tyler's favorite things about being in a car with some of his friends was that the radio was constantly playing.

He didn't recognize any of the songs, but by three in the morning, he was still attempting to sing along to the songs playing.

Josh seemed amused where he was driving Patrick's car.

Patrick shifted in the passenger seat where he was napping against the window.

Tyler leaned back in his seat, rolling the window beside him down to let the chilled air hit his face.

His attention was caught by his phone alerting him to a message, though. He grabbed it and then spoke. "Pull in at the next gas station, Jish," he offered over the sound of the radio and the wind.

Josh nodded in understanding.

Ten minutes later found them all at a gas station, getting gas and snacks and drinks, as well as taking a much needed bathroom break.

None of them really said anything until they were getting ready to head out again.

"So, I'm thinking we find someplace and park it for the night," Gerard said with a yawn. "Field, maybe? It's a beautiful night,"

Tyler nodded in agreement. "Sounds good to me," he agreed with a small smile.

* * *

Over all, an hour after they left the gas station, they all found themselves parked in an empty field off the side of the highway. 

While the girls opted to sleep in Gerard's car, the guys sat outside for a while before retiring.

Tyler and Josh were the last two still awake, and even then, both of them were laying back, stargazing.

"Tyler?" Josh said quietly, trying not to disturb any of their sleeping friends.

Tyler hummed, glancing over at him curiously.

Josh smiled softly in response. "I love you," he offered.

Tyler grinned at him, pulling him into a soft kiss before he settled back down. "Time to get some sleep, Jish,"

The message got across well enough for Josh, and the next thing he knew, he was waking up to the sun coming up on the horizon and Tyler nudging him. "Sleep more in the car, we gotta head out,"

Josh got up to see everyone else packing their things back in the cars and getting ready to leave again.

Patrick tossed the keys to Tyler with a grin. "Let's see how you manage,"

Tyler fumbled with the keys for a moment before giving a sheepish smile.

"We'll message Patrick if we need something," Gerard offered as he got in his car.

* * *

They drove a good bit further before they stopped for lunch, deciding they should head back afterwards so they made it back in time.

The drive back home was a lot less exciting in Tyler's mind.

They still kept blaring music, this time with Pete hooking his phone up via AUX cord and putting it to spotify to play through random songs that nobody seemed to know.

But once again, Tyler paid no mind to that. And this time? The other three also tried to sing along as well, laughter riddling their voices.

Once they were all in town again, it was getting closer to dinner, and they all stopped at Tyler's house.

"Alright, Ty, fun as that was, not again for another few months, okay?" Frank commented from the passenger seat of Gerard's car. "We'd best get the girls home,"

Brendon left without a word, throwing a wave out the window.

When it was just the four of them, they headed inside.

"Oh, I didn't expect you back so soon,"

Tyler threw a smile to his mom, stretching.

The next hour was full of stories being told to Tyler's family, then Patrick and Pete had to head out.

Josh stayed for a bit longer before bidding his farewell as well and heading home with a promise to see Tyler at school.


End file.
